Lunch with Colleagues - don't know what to do

Mojisola

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

That 'happen to work together' is the crux. They went from work, she was there because of work, and they went back to work. And if thingy cries 'witch-hunt' and takes a grievance out due to bullying, then it will be the managers that have to sort it out.

Yes, I agree. But at the moment, it's a dispute between the individuals.

Stephb1986_2

What happened?

Steph xx

Kaz2904

So glad you asked before me Steph !

Poppy9

Stephb1986 wrote: »

What happened?

Steph xx

Perhaps Thingy has thumped her and she's in A&E:D

skintchick

She might be too scared to come back on here. Or things went Pete Tong today and she is feeling fragile. It sounds a tricky situation.

yvonne13_2

I don't believe this I practically broke my neck to get home fast tonight to see the OP's response and either she's working late too or we will never find out what happened.

Justicia

There's a mystery afoot, so I'm gonna get in now and call it;

It was Thingy. In the restaurant. With the scarf...

meritaten

Patience - gibson didnt post til gone 9 last night - I guess she has stuff to do before satisfying our curiosity!

jackomdj

meritaten wrote: »

Patience - gibson didnt post til gone 9 last night - I guess she has stuff to do before satisfying our curiosity!

Patience, I don't have much of that at the best of times.

gibson123

OMG I am surprised at the interest in this thread and thank you for all your opinions, even the ones questioning my motives have helped a lot.

I assure you all that my story is absolutely genuine, and as a few of you guessed I do know the Restaurant Manager very well, I was a hotelier in a past work life and the restaurant owner just happens to be from an area of he world that I have a holiday home in, so we do quite often have some cosy chats over coffee and baklava.

And now for the update:

Here is what happened today.

I saw thingy in the corridor and said "i thought you should know I went to the ****** restaurant after work and ****** said we hadn't left a tip, so I left a £30 tip" She mumbled about a meeting and shot of down the stairs. She avoided me for the rest of the day and no offer of giving me any money or explanation appeared.

I spoke to my colleague, the one I trust and had sent an e-mail to, she is the person in the office that almost everyone else confides in. She told me of two stories she knows off involving thingy.

Once she was out with another team, different restaurant, ate her full meal and then said she wanted to complain about the service, when everyone else said not to, because they were happy wiht their meal, she picked up her coat and said she wasn't going to pay and stormed out of the restaurant, leaving the others to pick up her share of the bill. My colleague was present for that lunch.

The other concerned last years Christmas party, which is pre-paid in installments, she had said she wasn't going, but when one of our interns took glandular fever, she offered to take his space. After the night out, the organiser asked her if she would like to leave the money for the night out with her and she would see that the intern got it back. She refused, saying she had never agreed to pay and that as it was non refundable she was just making sure it wasn't wasted. Seemingly almost everyone knows about this incident (but not me, as I had left early)

Anyway we had a good talk about this. We came to the conclusion that really we can't tackle this without involving management and we cannot let everyone else know without creating a lot of bad feeling in the team. We also agreed it would be a stressful situation for me, that it isn't up to me to punish her or try to see the error of her ways and really isn't worth the hassle.

We have decided that not inviting her in future is the way forward. If she complains, we feel we have a reasonable case for not including her. We have a huge team and we tend to go out in groups of between 6 and 10, she is not really in any group, she tends to do her own thing.

Thanks again, you all really helped talk me down from the ceiling and away from thoughts or vengeance and retribution. I feel rather adult and angelic now :A:A