My kids will only ever own a property if their g/parents leave them massive amount

ftbworried

miss_bargainmad wrote: »

Getting on the housing ladder is nigh on impossible for most young people these days.

Not true. Yes house prices are high, but interest rates are relatively low and changes in the mortgage market mean that the traditional 3x salary rule for 25 years is not always adhered to anymore.

miss_bargainmad wrote: »

The average house price is nearly £200K - what sort of jobs must they have to afford this?

Well, my husband and I are fairly average i think- he is an IT consultant (worked up from a graduate scheme) who was on 40k a year, and at the time I was still a student working a part time job in a pub on £5k a year. Our mortgage offer was for 200K with the halifax for a 25 year mortgage. We had saved up about £10k for a deposit. One couple who recently bought their first house we know consist of a teacher and a mechanic. They've managed to buy a brand new 3 bed semi too. Its not as impossible as the media like to lead people to believe.

Like someone else said, just focus on them getting a good education and and a promising career and it will take care of itself.

wisbech_lad

Your husband knows his parents and brother better than you do. If his opinion is not to raise the issue, then do not raise the issue. You do NOT want the reputation of being the "greedy" daughter in law who just can't wait for them to die, and is already planning what to do with the inheritance.

IMHO, you will probably also annoy your husband with this line of thinking, so don't raise it any more with him, either.

cpu

You sound like a genuinely caring and very concerned parent to me and I think you are right to give some thought to how you could perhaps help your children in the future. However, your strong desire to ease things for your children in the future has clouded your thinking and I think you are so close and so emotionally involved that you are simply not seeing clearly any longer.

You have completely overstepped the mark in your thoughts and you have become selfishly blinkered. Although I understood the reasons why you are thinking like this, you have gone too far and strayed into territory that is none of your business. I urge you to step back and try to see this from anyone else's point of view, other than your own. I suspect you don't even realise just what a cheek you have, but the ends DO NOT justify the means. It is not right at all for you to decide your children should get a share of their uncle's inheritance.

Tbh, this thread has disturbed me so much that as soon as my lad gets up, he and I are going to have a wee chat over breakfast about how, in order to develop into a well rounded individual, he needs to make his own way in the world and if there is any financial help to come from his family, then that will be a bonus, not a countable certainty.

Tam_Lin

My honest opinion is that you should butt out of family financial arrangements which are none of your business. My SIL will inherit everything and my DH will get nothing; that's my MIL's choice for whatever reason, she's already told us what she's planning to do, and DH decided not to let it wind him up. Likewise, my mother will leave her estate to my sister who has a child as opposed to any portion to me who am childless. It's their choice and their money; it just means that DH and I don't look for any help from our families, and at least we have each other.

mystic_trev

miss_bargainmad wrote: »

Am I being really unreasonable to want this for my children as they are the only two grandchildren in the family?

Is it only me or does this smack of greed?

It's right for every parent to want the best for their children.

It's wrong for them to think any inheritance is their childrens right!

Tam_Lin

mystic_trev wrote: »

Is it only me or does this smack of greed?

Yes you're right. So far, while a couple of people can empathise with the poster's concern for her children's future, no-one agrees with her wish to poke her nose into family financial matters and diddle the BIL out of anything his parents choose to leave to him.

knithappens

miss_bargainmad wrote: »

My husband only has one brother who owns two properties outright (plus a massive amount in the bank) and him and his wife have very good work pensions and they do not have children (they are in their 40s). We are in a good position financially (although we do have to save a lot for our pensions as we don't have any works pensions) so I can't see why they couldn't leave a hefty chunk to their two grandchildren.

I would never ever bring this up at all and my husband said this isn't how things are done - he reckons they will leave everything 50/50 to him and his brother, regardless of how much money his brother is worth.

What will really annoy me is that his brother's inheritence would just remain in a bank account until they died and be passed to his wife's side of the family in all probablity.

Am I being really unreasonable to want this for my children as they are the only two grandchildren in the family?

We did say at the weekend to my father in law that we didn't think our kids would ever get on the property ladder and he said now was the time to buy property before it was too late. I said did he realise how much say a £120K mortage would be and did he think we had that kind of cash lying around.

I was gobsmacked when he said we shouldn't have far off that.

He really is blinkered and thinks everyone has the odd £100K lying in a bank somewhere.

Before we told him how much we did have, which is less than one fifth of this, I really think he thought we would be able to sort both our children out.

I haven't overlooked nursing home fees etc.

I don't know if anyone has ever broached the subject of inheritance tax with them either?

I know this will probably sound mean, but as far as i am concerned, you should not even be thinking about their money.
It does not matter how much they have got, the operative words being "they" . If you want your children to be able to afford a home that is your responsibility, not theirs, it is what you should be saving for, not looking towards a possible ( not guaranteed) inheritance from your husbands parents.

Also it does not matter that your brother in law has secure finances or no children, what your parents in law are doing is what any parent would do is to slit their money equally between their children, regardless of if they have children or not. Just because you have children it does not mean you should be entitled to more.

For all you know they could have put money aside for the grandchildren. Or their savings are their rainy day fund, in case they have to pay for care or a nursing home, which could eat considerable into their savings.

What you should be doing if you have concerns, and want to make sure your children will have a deposit for a home of their own, is making cut backs and save more for their future. Their should be no expectations, with someone elses money as it often leads to disappointment.

seven-day-weekend

Does it matter so much anyway if they can't buy a house? They can rent, or house-share, which a lot of young people have to do.

They will get an inheritance eventually - from you. Then they can buy one if they want to.

Or, once your husband inherits (if he does!) then put that money on trust for them.

Leave your BIL to do what he wishes with his inheritance.

gem4

I'm sorry but I would rather be happy and healthy than be rich and unhappy. I'm 50 yo single mum, grandmother, part time job, car, Housing Association rented house which is as nice as the owned houses on the estate.

I am happy and contented with my life. I have no wish to buy a house, I've never had a wish to buy a house, I've been brought up in rented properties all my life, college education, appreciate the value of money.
Is anything wrong with that?

My dad bought his house simply because he had rented for so long he got it at half price, cheaper than the rent.
I dont want it when he dies, neither does my brother. We dont care if he leaves it to either or all of our children. It's his choice. He's made a will, its in my possession, I haven't even read it. It's his business, not mine.

You seem to be jealous of your brother-in-law's money and lifestyle....why? You chose yours, he chose his. Your husband is a very sensible man and he's right, it's none of your business.

Your children are very young, enjoy them, listen to them and what they would like for the future instead of trying to impose your ideas on them. What if they want to join the forces? What if they join a religious group? You cannot make their choices. They may grow up hating what having money does to people. I hope they dont grow up with your views that inheritance is a right and that they should expect handouts from everywhere. Even worse that because you chose to have them your BIL should lose his share.

Leave it all alone. You are going to cause problems between yourself and hubby and the children will be stuck in the middle.
Heaven forbid you could end up divorced and a single parent living in rented accommodation.

You have asked for opinions and you have had enough of them here to show you that you are being selfish, even though you have your kids interests at heart.
I also have my kids interests at heart, even though they are adult now. Thankfully they have grown up with a different attitude to adulthood and values than your children may end up doing if you carry on the way you are. You dont need to give them money to show you love them.

Rant over......

[Deleted User]

I got the greed vibes from the opening post too. You should be encouraging your children to stand on their own two feet.

It sounds as though you can`t wait for the oldies to pop-their-clogs

My DH and I are in a very financially sound position now that we are retiring. We both started in very very poor families with second hand clothes etc but we were taught the value of work and saving and living within our means. Neither of us had any inheritance passed onto us but we never expected it

If we were the people concerned, we would be seeing a solicitor today and you would not be getting one penny. We would know how you really feel about us