Lunch with Colleagues - don't know what to do

krlyr

lazer wrote: »

TBH I think you are being unfair on the new friend and fiance, they did buy all their drinks at the bar - possibly as they were on a budget and did not want to drink much, and did not want to subsidise others heavy drinking.

Common practice when i am out with my friends is to seperate teh bill into alcohol and food, divide the food among everyone and divide the alcohol among those that drank it.

Why do you think the friend should have paid for your drink?

But they hadn't - "even though they's added their bar drinks to the bill."
Presumably they ordered at the bar but had it added to the table's tab. If anything, their portion of the drinks may well have been subsidised by everyone else at the table, as bottles of wine were probably cheaper by the glass than glasses of individual drinks.

tea_lover

lazer wrote: »

TBH I think you are being unfair on the new friend and fiance, they did buy all their drinks at the bar - possibly as they were on a budget and did not want to drink much, and did not want to subsidise others heavy drinking.

They added the drinks to the bill - which probably meant everyone else had to pay more to cover for them.

Peater

Lazer - "they kicked up a huge stink about having to pay for a share of the wine, even though they's added their bar drinks to the bill."

Sounds like they ended up not paying for their drinks at all.

Getting a bit off topic now, but was out in a group of 4 (2x singles, 1x couple) for some drinks.

I got the first round in, the other single got one in, then the bloke from the couple got one in. Our glasses were empty and had been for a while when and i made a 'ahem' and gestured to my empty glass. The couple said in almost perfect unison "but 'we' bought the last one."

I laughed in their face and explained that's not how it works in civilized society. They relented and got the next round in. Haven't seen them since. Oops.

Meadows

gibson123 wrote: »

Anyway we had a good talk about this. We came to the conclusion that really we can't tackle this without involving management and we cannot let everyone else know without creating a lot of bad feeling in the team. We also agreed it would be a stressful situation for me, that it isn't up to me to punish her or try to see the error of her ways and really isn't worth the hassle.

We have decided that not inviting her in future is the way forward. If she complains, we feel we have a reasonable case for not including her. We have a huge team and we tend to go out in groups of between 6 and 10, she is not really in any group, she tends to do her own thing.

So she wins yet again another free meal because no one will speak to her (can be done aside from work) and didn't you say in thread one #1 "A colleague (we'll call her Thingy) who I don't get along with invited herself along", so what stops her inviting herself to other meals and others being stitched up when it come to paying the bill?
Also you and you friend have decide for the other seven that it was okay for this person to steal from them and get a free meal to boot as the money they put in for tips was take by this woman?

wanchai_2

Peater wrote: »

Lazer - "they kicked up a huge stink about having to pay for a share of the wine, even though they's added their bar drinks to the bill."

Sounds like they ended up not paying for their drinks at all.

Getting a bit off topic now, but was out in a group of 4 (2x singles, 1x couple) for some drinks.

I got the first round in, the other single got one in, then the bloke from the couple got one in. Our glasses were empty and had been for a while when and i made a 'ahem' and gestured to my empty glass. The couple said in almost perfect unison "but 'we' bought the last one."

I laughed in their face and explained that's not how it works in civilized society. They relented and got the next round in. Haven't seen them since. Oops.

Aggghhhh, this sort of thing drives me nuts!!!!

wanchai_2

OP - this woman HAS to pay up, it is wrong that she took the money from all of you. If needs be, let her save face by pretending that it's an honest mistake (though it clearly isn't, imho).

No way could she have paid the tip in cash - she didn't have any, which is why she was going to the ATM, but she didn't go and therefore had no cash for the tip!

She should reimburse £34 to you all - you get your £30 back, the waitress gets £4 next time you're in. All sorted. No way should you be out £45!!!!

Hezzawithkids

tea_lover wrote: »

They added the drinks to the bill - which probably meant everyone else had to pay more to cover for them.

Correct. Which is why we were so dismayed over them kicking up such a fuss about "paying for wine they didn't drink"

onlyroz

If this is a "work" issue then it should have been tackled by having a discrete word with the manager. If it's an "out of work" issue then it should have been tackled by taking the person to one side, out of earshot of *everybody* and airing your grievance while giving them a chance to respond.

I don't think that spreading accusations around the office (by email or otherwise), or accusing the person in a public place helps your credibility.

thehappybutterfly

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

I would get her by stealth. If not this time, then next.

Agreed - revenge is a dish best served cold! (if you'll pardon the pun!)

j.e.j.

Definitely warn others about what this woman does. Who knows how many more people she'll do this to!

The trouble is, people like that are often a bit 'clever', and when tackled they can talk their way out of a corner. We used to have a 'friend' in our group who, when we all shared a taxi home, would always suddenly realise just as the cab pulled up at her place that she didn't have the cab fare..

Some people are like that, they are selfish and they don't give a hoot what anyone else thinks of them.