Lunch with Colleagues - don't know what to do

yvonne13_2

I think most people have story's about people that have done some shocking things whilst out at lunch.
One girl whipped out a calculator saying she's not paying for other people's alcohol as she didn't drink, so I suggested everyone pay for drinks at the bar the next time we go out.
And guess what happened the next time we went out.....she whipped out the blooming calculator again to work out what tip she was going to leave as my suggestion of £2 each was to much for her as there was 5 of us.

Tygermoth

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

That's a point.

OP, I'd hold off giving her the Secret Santa present until you see what she has got for her person. If it is pound shop crap, hand over your £20 present to the poor cow she's just ripped off.

Not the OP - But i am the one with my version of 'thingy' for secret Santa.

That would be a blinkin good idea.

I may take two prezzies. Nice n Naff

Though being its 'secret' im not sure I can find out beforehand. I will be able to tell after (hers are the same cheap chocolate) and by then i will have to have passed my prezzies in for distribution

pimento

wanchai wrote: »

I'm not slating her - I understand her reasoning, but it is very unfair that she should be out so much money.

There has GOT to be a way to resolve this fairly without 'Thingy' claiming bullying. I said that it could be done in such a way that she doesn't lose face. It's just really unfair on gibson. However, I respect her decision.

If I were the friend the OP had confided in, I would arrange a whip round of the others to make sure the OP wasn't out of pocket on her own. It would only be a couple of quid each. They should all share the loss.

LannieDuck

pimento wrote: »

If I were the friend the OP had confided in, I would arrange a whip round of the others to make sure the OP wasn't out of pocket on her own. It would only be a couple of quid each. They should all share the loss.

No-one should have to share the loss. I don't understand what's so difficult about asking Thingy for the excess cash back.

pimento

You think Thingy would fess up and hand over the money? I doubt it. She would then probably moan to her boss about the OP bullying her.

If I were one of the other lunch attenders, I'd happily give a couple of quid so that my friend wasn't massively out of pocket.

fawd1

Generally speaking when I go out with my friends, we divide the meal pretty equally, although we always make sure to remove the wine from the bill for those non drinkers. Usually it works out pretty well. One day I might pay more, but then next time I pay a bit less etc. Anyway, I once went to a birthday party. There were two out of ten of us that drank white wine, so we ordered a bottle between us. Cost about 15 quid. The set menu was 15£ per person. Anyway, the rest were drinking red, and apparently there was a wine connoisseur at the table (he thought he was anyway-think he just ordered the most expensive thing there) who put himself in charge of ordering the red. Bill came which we were told came to £85 per head.:eek: I almost fell off my seat. This guy had obviously been ordering £70-80 bottles of wine. I would've objected but it was a birthday party for one of my best mates, so couldn't say anything, but jeeez, I nearly punched him!

krlyr

Tygermoth wrote: »

Not the OP - But i am the one with my version of 'thingy' for secret Santa.

That would be a blinkin good idea.

I may take two prezzies. Nice n Naff

Though being its 'secret' im not sure I can find out beforehand. I will be able to tell after (hers are the same cheap chocolate) and by then i will have to have passed my prezzies in for distribution

Hand in naff gift. On the offchance she did get a nice gift for her recipient, apologise as you had taped a second gift to the first and it must have fallen off in your handbag - which you can now root around in and produce nice gift.

Nicki

krlyr wrote: »

Hand in naff gift. On the offchance she did get a nice gift for her recipient, apologise as you had taped a second gift to the first and it must have fallen off in your handbag - which you can now root around in and produce nice gift.

Isn't the whole point about a "secret santa" that it is ummm secret?

So if anyone in the office receives a present which in OP's opinion is not up to scratch, it is just going to be assumed that "thingy" bought it, is it? As someone said earlier, thingy is probably someone's wife, mother or daughter and has her side of the story to tell, which might shed a different light. She might not even be the one who bought the naff gift! This proposal is another example of workplace bullying, just like leaving her out of general office outings, and deliberately manoeuvring not to sit beside her if that doesn't work.

Over on the old style board, people post regularly about how they buy up small gifts in sales or handmake items to keep costs down when they have to give gifts such as secret santa, and are lauded for this. Yet if anyone has done this in OP's office it is a character flaw apparently :cool:

Treevo

Nicki wrote: »

Isn't the whole point about a "secret santa" that it is ummm secret?

So if anyone in the office receives a present which in OP's opinion is not up to scratch, it is just going to be assumed that "thingy" bought it, is it? As someone said earlier, thingy is probably someone's wife, mother or daughter and has her side of the story to tell, which might shed a different light. She might not even be the one who bought the naff gift! This proposal is another example of workplace bullying, just like leaving her out of general office outings, and deliberately manoeuvring not to sit beside her if that doesn't work.

Over on the old style board, people post regularly about how they buy up small gifts in sales or handmake items to keep costs down when they have to give gifts such as secret santa, and are lauded for this. Yet if anyone has done this in OP's office it is a character flaw apparently :cool:

In my old office a woman did this. There were only five of us but she wanted to do a secret santa to keep costs down, and then she decided the budget had to be £15 odd when we all preferred a budget of £25. She decided that we must spend the exact amount to the penny because that's part of the fun. It wasn't.

So imagine her horror when she realised that secret santa was given over the Christmas lunch, in full view of everyone. She gave me a jar of 'home-made' jam. Which was amazing considering it was still factory-sealed. With an office-supplied sticker and biro writing on it. And a best before date printed on the lid.

Thingy is a thief - that's all there is to it. I couldn't give a fig if she had a big gas bill and desperately needed the money. She stole from her workmates. She's lucky that she hasn't been arrested because I'd have no hesitation in reporting such conduct to both my managers and the police.

Nicki

Treevo wrote: »

Thingy is a thief - that's all there is to it. I couldn't give a fig if she had a big gas bill and desperately needed the money. She stole from her workmates. She's lucky that she hasn't been arrested because I'd have no hesitation in reporting such conduct to both my managers and the police.

Because someone told the OP that she had a track record of querying the bill?

AFAIK all the OP knows for a FACT (not gossip or speculation) is that thingy paid the bill minus service on her credit card, and that the manager did not see any tip at the end of the meal. Thingy may have pocketed the tip from the cash on the table, or she may have left a cash tip for the waitress which the new waitress chose not to hand in to her boss. If OP wants the truth, then she perhaps should get the police to investigate it, but throwing accusations about thingy round the office without anything more than the barest circumstantial evidence to substantiate them, and then victimising thingy as a result is not fair. On what OP has posted, there would be nowhere nearly enough evidence for the police to even charge thingy with theft much less get a conviction against her, so I am not sure how you can state with such certainty that she is a thief and not simply an unpopular member of staff who has fallen foul of office gossip.