Sad sad sad.

geoffky

Happy..I will promise you one thing and one thing only, and that is in the near future you will look back at these posts and you will not recognise the person who wrote them because your anger and grieving process will be over.. Look forward to that day..good luck......And have a stress free xmas..

happy_witch

geoffky wrote: »

Happy..I will promise you one thing and one thing only, and that is in the near future you will look back at these posts and you will not recognise the person who wrote them because your anger and grieving process will be over.. Look forward to that day..good luck......And have a stress free xmas..

Thank you so very much - I wonder how I will cope when it is all over such as the house sold and we are divorced and we go our separate ways - he has been a HUGE part of my life for more than 10 years and the thought of him not even being my friend makes me feel sick. He says he wants to go his own way and have me out of his life. Life has been miserable for several years, but I do care that he doesn't want me any part of his life. That really hurts. Thank you for your answer x

marisco_2

How to put this. People who mistreat us often leave us feeling as if we cant go on without them. Such is the intense impact of being round them, of walking on eggshells so as not to anger them and of focusing on them, their life and feelings.

When you walk away from that, it sends you reeling and not knowing how to focus on you and your future. At first you dont know how to not have them in your life. Trust me that feeling soon changes. As you relax and regain some of your confidence and self esteem, looking toward your future and what you want from it becomes a pleasure rather than a painful, worrying experience.

happy_witch

marisco wrote: »

How to put this. People who mistreat us often leave us feeling as if we cant go on without them. Such is the intense impact of being round them, of walking on eggshells so as not to anger them and of focusing on them, their life and feelings.

When you walk away from that, it sends you reeling and not knowing how to focus on you and your future. At first you dont know how to not have them in your life. Trust me that feeling soon changes. As you relax and regain some of your confidence and self esteem, looking toward your future and what you want from it becomes a pleasure rather than a painful, worrying experience.

Thank you very much, somehow I think you are right........with best wishes xx

philb120

Have to echo everyone. I am going through a divorce at the moment and feeling in such limbo. My ex has moved on and I just feel empty and lost. All I can do is accept that there will be good days and bad days and take each day as it comes. Today is a bad day but with everyone's support I don't feel as lost as may have done without it.
Hugs to you x x x

happy_witch

philb120 wrote: »

Have to echo everyone. I am going through a divorce at the moment and feeling in such limbo. My ex has moved on and I just feel empty and lost. All I can do is accept that there will be good days and bad days and take each day as it comes. Today is a bad day but with everyone's support I don't feel as lost as may have done without it.
Hugs to you x x x

Its very very painful........honestly I can understand how people decide life is too difficult and want out, however as you say good days and bad days! Best of luck x

Missterious

You wouldn't be the last person i'd want to be around - trust me!
when i had a very hairy break up with my ex, my friends didn't toally understand how devestating it felt, i felt i had let myself down, that i had let my family down and my friend's answer and also my mother's answer to all this was 'well at least it's all over now'. my ex had become abusive, i had moved to bournemouth to be with him, leaving my friends and family (whom i'm incredibly close to) i had nowhere to go when he started getting angry, he would throw chairs at me, punch walls, break things, it was a very scary time, and i was only 19.
To this day people still don't let me talk about it, they cut me off, i needed to get it off my chest. So i know how it feels to need to talk and if you need someone then there's 2 of us offering our help, don't be afraid to take it. PM me also if you'd like to meet up.
take care x

FBaby

People move on differently. Some find it easier to cut the other person for good whilst others find it easier to move on gradually.

I don't do cutting off for good well, and I think that's typical of women. I have always wanted to stay in touch with my exes, remain friends etc...

Most men though I think are more comfortable with the moving on for good, face the pain of the loss and then come out of the end of it fresh.

In the end, I think it is better to do it the acute way, it is more painful, but doesn't last as long. It's hard to imagine a life without someone who you've shared so much with, and loved intensively, but once you've moved on, it is amazing how you can look at that person and feel nothing of what you've felt before. They become a thing of the past, sometimes with fond memories, sometimes not, but the intensity becomes sureal and you wonder how you've ever felt this way.

You'll get there happy witch, remember that most people have gone through this heartbreak, and they do come out of it and move on, and even when they say they will never go that route again, they do!

happy_witch

FBaby wrote: »

People move on differently. Some find it easier to cut the other person for good whilst others find it easier to move on gradually.

I don't do cutting off for good well, and I think that's typical of women. I have always wanted to stay in touch with my exes, remain friends etc...

Most men though I think are more comfortable with the moving on for good, face the pain of the loss and then come out of the end of it fresh.

In the end, I think it is better to do it the acute way, it is more painful, but doesn't last as long. It's hard to imagine a life without someone who you've shared so much with, and loved intensively, but once you've moved on, it is amazing how you can look at that person and feel nothing of what you've felt before. They become a thing of the past, sometimes with fond memories, sometimes not, but the intensity becomes sureal and you wonder how you've ever felt this way.

You'll get there happy witch, remember that most people have gone through this heartbreak, and they do come out of it and move on, and even when they say they will never go that route again, they do!

Ok so this is what happened today. Just about to sit down for Christmas lunch today and someone I know told my sister in law that she and my husband are now a couple. No wonder he wants a divorce. I threw up and didn't have lunch. I can hardly cope with the separation now it is confirmed he has replaced me. I am totally and utterly bereft and have got through today on auto pilot. I can't say I have experienced something so painful in my life. Thanks for your reply. Xx

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

happy_witch wrote: »

Ok so this is what happened today. Just about to sit down for Christmas lunch today and someone I know told my sister in law that she and my husband are now a couple. No wonder he wants a divorce. I threw up and didn't have lunch. I can hardly cope with the separation now it is confirmed he has replaced me. I am totally and utterly bereft and have got through today on auto pilot. I can't say I have experienced something so painful in my life. Thanks for your reply. Xx

It isn't a pleasant thing to think - but that means she'll be the one to be scared of him now.


You don't have to be scared anymore.