My kids will only ever own a property if their g/parents leave them massive amount

DKLS

My Ma keeps trying to give me my "inheritance" on a weekly basis, I dont want it, she worked hard for it, I dont expect a penny, If there is anything left when she passes it will be a bonus, not my right. I hope she spends the lot on a great retirement, with some encouragement, she has been trekking to Borneo and Veitnam and is off to Thailand for the 3rd time next month.
It never ceases to amaze how family members can become vultures, when they sniff some cash.

paddy's_mum

Or, as I once read, put into a very neat nutshell - Where there's a will, there's a relative!

cpu

Anu wrote: »

As much as i don't agree with the idea of having your eye on the Grandparent's inheritance can i just point out to all the people complaing about the OP's "inflated" idea's of how much a FTB house costs that houses are not affordable in every area.

Sorry Anu.....I don't want to seem as if I'm picking on you in particular, but I quoted you because the point you made about house prices is pretty much the basic premise of the OP's post.

The price of houses is irrelevant. If you don't have, you can't get, simple as.

It's not a case of 'higher house price' = look to others to subsidise.

It should be 'higher house price' = rent from council or private landlord until your situation changes.

I don't think rising house prices, or her children getting on the property ladder is really the point of the problem for the OP.

I think it's her expectations which are the issue along with her belief that her children should be helped at the expense of another family member. As I said earlier, her beliefs are clouding her judgement.

As another poster said above me, perhaps if she were to imagine it was her children instead of her OH and his brother. Would she really want one of them to have and the other not? It doesn't matter what other assets they have in their own right, a bequest of money is the last thing a parent can do for their child. Most parents would not consider treating one in a more favourable way than the other.

I expect the OP is regretting starting this thread now.

sarah_elton

full-time-mum wrote: »

Our parents worked hard to feed and clothe us and any money they have now, is theirs to enjoy in their retirement - all I request is that they don't leave us with massive debts to pick up.

As I understand it, debts die with you. The mortgage is paid off out of the estate (or if there's not enough in the estate the bank will just repossess?). Possibly unsecured debts also get paid from the estate if there's enough??? But family members don't have to pick up a shortfall.

Am I correct in that? I'm talking about debts passing to children etc rather than partners. I know one partner will be liable for any joint debts if the other dies.

olly300

sarah_elton wrote: »

As I understand it, debts die with you. The mortgage is paid off out of the estate (or if there's not enough in the estate the bank will just repossess?). Possibly unsecured debts also get paid from the estate if there's enough??? But family members don't have to pick up a shortfall.

Am I correct in that? I'm talking about debts passing to children etc rather than partners. I know one partner will be liable for any joint debts if the other dies.

Yes debts do die with you unless you are married or applied for the debt jointly.

Credit Card companies changed their T&C a few years ago to ensure they could get money out of someone's estate. Which is why you hear stories of CC companies chasing parents of people who killed themselves over debt because they think the deceased has an estate to get money out of.

WrenBoy

I was hopeless with money in my 20s and 30s and would have squandered any inheritance I received. I’m a bit better now but this site helps to keep me on the straight and narrow. Luckily my family was large, Irish and poor and I didn’t get anything.

DH had wealthy grandparents but all they gave him was a first class public school education. When his grandfather died his grandmother asked him (DH, who was 12 at the time) what she should do with the money. He told her to spend it all and have the time of her life. Which she did. He’s never resented not having any inheritance and felt a good education was gift enough.

Hard work got us on the property market and we now own our central London property.

Wren

Ms_Piggy_2

miss_bargainmad wrote: »

Am I being really unreasonable to want this for my children as they are the only two grandchildren in the family?

In a word - yes!

Your PIL's money is theirs. It's up to them what they do with it, whether that be spend it all or leave it to the donkeys' home. Your children (or your husband) are not 'owed' any of it. Great if you get some (or even all of it) but don't get bitter and twisted about it.

paddy's_mum

I did add another sentence to my post earlier today but the site seems to have gobbled it or pushed it out into thin air! My question was this -

If the boot were on the other foot, your parents-in-law had to receive long term care, all the money was used up and the powers-that-be looked to you to provide the shortfall from your own hard earned money, would you still feel (through some theory of what's theirs is yours and what's yours is theirs) that they have an entitlement to take whatever they felt appropriate from you? No ... ?

Well, the case is proved then, isn't it?!

miss_bargainmad

I've been well and truly told off haven't I? (Do some people spend their whole lives on this site?)

The fact is the grandparents have scrimped and saved all their lives to amass a fortune to have in the bank when they die and the two sons and the grandchildren will get it. No doubts about that as there is no-one else.

I completely agree with those who have said that any money you haven't worked for, you don't treat it as if you had worked for it.

If my children ended up complete wasters then I would ensure they got nothing as handing over money to an 18 or 21 year old to do what they want with is the ruination of them.

Where I live, even if they had £100K to put down on a property they would probably still struggle if the market continues like it is and would still have to work their socks off to cover the mortgage.

If the housing situation was the same as it was 9 or 10 years ago then no-one would need any help.

I was reading yesterday that if it wasn't for parents/grandparents helping out their children with large deposits the housing market would have collapsed.

missile

Now I understand why some grandparents leave all their cash to a charity :-)