Invitation etiquette?

Fosterdog

I think £150 is a ridiculous amount to spend on a meal but can understand that if you are all happy to pay that then it's no big deal, although especially at this time of year when people have xmas to buy for it's a lot of money.

I wouldn't mind or be offended if just me or OH were invited to an event and the other not, we would make the final decision on whether we choose to go or not.

I'm more shocked that he's met this girl once and now want's her to pay £150 to have a meal with a stranger. Not so bad if she's interested in him too but if she's not she'd have him flirting with her. Maybe he should man up a bit and just ask her out if he likes her and not invite her to be paraded in front of his friends. (I'm just assuming you are the only one she knows from the group, if she knows everyone except the birthday boy then not so bad)

Pollycat

sharrison778 wrote: »

Sorry if I wasnt clear. She's not his girlfriend. They have met once. He's interested but hasnt asked her out or anything like that. And he wasnt offering to pay for her meal.

So he's invited this girl who he fancies but is expecting her to stump up £150 for a meal?

What a catch he sounds!

I'm not hard up but if someone (regardless of how good a friend they were) invited me for a meal at £150 per head and said my partner wasn't invited, they'd get a 'have a nice time, tell me about it next time we meet' response and me and OH would go off for a nice meal 'a deux' - for probably less than £150.

j.e.j.

If it's £150 per person perhaps it's just as well the two of you weren't invited. £300 for an evening out would be a bit steep!

I think OP has said the reason the wives/girlfriends weren't invited was because the birthday boy doesn't like a lot of them, which I suppose is fair enough. I can see why someone wouldn't choose to spend their 'special day' with people they don't actually like or get on with!

I can't see a problem with him inviting this woman he fancies, tbh. It's not like he's choosing her over your OH, I think those are two separate things.

CH27

He can invite who he wants.
Equally you can decide if you want to go & spend £150 on a meal.

peachyprice

sharrison778 wrote: »

Sorry if I wasnt clear. She's not his girlfriend. They have met once. He's interested but hasnt asked her out or anything like that. And he wasnt offering to pay for her meal.

So he's not inviting her as a partner/girlfriend, he's inviting her 'as a friend', same as he's inviting you 'as a friend' and everyone else 'as a friend'. TBH, it's his birthday, he can invite who he wants.

While I don't think there's anything wrong at all with inviting friends to a meal and everyone paying for themselves, I have to say you move in completely different circles to most if you think £150 for a meal for a friends birthday is acceptable! And you would be prepared to pay £300 if your partner was invited, wow!

sassyblue

Sorry l don't see a problem, it's his birthday he can ask who he wants.

Loving the posters having trouble with the amount involved which isn't part of the issue.

Pollycat

sassyblue wrote: »

Loving the posters having trouble with the amount involved which isn't part of the issue.

It's a very rare thread on MSE that sticks rigidly to the point (or issue).

krlyr

I don't get offended if OH's friends invite him out and not me. I wouldn't be offended either if they didn't invite me and then invited another girl. They're not my friends (we get on, but they're still OH's friends) so why would I take it personally?

Perhaps if he'd invited x, y and z and their girlfriends, and said a, b and c's girlfriends couldn't come, then you're treading on offensive territory, but this female is no one's partner so he's not picking and choosing who'd girlfriends can come, he's just inviting someone he fancies. Would it bother you less, OP, if she wasn't a friend of yours and he just invited along a female (that you didn't know of) he'd met elsewhere? Or if he'd met a male friend of yours, got along on a friendly level and decided to invite him along to the party to establish a friendship?

ilikewatch

I think it's perfectly reasonable for the organiser to invite whoever he wants. I got married earlier this year, and the only people invited to the reception were those who I wanted to attend - in some cases that might have been one half of a couple, or a couple but not their children. My day, my decision.

Pollycat

ilikewatch wrote: »

I think it's perfectly reasonable for the organiser to invite whoever he wants. I got married earlier this year, and the only people invited to the reception were those who I wanted to attend - in some cases that might have been one half of a couple, or a couple but not their children. My day, my decision.

Yes, but did you ask your invited guests to pay for their own food?