Lunch with Colleagues - don't know what to do

LutonGirl

I've been on the other side of a similar story. I was a waitress during my college days and one evening we had a group of 30 in from a well known high street store on a work Christmas Do. We were short staffed that night and myself and two colleagues made sure this party didn't suffer from lack of attention. We busted our proverbials and everyone was in good spirits. After the bill was presented and paid, I was clearing away empties and refilling coffees, I saw a plate going round for a tip. Notes and coins were on the plate.

The party left, everyone in a great mood, we went back to the table to clear up and the plate was bare. None of us had picked up the cash, I just assumed our manageress had and carried on clearing.

After we closed and cashed up, we were sitting having a coffee and the manageress asked us how we'd got on with the XYZ party. I said great! They were a good bunch and we managed to keep the party flowing despite being short staffed. She said she hoped they'd left us a good tip because we'd sure earned it. We shook our heads and said we didn't get a tip and she was really upset.

Next shift, she shoved £20 into my hand and said that she'd called the party organiser the next day to get feedback and had mentioned the lack of tip. The organiser was appalled and said she'd personally contributed to the plate and someone must have pinched it. She popped by the next day and dropped in £60 to be split between us girls. It was 1989 and that was probably the biggest tip I'd ever had.

What sort of person pockets the tip?

sweetilemon

Glad we got the update...thanks! I was going to be very annoyed if i got to page 9 with no update! Might be very irritating but probably not worth the hassle in the long run. I would keep well clear of thingy though. Nearly the christmas holidays!

Hoseman

I would ask for your money back. Send her an email and cc everyone who was there. She shouldn't be allowed to get away with it.

getmore4less

Is she single?

One of you must have a single bloke you know that likes a challenge.

I would also make sure that word gets round, suprised no one had not warned you all after the previous occasions.

Most likely there are issues with work.

coolcait

OP, if you want to avoid further accusations of bullying - or of victimisation - you don't really seem to be helping yourself.

If 'Thingy' puts in another grievance about you, she could point to the following

- you were part of a larger group which went to lunch and chose to exclude her

- when she attended the lunch anyway, you avoided her

- you returned to the restaurant afterwards, alone - allegedly to collect a forgotten scarf - and were invited to have coffee with the manager

- the manager confided that - from his accounting point of view - your group had not left a tip; you assured him that your group had done so.

- you assumed that your colleague had not paid the tip. You do not appear to have considered the possibility that your colleague paid the tip separately, and/or that a member of the restaurant staff might have taken it

- you obtained a copy of a bill/receipt which had been paid with a third party's card. Your colleague's card, not your own. A colleague who has previously raised a grievance against you because of your behaviour towards her.

- you shared the bill/receipt information with yet another colleague. Along with your suspicions and suppositions

- you challenged 'Thingy' about the bill in a corridor - a public space - even though you were challenging her honesty, integrity and probity - on fairly flimsy evidence. Which - maybe - you shouldn't have been given, as it wasn't your card that paid the bill. You see her abrupt departure from your confrontation, and failure to contact you later, as proof that she took the money. She may see it, and/or present it, as a further example of bullying and attempted humiliation on your part.

- you have taken part in a gossipy discussion about two previous occasions where your colleague allegedly failed to pay her share. You have taken that gossipy hearsay at face value - even though you did not witness either instance. You don't seem to have considered that the gossipy colleague who shared that with you might also share your confidences with others.

- you have decided that the way forward is to exclude your colleague from future social events. With the risk that others may learn the reason why you have taken that decision

You might be totally genuine. Your story might be totally true.

If the colleague you call 'Thingy' raises another grievance against you, you could be totally stuffed.

bestpud

coolcait wrote: »

OP, if you want to avoid further accusations of bullying - or of victimisation - you don't really seem to be helping yourself.

If 'Thingy' puts in another grievance about you, she could point to the following

- you were part of a larger group which went to lunch and chose to exclude her

- when she attended the lunch anyway, you avoided her

- you returned to the restaurant afterwards, alone - allegedly to collect a forgotten scarf - and were invited to have coffee with the manager

- the manager confided that - from his accounting point of view - your group had not left a tip; you assured him that your group had done so.

- you assumed that your colleague had not paid the tip. You do not appear to have considered the possibility that your colleague paid the tip separately, and/or that a member of the restaurant staff might have taken it

- you obtained a copy of a bill/receipt which had been paid with a third party's card. Your colleague's card, not your own. A colleague who has previously raised a grievance against you because of your behaviour towards her.

- you shared the bill/receipt information with yet another colleague. Along with your suspicions and suppositions

- you challenged 'Thingy' about the bill in a corridor - a public space - even though you were challenging her honesty, integrity and probity - on fairly flimsy evidence. Which - maybe - you shouldn't have been given, as it wasn't your card that paid the bill. You see her abrupt departure from your confrontation, and failure to contact you later, as proof that she took the money. She may see it, and/or present it, as a further example of bullying and attempted humiliation on your part.

- you have taken part in a gossipy discussion about two previous occasions where your colleague allegedly failed to pay her share. You have taken that gossipy hearsay at face value - even though you did not witness either instance. You don't seem to have considered that the gossipy colleague who shared that with you might also share your confidences with others.

- you have decided that the way forward is to exclude your colleague from future social events. With the risk that others may learn the reason why you have taken that decision

You might be totally genuine. Your story might be totally true.

If the colleague you call 'Thingy' raises another grievance against you, you could be totally stuffed.

It sounds like thingy is excluded, or excludes herself, from lots of group gatherings.

They certainly don't seem united as a workplace but it seems thingy doesn't really fit in any of the smaller groups either.

She could simply be an awful person but I can't help feel she must find work difficult and there could be reasons for her behaviour that are exacerbated by her being ostracised.

I'm so glad I don't work somewhere like that!

Listerbelle

It sounds like Thingy has bigger problems than suggested here. Gambling or other debts perhaps?

I think she needs an intro to MSE!

Treevo

bestpud wrote: »

It sounds like thingy is excluded, or excludes herself, from lots of group gatherings.

They certainly don't seem united as a workplace but it seems thingy doesn't really fit in any of the smaller groups either.

She could simply be an awful person but I can't help feel she must find work difficult and there could be reasons for her behaviour that are exacerbated by her being ostracised.

I'm so glad I don't work somewhere like that!

The majority of people do not appear to like her so the problem is with all of them and not the thief? :eek:

Tygermoth

Our 'thingy' moans that no one invites her out, that all the teams shun her and everyone is against her. (she is in a team of one because of the problems she has had with 'bullying' in my humble opinion as a person who has been bullied at work in this case 'bullying' means she was not getting her way)

But she is her own worst enemy. She whines about everything back stabs anyone who tries to be friendly and is a ball ache to be around. Her self interest and ability to make a mountain out of a molehill is legendary.

She is also sly, we had a young lass in as filing temp in for a couple of months and the poor girl looked very harassed and flustered the whole time she was with us. It turned out Thingy has appropriated her to do a large chunk of her tasks as well as the role. The manager was furious asked why a temp who had been charged with a team role had ended up doing her job. Thingy lied so spectacularly I was in awe. In the end she was so convincing that the Temp had not been asked to do all these tasks and it was a misunderstanding the matter was dropped. Poor temp girl was in tears and was so upset she never came back

I got Thingy for secret Santa this year (its a £20 gift) and i am tempted to put in a IOU like she has done for the last few staff meals out and get the team £20 of goodies. We had to buy all new festive decorations this year because she nicked last years but we cant accuse her, she also has conveniently forgotten the petrol money she owes me and one of the team and has persistently managed not to pay for Fridays McDonald's breakfast.

The woman drives me mental.

tooldle

I don't think the OP can ask for the extra £30 back. This is a separate issue to the original tip, included in the £15 per head. The OP choose to pay the extra £30 to smooth things over.