Invitation etiquette?

krlyr

Pollycat wrote: »

Yes, but did you ask your invited guests to pay for their own food?

I'm sure they're old enough and big enough to say no if they don't want to go. The price isn't being questioned as far as I know (maybe OP has a problem with it and that's why it was mentioned, but they were just asking for input on the girl situation)

Joons

It's his b/d so his call, it's not his g/f so who cares, I wudn't make it an issue, I wud, however have an issue with the 150 price tag!

Pollycat

krlyr wrote: »

I'm sure they're old enough and big enough to say no if they don't want to go. The price isn't being questioned as far as I know (maybe OP has a problem with it and that's why it was mentioned, but they were just asking for input on the girl situation)

Sure, but the point I was making was that saying 'my day, my decision' about invited guests who are not paying for a meal is not the same as inviting people and asking them to pay for their own meal - imho, of course.

balletshoes

sharrison778 wrote: »

Just wondering what people think of this.

A good friend of mine is having a birthday dinner at a restaurant in a few weeks. Its a fairly posh restaurant and it'll cost about 150 per person. Guests are paying for themselves.

My friend is inviting his friends but not their partners - mostly because he doesnt like some of his friends girlfriends.

However...

A few weeks ago my friend (a guy) met another friend of mine (girl) through me and he's now got a bit of a crush. So he's invited her.

There's a little part of me that is aggrieved by this. I have to tell my partner that he isnt invited but someone the birthday boy has met once is! Given we are all paying for ourselves, I'd like to have my partner there too. It wouldnt leave the birthdat boy out of pocket at all.

I know its his bday so he can do what he want and I dont intend to make any fuss but I am curious to hear how others would feel in thie same situation?

dead simple for me - the birthday boy can invite who he likes, its his birthday. The rest of you have been told no partners, so you don't get to bring a partner. End of story. I wouldn't be put out at all by it. Enjoy the meal .

ilikewatch

Pollycat wrote: »

Yes, but did you ask your invited guests to pay for their own food?

No, though I think that's an entirely separate issue. Being asked to pay to attend someone else's birthday meal is actually one of my pet hates and I would always decline such an invitation.

krlyr

Pollycat wrote: »

Sure, but the point I was making was that saying 'my day, my decision' about invited guests who are not paying for a meal is not the same as inviting people and asking them to pay for their own meal - imho, of course.

I think "my day, my decision" in terms of invitiations is perfectly applicable in both situations. "My money, my decision" would be where the invited guests stand in terms of accepting the invite or not.

JimmyTheWig

I'd certainly be put out if I was invited to celebrate a friend's birthday without my wife being invited. As would she! But it is up to the birthday boy, at the end of the day.
I wouldn't want to go without her, though, and would probably decline the invitation.
That's for an evening out with a reasonable price-tag. Given the £150 cost, there is no way I'd go out and spend that money and leave my wife at home.

I'm not really sure where him inviting this other girl comes in to it. I guess it shows that it's not just "a group of close mates who all go back years".

aileth

I know if I invited my friends to my birthday dinner and asked them to cough up £150 each, I'd end up sat at the restaurant alone.

onlyroz

It's entirely up to him who he invites to his meal, just as it's entirely up to the guests whether to accept or not. The decision to accept might be based on the cost, or other factors that the host stipulates. E.g. he could have said "don't come unless you dress up as a penguin" or "don't come unless you can speak Japanese all night" - and again it is your choice whether the requirements are acceptable.

Kildare

If its a case of everyone comes without partners (just friends together) then I think that's fine - assuming you are all friends which each other? E.g. old work / school friends. If its a case of he's invited a jumble of friends he knows from different places who don't really know each other and you are expected to come without partners then that's a bit wierd.

As for paying when you are invited to someone's birthday meal that's usually how it works with the people I know - unless they are throwing a party the general invite is along the lines of "I'm going out for a meal for my birthday, it'll cost us about XX each - would you like to come?" Then you can just say if you don't wish to.