Lunch with Colleagues - don't know what to do

gixer750

this is ur ideal time to stitch the !!!!!, actually call the police on her, they will take statements and arrest her, she will be so unpopular in the office no-one will ever believe her again, or even get the sack......volia

abailey54

Hi, I've read most but not all of this thread, so sorry if I'm repeating what anyone else might have said.

My take on it is that you think thingy is not a nice person and so when you see her do something out of the ordinary, it is easy to assume that she has bad intentions. It may be that she just shoved the cash in her purse, embarrassed that she didn't think to bring cash like everyone else (I've been in this position and feel like a complete idiot) and paid no thought to tips - if you (or someone who doesn't have a history with her) were to say to her that they went back to grab something from the restaurant and the manager questioned why they didn't leave a tip, and did they remember to take the tip out of the cash on the table - they can either say that they did and will go back and make sure they get it, or that they didn't, they did pay it. Only then can you know if they were trying to fleece you all for your cash or made an honest mistake like we all do

I find it odd that a manager of a restaurant would question your tip giving - that would put me off returning to a restaurant personally, it's quite unprofessional. I think tips are left at your own discretion and are to the person who served you to reward them for their service - nothing to do with their boss (unless things have changed since I worked in the industry, which is quite possible, it was years ago)

cheepskate_2

On whether she paid a tip or not.

Thingy, said she had no money so was going to cash machhine to get the £20 .
She paid £116 by card.(I find this extremely strange as she was not the organizer and decided to pay by card without asking everyone) So where did the tip come from as she had no cash.?
OP says thingy , picked up the money and stuffed it in her bag. Thingy left the restaurant at the same time.
Thingy would have knew there were tips as OP says it was discussed at the table.

Maybe she has forgotten to pull the tip from the money, but still find it weird she went to get cash, but decided to pay the bill instead, without then coming back and confirming what amount she had paid,as most people would

On the flip side,,,I find the whole scarf, coffee story weird

I look forward to the update

bestpud

I don't believe the scarf story OP - it just sounds too convenient.

You have a problem with this particular colleague so you will be more aware of her actions than most and a party of 10 people isn't so big that you couldn't see what was happening.

I think you spotted what she had done and it bugged you so much you went back to the restaurant to check it out.

Now you want to out her and you don't want it done in a manner that will allow her to claim it was an error.

It is possible she did it deliberately but it's also possible she thought the tip had already been separated when she returned to the table.

I agree it should be dealt with, mistake or not, I just don't believe you were unaware of it or that you forgot your scarf and had a chance encounter with the restaurant manager.

skintchick

I think you're all being rather hard on the OP.

lostinrates

skintchick wrote: »

I think you're all being rather hard on the OP.

Me too.

What seems especially odd is to lambast op for Jumping to a conclusion from her interpretation of the situation and people and no real evidence, but in doing so.....draw a conclusion about op from the interpretation of the situation as laid out here and no real evidence!


Fwiw, relationships with restaurants depend tremendously. In the area my father is from he is very well known and respected for the work he has done for the community and business over the years. When I was single and pulled out my card to pay, often a manager would ask if I knew 'mr maiden name' and I would say , yeah, he is my father, and they would bring my party a free drink or sometimes say they could not take money from me if I were eating alone or just with one other person. I have no doubt that in an area where you use a restaurant weekly and build up a relationship with the manager and staff in the way my dad does, in the way I try to do, a manager might well make the enquiry....if they thought the new waiter might have filched it they would not say so and the question might have been asked in just this way, but also, they would now that we tip fairly and consistantly, and to not tip would 'mean somehing'.

If you build relationships with your restaurant ers and local shops your feed back becomes important to the good ones, they seek your counsel when things don't seem to please you, they want to provide the service and keep loyal customers with whom relations are friendly.

PinkLipgloss

skintchick wrote: »

I think you're all being rather hard on the OP.

I agree.

I really do not think it is far fetched to have forgotten a scarf and returned to retrieve it.

I also think the chat with the manager sounds genuine. If the OP was a stranger to the Manager then it would be unusual!

However, the OP seems to be a regular at this particular family run restaurant. Many years ago I worked in a family run restaurant (my uncles) part time whilst I was at uni. We knew ALL of our regulars and were on casual chatting terms with them - we often knew about their families/jobs/colleagues etc.

I suspect the Manager has had one (or both) of the following 2 thought processes:

(a) that Thingie done his staff out of a tip
(b) that his new staff member needed further training or managed to somehow cause offence (resulting in no tip).

Remember that the manager KNOWS the OP and will be aware that her table regularly tips. He simply wanted to have a chat to ascertain what happened. He is no doubt on casual chatting terms with her already. I don't find that unprofessional or strange.

lika_86

Proposed solution:

Mention the scarf story to Thingy, say that the manager was concerned about the new employee's performance and your lack of tip.

Say to her that you were surprised, and that you had left a decent tip, the meal came to £[whatever] and you all left £[whatever] as a tip.

Just say that you're concerned that the tip you all left has just been taken by the waitress who may have been unaware of the policy that it's shared and that before going back to the manager, you wanted to definitely double check that Thingy remembered to give them the tip when she paid.

Don't be confrontational, give her a way to get out of this without losing face if this is her fault.

It could be an innocent mistake and accusing her of things won't solve anything.

bestpud

skintchick wrote: »

I think you're all being rather hard on the OP.

I don't think I was being hard on the OP.

I can see it from both sides and agree it needs sorting. I just don't believe the scarf story.

kittybangbang

Wow, that's terrible! It could just be a mistake, maybe she's terrible at maths! But either way, this needs to be sorted!

Have an unbiased word with another trusted colleague, saying that you think there was a mistake at the restaurant, that the money doesn't add up. Then approach Thingy (again humbly along the line of 'there's been a mistake').

Just say that it turns out that she hasn't paid enough, show her the receipt and the maths. It'll be there in black and white, no way she can deny it. Even if she says she didn't realise and there's no repercussion, at least the cheeky cow will still have to pay for her meal and give the waitress her tip!

There's no way you should stand for it! It's your/your colleagues hard earned cash, why should she have a free ride!? Don't let it go just cos you're scared she'll cry bully, she's obviously the type of person who needs to be taught a lesson, and this one is plain to see. You have evidence.