Lunch with Colleagues - don't know what to do

Sambucus_Nigra · 15 December 2012 at 9:53PM

I think we've done this to death now - she's decided to drop it and that's that.

Betty_Crumble · 16 December 2012 at 9:13PM

There should defo be as process nowadays to split a bill equally and all diners pay by card. I refuse to go out now because people have no shame and to think you have to work with them. Went out on 'n's' birthday and I'd said up front i would pay for 'n' so when bill came I put in 2 x £amount. Someone else added it up and it was 1x £ amount missing and it was all asssumed that it was beacause I still had to put 'n's' in. I've not been quite so furious as then but didnt want to cause a scene so put another £ amount in, well and truly the last time, especially as they all had the first thought that the reason was because of me. It still upsets me.

Gibson, I really hope she gets her comeuppence.

Ebenezer_Screwj · 19 December 2012 at 8:45AM

This is a particularly nasty form of theft. You should give full details to all who were present and jointly confront this person.

floss2 · 19 December 2012 at 9:11AM

coolcait wrote: »

The OP did not pay for the meal on his/her card. The restaurant owner showed her a receipt for a transaction made on another person's card. I think that may put him in an awkward position if the OP's colleague were to challenge the OP's version of events.....

But the OP is a close friend of the restaurant manager / owner, and he was (quite rightly) concerned about his new member of staff's performance.

Why wouldn't he raise it if he had a genuine issue? And especially if he knew the group had always left a tip on previous visits?

KxMx · 19 December 2012 at 10:50AM

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

I think we've done this to death now - she's decided to drop it and that's that.

Didn't stop MSE using it as the MMD of the week!

:eek:

circuit · 19 December 2012 at 10:53AM

This thread is a great example of why I hate working in offices.

This woman has had no chance to explain whatsoever, and has been hung out to dry by someone who clearly doesn't like her.

You are obviously watching her, ready to pounce if she f*rts in the wrong direction. I have social anxiety disorder and have been picked on like this at work. It makes life a complete misery.

I'm certainly not condoning theft, but there could be all kinds of issues going on here. If someone does something like this, your only option is to speak to them impartially and privately to understand what happened. You do not go around emailing colleagues or gossiping with people.

Now this poor woman has had her actions scrutinised by millions of people who have just received Martin's mailout. And she is probably going to spend her Christmas holiday dreading going back to work because she doesn't want to bump into you, or deal with you and your mates whispering behind her back and going out for drinks without her.

Maybe she held back the money because she needed to put a fiver in her electric meter? Maybe she would have paid it back if the restaurant mentioned it?

If you didn't have the guts to speak to her privately and get her side of the story, you should have kept your nose out of it, kept your £30 in your wallet and let the restaurant sort it themselves.

pennypinchUK · 19 December 2012 at 10:59AM

It sounds like the last time you had trouble with your colleague it there was no evidence - just one person's word against another. And that's often difficult to prove conclusively.

However, this time you have proof that your colleague has done wrong. She has defrauded you and your work mates - we'd need more details before we could say it was fraudulent in law, but certainly she has sought to financially gain against the wishes of you and your friends.

As this was a work related get-together, any misdemeanour can and should be dealt with as a company disciplinary action. Your management should certainly want to know about her actions, as she has:
1. Sought to financially gain dishonestly in a work context; and
2. Demonstrated her lack of financial trustworthiness (or, put more bluntly, stolen from her colleagues).

This should be treated in exactly the same way as if she had been caught stealing from a works whip-round collection.

Witness statements should be taken from all the meal attendees and the restaurant owner should be asked for a statement to confirm you normally leave a tip. These, along with the paid restaurant bill will be firm evidence of her wrong-doing.

Remember, in law, the disciplinary process only requires your management to find her guilty "on the balance of probabilities", rather than the stricter criminal law requirement of "beyond reasonable doubt". However, from what you've said, you have clear documentary proof of her wrong-doing and it should not be a difficult matter.

If your management follow the correct disciplinary procedure you should receive an early Christmas present - the dismissal of a stealing, unethical and untrustworthy colleague.

tindella · 19 December 2012 at 11:03AM

I think I'd have a word with her first - she might have an explanation - though it would have to be pretty damn good! I'm not excusing theft but she might be broke - she might have used up all her credit card allowance etc. If you're not satisfied with her reply, I would tell her you intend to tell everyone she's a thief. Oh - and - keep well away from her.

Bennifred · 19 December 2012 at 11:35AM

If she's broke, maybe she shouldn't be going out for expensive meals...

Cantabilly · 19 December 2012 at 11:47AM

Although on the face of it she appears to be a thief, I think it would be wrong to do anything at all without speaking to Thingy first. I know you don't get on, but don't forget that everyone is presumed innocent until proven guilty. She should at least get the chance to defend herself.