Lunch with Colleagues - don't know what to do

warehouse

circuit wrote: »

Now this poor woman

Trust me, she won't be poor :rotfl:.

When people behave like this regarding money, whether it be in a restaurant situation, secret santa, lottery syndicate etc, it's simply a way of identifying the people in the office to stay the **** away from in all future situations, especially social.

To let the original "thingy" come to the meal after the previous 2 indiscretions was the issue, she shouldn't have been anywhere near that group, and watched like a hawk when she was. That way her little scam would have been stopped as it happened.

alittlemadam

You really need to confront THINGY whether you do it all together or on your own. However just make sure if you do it on your own that you do it within earshot of someone else just in case of any repercussions.

It doesnt matter which way round you look at the situation it is stealing either from you or from the eatery.

There may be a simple explanation but I wouldnt have thought so, however you have to give THINGY a chance to state there case. Its a reminder for next time dont invite them.

Dont tittle tattle behind her back as it makes you just as bad, bring it out in the open.

braindrain

What 'Thingy' did was very wrong but maybe this, and her spitefulness, is because of problems you don't know about - maybe money difficulties? Some people are just plain nasty but some suffer from other issues that appear as 'nastiness' What she did was wrong but if you expose her it will make her life hell at work

I would ask for a meeting with a manager/HR person & her (it's not really a work issue but you need someone neutral there) & explain the situation as you know it & give her chance to respond. This would give her chance to rectify the situation or open up about any problems but I imagine the outcome will be for her to look for another job. Most people couldn't face this type of humiliation to become public

If there are problems then maybe your colleagues and you can support her but if it is plain meaness then I suggest you tell her you won't make it public but you'd expect her to turn down further invitations & pay for her meal & the tip - you all have to work together for now & making a horrible situation worse won't benefit anyone

devil_tez

It may not have been your colleague that stole the money but may have been the waiter/waitress that they paid the money too, they may have not put it on the receipt and pocketed it

krlyr

devil_tez wrote: »

It may not have been your colleague that stole the money but may have been the waiter/waitress that they paid the money too, they may have not put it on the receipt and pocketed it

Wrong order of events for this though - the colleague went to go to a cash machine, apparently changed her mind and went to the till/waitress and paid on her card. At that stage she apparently had no cash - hence the need to go to the cash point.
She then returned to the table and stated that she had settled the whole bill on her card. She picked up all of the cash from the group, put it all in her purse, and left with the group. No cash left on the table as a tip (everyone assumed it had been added to the payment on card presumably), and no exchange of cash with a waitress on leaving.

Sooler

Tough. If someone claimed they’d paid a bill on behalf of a group they should for the purpose of integrity show their receipt when they came back to the able – to prove it was paid and show to the group how much.

Your group opted not to do this.

There’s obviously a nasty attitude in your group anyway at least on your part as your statement hints at exclusion of your colleague from being accepted in your group.

a bit of a “girls lunch” at “our” favourite restaurant. A “colleague” (we'll call her “Thing”y) who “I don't get along” with ”invited herself” along.


Update!

“We have decided that not inviting her in future is the way forward.” … so was she invited or did she invite herself?

“I spoke to my colleague … she is the person in the office that almost everyone else confides in.” Why? ...


“She told me of two stories she knows off involving thingy.” … she can’t keep her mouth shut, dishes the dirt on colleagues. And you broadcast it on the internet. Unprofessional in an office environment. Must be a nasty place to work.


“We have a huge team and we tend to go out in groups of between 6 and 10, she is not really in any group, she tends to do her own thing.” Obviously cliquey, I hate cliques.


:xmassign:

onesixfive

Regardless of what has gone on, this woman has had more cash off the rest of you than you have a receipt for.
I would issue her with a bill for the difference, plus your additional £30 which you paid in embarrassment. Ask her to settle it on/before next payday.
If & when paid, you can decide whether to split the monies between the remaining attendees - lesson learned - or give it to charity this Xmas.
...and don't end up in a bill-share with her again - whether she's invited or not!
This way - the subject can be dropped from all conversations - a line can be drawn under it & and any bad feeling in the office need not stem from this incident.

sassyblue

Why are you all still offering advice when the OP is done and dusted with the issue?

cloudy-day

circuit wrote: »

This thread is a great example of why I hate working in offices.

This woman has had no chance to explain whatsoever, and has been hung out to dry by someone who clearly doesn't like her.

You are obviously watching her, ready to pounce if she f*rts in the wrong direction. I have social anxiety disorder and have been picked on like this at work. It makes life a complete misery.

I'm certainly not condoning theft, but there could be all kinds of issues going on here. If someone does something like this, your only option is to speak to them impartially and privately to understand what happened. You do not go around emailing colleagues or gossiping with people.

Now this poor woman has had her actions scrutinised by millions of people who have just received Martin's mailout. And she is probably going to spend her Christmas holiday dreading going back to work because she doesn't want to bump into you, or deal with you and your mates whispering behind her back and going out for drinks without her.

Maybe she held back the money because she needed to put a fiver in her electric meter? Maybe she would have paid it back if the restaurant mentioned it?

If you didn't have the guts to speak to her privately and get her side of the story, you should have kept your nose out of it, kept your £30 in your wallet and let the restaurant sort it themselves.

Completly disagree. If she 'needs a fiver for the electric meter' then what the hell was she doing going to a restaurent for lunch?

A thief is a thief. There is NO excuse. Ever.

I can not believe that some people on here are siding with the thief in the face of undeniable evidence against her.

The poor lamb has issues and is being bullied - rubbish! She's a thief who has walked away with her work mates cash - and a free lunch!

Personally I would confront her in front of the whole office, and make sure that every single person who worked there knew she was a thief.

This isn't the first time she's done something like this, but by God if I had anything to do with it, it would the last chance she ever had.

Sooler

gibson123 wrote: »

We came to the conclusion that really we can't tackle this without involving management

If you think management would be remotely interested in a private social gathering outside of the workplace you are deluded.

:snow_laug