Invitation etiquette?

JimmyTheWig

Brighton_belle wrote: »

MSE is about getting value for money not about spending as little as possible though Victory. It could be considered very MSE if for example they negotiated a deal at Claridges to reduce the cost fror £200 per head to £150 if over 20 people attended.
I can quite see how top quality chef/food/wine/location etc could cost that much.

I agree that it is about getting value for money, but I disagree with how you are applying that here.
Lets say branded Jaffa Cakes cost 80p while Value jaffa cakes cost 30p. The person buying them has no preference in terms of taste, nutrition, etc. If the branded ones are on offer this week at 50p, does that make them good value? No it doesn't, because they are still more expensive than the Value ones.

The question is, is a meal for £150 (haggled down from £200, say) going to be any better than a meal for, say, £60? I doubt that it would be consistently better, so I think it is a waste of money.

If someone is for example earning £100,000 a year working 45 hr week, then why not spend their money how they choose: all helps the circulation of cash:D

Yes, it all needs spending in the end. But that doesn't mean you can't still apply the MSE principles. By getting the equivalent stuff for less money, this person could cut down their hours, retire earlier, give more money to causes or people that were important to them or even, if possible, buy more stuff for themselves. All without, if you follow MSE's precise philosophy, missing out on anything.

krlyr

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

All without, if you follow MSE's precise philosophy, missing out on anything.

Except a night out with their friend. You can't put a price on friendship.
To use your Jaffa Cake scenario. Friend has invited you over and all they've asked is that you bring some Jaffa Cakes on your way over. They have a preference for branded Jaffa Cakes. Maybe they don't eat unbranded, or maybe they just have a real hankering for branded Jaffa Cakes that day. Either way, they don't want unbranded ones.
So you can choose to buy branded Jaffa Cakes for 50p and enjoy the company of your friend, or you can stay at home, get your own pack of 30p Jaffa Cakes and stay in with your OH. You've saved some money, but you miss out on a fun night with your friend.

Maybe said friend needs a lesson in enjoying alternative Jaffa Cakes, but if it's their choice, OP has to go along with it or pass, it wouldn't really be very polite to dictate what Jaffa Cakes said friend goes for.

(and now I really fancy a pack of Jaffa Cakes!)

Pollycat

How different a direction this thread might have taken if the OP hadn't mentioned the fact that the meal (plus wine included as an afterthought) was costing £150 per person. :cool:

Jomo

I have no issues with not the not inviting partners thing, we are all individuals at the end of the day. Although saying you aren't inviting 'other halfs', because you don't like them, I find a bit rude and there probably wasn't any need for that.

Re controling numbers, the £150 price tag would do that within certain circles, but not all obviously...

It's his birthday and he can do what he wants to!

JimmyTheWig

krlyr wrote: »

Except a night out with their friend. You can't put a price on friendship.

That's a slightly different angle. If the choice is a £60 meal on your own or a £150 meal with your friend, and there is no difference in quality, etc, of the meals then the question becomes is spending the time with your friend worth £90.
And that depends on how much spare money you have and what you'd do with that £90 otherwise.

But the point still stands that spending £150 on a meal that is no better than a £60 meal isn't MSE.
I guess it would be more accurate to say that it isn't very MSE of the friend to suggest it, and it isn't very MSE of the OP not to suggest to the friend that they all go somewhere else.

(and now I really fancy a pack of Jaffa Cakes!)

Sorry!

pulliptears

Its not very MSE to spend £200 on a Radley handbag rather than £20 on one from the market but I do it. Why? Because I can afford to and it's something I like.

MSE isn't just for those on the breadline, I get sick of pointing that out. You can't possibly compare the single Mum who comes here for help stretching out her meagre income with the business owner who comes here looking for a better deal on his mortgage, and to be frank its completely ridiculous to do so.

Are people really saying that the businessman isn't entitled to save money because he's wealthy? Because 'not very MSE' certainly implies that. If he can afford the £150 meal and prefers it, the staff, the service and the food to the £60 meal then why shouldn't he go to his restaurant of choice?

People save money in different ways. The money I saved on my home, car and buildings insurance this year through MSE went some way towards a Barbour coat so that was very MSE for me, yet some would baulk at a £200 coat. I saved on a necessity and with it bought a luxury.

At the end of the day people will spend their hard earned money how they wish and it's nobodies business but their own. If they managed to save a few quid on this site along the way then all the better.

JimmyTheWig

pulliptears wrote: »

Its not very MSE to spend £200 on a Radley handbag rather than £20 on one from the market but I do it. Why? Because I can afford to and it's something I like.
...
Are people really saying that the businessman isn't entitled to save money because he's wealthy? Because 'not very MSE' certainly implies that. If he can afford the £150 meal and prefers it, the staff, the service and the food to the £60 meal then why shouldn't he go to his restaurant of choice?

I agree with you. If you think I don't then you have mis-read me.

If you aren't skint then spending £200 on the bag that you want is perfectly MSE - as long as you will use it, it is worth it and you have checked if it is cheaper elsewhere.
In fact, spending £20 on a bag that you don't want isn't very MSE!
If you are getting a better bag for your £200 than you would for £20 then it may well be worth it. It doesn't have to be "10 times" better to make it worth it. It could be a tiny bit better when for you £180 is peanuts and so it is worth spending the extra to get the tiny bit better. Or it could be massively better but the £180 extra would use up your annual luxuries budget and so it's still not worth it.

I accept that a £60 meal may often be better than a £20 meal. In which case if you can afford it and think the extra £40 is worth it then it is perfectly MSE to go for the £60 meal rather than the £20 meal. [On my limited budget I wouldn't, but I can imagine that others would and that is fine.]
But I don't accept that above that there is much they can do to make the meal better. Obviously there _might_ be things about the expensive restaurant that you like - e.g. you like the music they play in there - but I doubt that they would be _because_ it is a more expensive restaurant.
So my point is that I doubt the £150 restaurant is any better than a £60 restaurant. In which case it fails the MSE mantra as the extra £90 isn't worth it because you're not getting _anything_ for the extra £90.

http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2010/10/12/money-mantras-never-leave-home-without-them/

pulliptears

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

So my point is that I doubt the £150 restaurant is any better than a £60 restaurant. In which case it fails the MSE mantra as the extra £90 isn't worth it because you're not getting _anything_ for the extra £90.

http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2010/10/12/money-mantras-never-leave-home-without-them/

The meal might be in the restaurant of a celebrity chef, you aren't just paying for the food, you are paying for the service, the environment and to some extent the name. There may be long waiting lists etc

Whilst you personally feel you aren't getting anything for the extra £90 other people may feel that actually, it is worth that for a better quality wine, for the better environment or even for the name of the Chef.

I don't think anyone can ever say 'its not worth that' because what is worth hundreds to one person may be worthless to another.

It is, as I said before, down to personal choice.

Person_one

Jomo wrote: »

It's his birthday and he can do what he wants to!

Is that true?

Darn, it was my birthday last week, I've missed an opportunity to get away with murder!

JimmyTheWig

pulliptears wrote: »

Whilst you personally feel you aren't getting anything for the extra £90 other people may feel that actually, it is worth that

Fair enough. And in my last post, at least, I did say "I _doubt_ the £150 restaurant is any better".
I can't personally see it, myself, to the extent that I think those who think it is better are probably wrong.

But I do accept that everyone is different and there may be reasons out there that I haven't considered.