My kids will only ever own a property if their g/parents leave them massive amount

Hayley_McKenna

Just a thought -

When the time comes and you and your husband pass away - and your children are in the same position as your husband and brother in law (i.e. one child gives you grandchildren and the one child does not). Would you decide to write the child who gave you no grandchildren out of your will?

I doubt it very much - so why do you expect someone else to do it?

You don't know what will happen - your parents-in-law may lives for years and years and therefore need to use THEIR money for care and the lifestyle they are used to. I would personally encourage my grandparents / parents to spend their money on things that they couldn't afford when they were younger (the fancy holidays / the expensive cars / special days just out becuase they can).

Just a thought anyway - my opinion

olly300

I also feel sad and read greedy vibes from your opening post.

Inheritance is not a right and to be honest I am one of the people out their who would rather have living close relations than the money they left me.

Some childless people actually love their nephews and nieces, but decide that giving or leaving a young adult a large sum of money is not a good idea. Instead they can provide support in other ways. Believe it or not supporting someone, loving them and being there for them costs more than giving someone some money.

You have no idea what your children as adults would want. They may be wise - get educated, see the world, buy property, set up businesses - or they may be foolish- get addicted to gambling or drugs, have wild parties, buy fast cars. Either way the decision to spent the money they inherit or are given will be your children's not yours

JennyW_2

Hayley_McKenna wrote: »

Just a thought -

When the time comes and you and your husband pass away - and your children are in the same position as your husband and brother in law (i.e. one child gives you grandchildren and the one child does not). Would you decide to write the child who gave you no grandchildren out of your will?

I doubt it very much - so why do you expect someone else to do it?

EXACTLY! I'm one of 4 children and have taken the decision not to have children. I'm certainly glad my mum doesn't your attitude. Me and my brothers have never had any financial support from our parents or grandparents - because it just wasn't there. We now all own our properties and hope that mum lives to a ripe old age and enjoys what she has.

YOU chose to have children and with that comes responsibility and that responsibility is not your in-laws or your brother-in-laws! I just cant believe what you expect from these people????

Your children can work and earn their own deposit just like the rest of us had to do.

Oh, for your sake let's hope that your in-laws don't get wind of this thread and leave "YOUR" share to the cats home

[Deleted User]

Following on from my last post:

I have just treated us to a nice silk duvet and next week we go on a luxury holiday. We did without a lot through our lives and your opening post has really upset me. Today you have so much more than we and our parents ever did. Have you ever had to live off pigs head for 3 meals? I bet not. You are part of the want it all generation

We are going to have enough put by in a bond in case we ever need care, but we will spend our money on us with perhaps a couple of £k here and there to our family, if needed, but the work and save ethic rubbed off and our children will be providing for their own children and oh yes, I know that they will care for us, if needed, without any thought of inheritance

sarah_elton

miss_bargainmad wrote: »

They are very close to their grandchildren and if I was in their postion I would see the whole picture and leave say maybe the house to the grandchildren and split the cash between the brothers.

30 years from now, your two kids are equally well-off. One of them has kids and the other doesn't. Would you really leave your estate to the one with kids?

My brother and I are both in our twenties, both doing alright. Neither of us has children yet. If he had kids, and my mum still wanted to leave her estate to family but changed her will to leave everything to him, I'd feel pretty hard done by.

I agree with others here - so many people see inheritance as a right these days. My mum and dad both came from working class families, and grew up on the breadline. None of my grandparents left a penny. Both of my parents have worked their way to white-collar positions and are now classic lower middle to middle class. They've split up, and my mum is mortgage-free in a decent job. As with others, I want my mum to enjoy the assets she's accrued as she heads towards retirement. She has had things tough and thoroughly deserves the position she's in now. To her, having savings etc is completely unnatural because of the position when she grew up, and when she and my dad started out. She struggles to buy something expensive that she wants, whereas I have an "if I can afford it, get it!" attitude. She's coming round to it, is going on a lot more holidays, treating herself etc. Anything that is left over when she goes will go to my brother and I. I am enormously grateful for anything I get; she and my dad got to where they are without a penny from anyone else. They helped me out with uni costs which I'll always be grateful for. With a good degree I'm now in a decent career and own a flat, without being gifted a deposit by anyone which so many people seem to expect parents to do these days.

There is nothing wrong at all with parents/grandparents helping kids out in life financially, I'm not saying there is, in fact it's a wonderful thing to be able to do. But it's a gift people should be grateful for if they get it, not a god given right.

Your husband is in the lucky position of having parents with a decent estate. He's even luckier that they want to leave it to him and his brother. Just be grateful for what you get.

BlondeHeadOn

I don't have any kids, but I am a grandchild. When my grandmother died she left me £100.00 in her will. I was so touched that she'd thought of me, as she never had two pennies to rub together when she was alive! I thought for quite a while about what to do with the money, and in the end decided to spend it on a bench for our garden. Now it's known as the "Granny bench" and is my favourite place in the garden to sit.

That £100 has meant more to me and brought me more pleasure than a huge inheritance ever could - I think this is the true meaning of an "inheritance".

[Deleted User]

blondeheadon, you have got it exactly right. My dd got £100 from her grandma and she used it towards buying books when at uni and is now a highly qualified medical professional. Her grandma only ever put the heating on when we went to visit her. She didn`t have money either

Ems*Honie

Goodness, I wouldn't even presume to ask what was in my Inlaws bank account!! Let alone attempt to dictate how they should spend/will it!

As an aside, for EPZ, not all BTL people are scum, your use of the insulting term makes your arguments look ignorant and fuelled by jealousy. We have a BTL house, my sister lives in it with her two disabled boys, she cant work and couldn't afford a deposit on a decent house, so we took on an extra mortgage to help her out now, and us out when her boys are older and she moves on. I'm not scum.

Triker

Many, many years ago when I became aware of the word 'inheritence', I realised that I would definately not be receiving one.:rotfl:

So rather than sitting there resenting everyone who was getting one I decided to do something about it.

I decided to try to build something up for myself and to be able to pass something on to my children.

I entered the world of education as a mature student and started making that journey towards a better future.

By default my children will now 'inherit' something money cannot buy.... a self belief that with determination and time you can achieve what you want out of life.

I heard this saying a while ago which I also think is apt,

'earned' money feels so much different than 'given' money'.

Anu

As much as i don't agree with the idea of having your eye on the Grandparent's inheritance can i just point out to all the people complaing about the OP's "inflated" idea's of how much a FTB house costs that houses are not affordable in every area. 1 bed flats in our area are £220k, 2 bed flats are £250k, and houses which we are now trying to buy are starting at £300k .....we don't even want to buy an average house in our area....well we do but there's no chance we would be able to afford one. 100k in our position would have meant the difference between being able to buy a house or not.....
I consider myself very lucky to have been left £10k from my grandmother, but then she was my only grandparent to see me to adulthood, and I'd gladly give back the money and more to have her back...