Invitation etiquette?

Jomo

Person_one wrote: »

Is that true?

Darn, it was my birthday last week, I've missed an opportunity to get away with murder!

Well if that is your interpretation of my comment...feel free to have a belated birthday murder frenzy!!

Gavin83

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

The question is, is a meal for £150 (haggled down from £200, say) going to be any better than a meal for, say, £60? I doubt that it would be consistently better, so I think it is a waste of money.

I disagree, in the restaurant world you generally very much get what you pay for. You could get a situation where a £20 restaurant is better than a £40 restaurant but once you get into the restaurants charging £100+ there is generally a reason they have to justify the high price tag. The best restaurant I've ever been to is the most expensive, the second best is the second most expensive, there is definately a pattern. Is the increase in quality worth the extra? I guess that is down to personal opinion but I doubt very much someone would prefer the food in their local £40 restaurant to say for example, the Fat Duck.

Is spending that much on a friends birthday worth it? If you can afford it and would have gone there anyway you may as well link it in with the friends birthday. If it's going to ruin you financially then its better to politely decline.

Sambucus_Nigra

pulliptears wrote: »

Its not very MSE to spend £200 on a Radley handbag rather than £20 on one from the market but I do it. Why? Because I can afford to and it's something I like.

Yes, but you don't insist that your friends have to also spend £200 on a Radley Handbag to hang out with you and celebrate your birthday.

Which is the difference.

pulliptears

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Yes, but you don't insist that your friends have to also spend £200 on a Radley Handbag to hang out with you and celebrate your birthday.

Which is the difference.

I wasn't relating my comments to OP's situation, more to the dozens of comments about the cost of the meal and how it wasn't very MSE.

As for OP's situation though, again knowing nothing about her, or her social group it's not something I feel has anything to do with us. OP obviously has a decent amount of disposable income and I would assume her friends have the same. Perhaps as a group this is the norm, who knows?

I personally wouldn't expect my friends to book a restaurant that was £150 a head, not because I feel that is expensive but because as a group we all have much less of a disposable income. If I was a rather wealthy person though with wealthy friends its not something I'd necessarily think twice about and could be as normal to them as a meal in the harvester with mates is to me.

sharrison778

pulliptears wrote: »

As for OP's situation though, again knowing nothing about her, or her social group it's not something I feel has anything to do with us. OP obviously has a decent amount of disposable income and I would assume her friends have the same. Perhaps as a group this is the norm, who knows?

Spot on. My friends and I are in your late 20's/early 30's and have all been fortunate enough to have success in your chosen careers. I've never asked what they earn but I have no doublt we'd all be earning over 100k.

So 150 per person isnt a problem for me.

I thought it was a bit different in relation to my friend given she's only met the birthday boy once.

Anyway, if anyone is interested in the outcome. I messaged my (female) friend in relation to the invite saying I hope she doesnt feel pressured to come, that it would be lovely to have her there but dont worry about offending anyone if she doesnt want to go. She responded that if it was just birthday drinks, she would have been fine to come but going to a sit down dinner with a whole group of people she doesnt really know (except me) was a bit full on (not in money terms, just in general), so she's declined.

Problem solved!

Lunar_Eclipse

sharrison778 wrote: »

I've never asked what they earn but I have no doublt we'd all be earning over 100k.

So 150 per person isnt a problem for me.

Glad you got it sorted. I'm another that thinks it's poor etiquette to invite people without partners, although I agree it's preferable for the birthday boy. It's an absolute no-no for weddings though.

In terms of the meal cost, for those who can afford it, it's about priorities, not necessarily about whether it's a problem or not. We earnt a similar level of income at that age, prior to having kids, but would never have chosen to spend that on a restaurant meal. Bizarrely I have done it a couple of times recently, on a much tighter budget, for very special occasions. It was far more meaningful and memorable than the carefree splurging of my younger days. I honestly can't believe I used to waste so much time shopping too!:D

Having said all that, I didn't think it was outrageously expensive when you posted it, because I assumed it included drinks and if the night out is in London, a pre dinner drink would be in the region of £10-15.

sharnad

Etiquette wise he birthday boy had done nothing wrong it's his birthday he gets to decide who goes

sharnad

Can the girl he likes not meet you for a drink afterwards

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

There has to be a cheaper way of him getting a birthday BJ.

balletshoes

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

There has to be a cheaper way of him getting a birthday BJ.

:rotfl::rotfl: the birthday boy wasn't even paying for the girl he liked to come, she was invited but she had to pay for her own meal :rotfl:.