My kids will only ever own a property if their g/parents leave them massive amount

home_alone

I have just given my son £100k+ to upgrade his house and I will give the same to my daughter in the next few months and just hope that me and the better half can live another 7 years, it was that or give G Brown the money no contest.

gary

suffolkb

That`s your money and you are, of course, free to do that. The OP seems to be deciding what someone else should do with their money.

Mrs_pbradley936

I want to say something from the point of view of someone who has helped her children onto the property ladder. It was the worst thing we ever did, let me tell you what happened. Oldest son got married in 1996 to a very nice girl and as a wedding present we paid £10,000 as a deposit on a house. The total cost of the house was £68,000 meaning they had to borrow £58,000 we also paid all the solicitors fees. In 2000 they split up and my son bought her share from her rather than sell the house and split the proceeds. To do that he had to re-mortgage. He then got two of his friends to move in and all was well. For a while. Then he met another girl and he wanted to impress her so took her to fancy places, he got in debt and decided to sell the house and move in with her (she was renting). He sold the house and had £120K in equity and is now totally broke due to going on expensive holidays and eating out all the time. He has an attitude of “easy come easy go” and it is all our fault because we thought we were doing the best for him. We were not – we should have let him struggle to find a few hundred pounds because then he might have had some respect for earning, budgeting and saving.

MrChips

I may be wrong, but does the OP read the Daily Mail by any chance?

Phirefly

Fast Forward 20 years and if I were the partner of one of the OPs offspring I'd be thanking my lucky stars that we're about to buy our first property without any financial assistance from his parents. We'll be owning our own home without having to be eternally grateful to anyone.

full-time-mum

I too worry about my children getting onto the housing ladder and aren't in a position to save for them at uni, let alone a deposit.

I just trust that we have taught them how to manage their money, to do their best at school so they can get good jobs and that when the time comes, things will be better - the situation is bound to resolve itself eventually as more and more people struggle to get a foothold.

We will obviously give them any help that we can but we certainly don't expect them (or us for that matter) to receive anything in inheritence. Our parents worked hard to feed and clothe us and any money they have now, is theirs to enjoy in their retirement - all I request is that they don't leave us with massive debts to pick up.

I understand where the OP is coming from but she is coming over as a money grabber. Why shouldn't her husband's siblings inherit a share of their parents' money? Where it goes after that is then their business - the OP doesn't know that the BIL will ignore is nieces/nephews and if the BIL knows of her attitude, then I can see why they would be sending any money the wife's family way. The OP has made lifestye choices which have left her with a family to support whereas her BIL has chosen (or maybe been forced) to be childless - this doesn't diminish his entitlement in anyway. The BIL has earned his works pension by his lifestyle choices, he may have had a bit of lucky but it still didn't just land in his lap.

The OP has got to stand on her own two feet as will her children when the time comes. She would be much better placed educating her children in this way rather than encouraging the "easy come/easy go" attitude described by pbradley. Too many of todays younger (and now not so young) generation expect everything to be handed to them on a plate - its "me, me, me" and "my right". Everyone is entitled to a roof over their head and food on their plate but that doesn't extend to property ownership or flash digs.

We should look back at the hardships that our grandparents and great grandparents had to endure and thank our lucky stars that things are better and stop wishing for the moon and stars as well.

Timmne

Where's the OP gone?

Probably realised how ridiculous her post was!

I really pity a couple of my friends that have been mothered right to the age of 22 (and it still continues). One of them was complaining to me a while back that his car was broken into and amongst other things his CC statement was stolen and he would now 'have' to pay £5 for a copy statement so his mum could pay it off, which really seemed to annoy him.

Mothers like OP are just going to love their kids to the point that they just don't know how to live and they'll end up wasting any money they get given as they won't know how hard it is to earn it in the real world. Moving out these days is easy enough if you're willing to get a job (or two, maybe even three like I did when we first moved out) and pay for it yourself.

Too many people my age have ruined their mortgage lending potential by getting loans on cars and maxing out credit cards and now "can't" get a mortgage.

Forget preying on your PIL's money - how offended would you be if your kids were planning your death in 40 years time?

stardoman

miss_bargainmad wrote: »

No EliteHeat I don't think that at all.

But their two sons are sorted out financially. As I said we are practically mortgage free and my brother in law is worth approx. £600K with his two properties, savings etc.

They are very close to their grandchildren and if I was in their postion I would see the whole picture and leave say maybe the house to the grandchildren and split the cash between the brothers.

But that is precisely what I want people's opinions on - even though his brother has no children (and I don't think ever will now) and is loaded will he see it as grossly unfair that his two nephews got a big chunk of the Estate?

My husband thinks his brother would see it like this and he would be happy for everything to be split 50/50 and leave it for us to sort out our children and not have any of the money?

The thing is, your in-laws could leave a lot of money to your children, but it doesn't mean that your children will spend it wisely. When I was 20 a boyfriend and his sister inherited their gran's house. Like you say, it should have set them up for life. But what did Paul spend it on - cars, nights out, clothes etc. It was all spent within 2 years. I know that he regretted it later on when he was living in a grotty flat above a chip shop.

In many ways, I think its better to teach them the value of money and how to budget and then let them make their own way in the world. I think if you're given everything on a plate it you don't get the same sense of achievement when you suceed in your own life.

Mandy.

peachespeaches

I have broached the subject with my mum. All her investments are tied up apparently. Its a tricky one. Its awful to say it but its a matter of waiting until they pass on.

My son is in his final year at uni and also works pt, his girl is a graduate and works ft. They cant afford a mortgage, so they rent a lovely flat for a massive £525 a month. Maybe when he graduates and gets a job they may be able to get on the property ladder.

It looks rather bleak though.

peter999

miss_bargainmad wrote: »

My husband only has one brother who owns two properties outright (plus a massive amount in the bank) and him and his wife have very good work pensions and they do not have children (they are in their 40s). We are in a good position financially (although we do have to save a lot for our pensions as we don't have any works pensions) so I can't see why they couldn't leave a hefty chunk to their two grandchildren.

I would never ever bring this up at all and my husband said this isn't how things are done - he reckons they will leave everything 50/50 to him and his brother, regardless of how much money his brother is worth.

I don't know if anyone has ever broached the subject of inheritance tax with them either?

It's none of your business, keep your nose out.

Relatives start behaving very strangely when there's a sniff of inheritance money about.
I've never seen anything like it !!

peter999