Invitation etiquette?

Brighton_belle

victory wrote: »

£150 for one meal?!! Not at all MSE wow there is no way I would pay that surely it is £15 not £150 amazing:eek:

MSE is about getting value for money not about spending as little as possible though Victory. It could be considered very MSE if for example they negotiated a deal at Claridges to reduce the cost fror £200 per head to £150 if over 20 people attended.
I can quite see how top quality chef/food/wine/location etc could cost that much.
If someone is for example earning £100,000 a year working 45 hr week, then why not spend their money how they choose: all helps the circulation of cash:D

Nicki

Its kind of odd that the OP describes the restaurant as only "fairly posh" but then goes on to say that the price of the set menu is £150. This is way more than most decent restaurants charge for just the food element.

In fact, the only place I could find which is around this figure is the Fat Duck in Bray which is a 2 michelin starred restaurant and safely in the extremely posh, A list celeb or book 6 months in advance for an off peak table category...

Having said that I would love to eat there, having watched Masterchef recently and seen their fab Mad Hatters Tea Party concoction which looked completely amazing. But would prefer it with my OH and not with a group of random strangers who only have in common that they are friends of a friend.

lostinrates

There is more than one restaurant where meals cost that much (and more) and some of them are worth it for foodies

Op, I would not go, not because of the money or the experience, but because it's something I would want to share with my dh as part of the larger party. Our time together is fairly limited and these sort of things are more enjoyable to be when he is there. He would encourage me to go, he eats in super places more often than I as a work perk, but I would prefer bread and cheese with him and my friend.

I know most of our friends understand this and would accept my refusal and hope that my firend had an amazing time as not a rejection of them.

Nicki

lostinrates wrote: »

There is more than one restaurant where meals cost that much (and more) and some of them are worth it for foodies

There really aren't that many (OH also has a job which means we get to eat out in some high end places with clients) and none that I am aware of that fall into the merely "fairly posh" category.

For example The Waterside Inn, The Ivy, Nobu, Bibendum, Savoy, any of the Ramsays or Olivers are all much less than that before you put drinks on the menu

So, my guess is that the reference to £150 in the OP may well have been a typo or included all the expenses of the evening not just the set menu price (eg projected drinking, travel, share of the birthday boy's meal, etc)

sharrison778

Thanks for all the comments!:T

I'll try to address a couple of questions raised.

1. Yes, I did mean 150, not 15. It's a lot but my partner and I do earn very good money and its not that unusual for us to spend that on a meal. And the 150 includes drinks.

2. I dont think earning good money means I dont belong on a money saving forum. I may splurge on nice restaurants and ncie clothes but we manage our money closely and if I can find a bargain, I will take it!

3. I've since found out some partners are invited (the ones he knows well) and partners he doesnt know so well arent.

Please understand I'm not losing sleep over this. I was just curious to gauge 'community' attitudes. I've always been rather interested in etiquette so I thought I'd take a straw poll on here. Perhaps I should have left the amount of money out of my original post. I'll bear that in mind next time.

mgdavid

pulliptears wrote: »

It's a very rare thread where people don't simply have to tell you how much its acceptable to spend on certain things.
**I give my kids £200 for Christmas** Ohh thats FAR too much! I give mine a box!
**I bought a handbag for £150** WHO spends that on a bag? They are a fiver in the market
**£150 a head birthday meal** etc etc
Nowhere on our profiles does it detail our incomes, outgoings, debts etc. Nowhere when you sign up to this site does it stipulate you have to be on the breadline to use it.
At some point people might just keep their noses out and accept that some people can afford to buy/do things others cant and what is an unacceptable amount for one person isn't for another.
OP, have a fabulous meal regardless.
x

Ah but if the cost is irrelevant then why mention it?
As it WAS mentioned,. then it becomes relevant...

EDIT - not aimed at the OP, I posted this before reading post #56...

Welshwoofs

I've no issue about 'partnerless' invites where it's not a case of mutual friends and I also see no issue with £150 a head....that's not actually extortionate when the op has said it includes wine.

Gavin83

I don't think £150 is unreasonable for food, I spent that when I went to the Fat Duck. However it's all relative. I earn a good enough wage to support such treats and there are other things people spend money on that I wouldn't dream of.

krlyr

Nicki wrote: »

There really aren't that many (OH also has a job which means we get to eat out in some high end places with clients) and none that I am aware of that fall into the merely "fairly posh" category.

"Fairly" could describe a lot of levels depending on your view. I might say my work do was held somewhere "fairly" posh, meaning "It's very posh but I feel a bit uncomfortable bragging about it because I know half the people I'm talking to don't even get a Christmas do" or "It's posh, but not as posh as the last place which was twice the price" or "It's fairly posh (because I'm not going to go into further detail so what does it really matter as long as I've given the general gist that it's posher than a hall in the local community centre)"

Welshwoofs

krlyr wrote: »

"Fairly" could describe a lot of levels depending on your view. I might say my work do was held somewhere "fairly" posh, meaning "It's very posh but I feel a bit uncomfortable bragging about it because I know half the people I'm talking to don't even get a Christmas do" or "It's posh, but not as posh as the last place which was twice the price" or "It's fairly posh (because I'm not going to go into further detail so what does it really matter as long as I've given the general gist that it's posher than a hall in the local community centre)"

It's always interesting to hear people's perspectives on this. To me, the epithet 'posh' when applied to a restaurant is more to do with the formality of the front of house and the expected dress code than it is to do with the price.