Not 'doing' Santa

seven-day-weekend

But I would not have said he doesn't want to talk to you. I should have said something like, he's not available (which I did), and when she asked what he was doing, I should have said something like 'he can't come to the phone at the moment, he will ring you back'. Not told a downright lie!

I do not think my soul is damned at all, (I never ever feel that), but I feel sorry that I lied and think it is an unneccesary thing to do on virtually all occasions.

balletshoes

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

But I would not have said he doesn't want to talk to you. I should have said something like, he's not available (which I did), and when she asked what he was doing, I should have said something like 'he can't come to the phone at the moment, he will ring you back'. Not told a downright lie!

I do not think my soul is damned at all, (I never ever feel that), but I feel sorry that I lied and think it is an unneccesary thing to do on virtually all occasions.

in that particular situation, it would have been a lie to say "he can't come to the phone at the moment" wouldn't it? I mean, he could have come to the phone, the reason he didn't was because he didn't want to talk to the caller?

I'm not having a go, I'm quietly fascinated by this white lie/no lying debate.

seven-day-weekend

balletshoes wrote: »

in that particular situation, it would have been a lie to say "he can't come to the phone at the moment" wouldn't it? I mean, he could have come to the phone, the reason he didn't was because he didn't want to talk to the caller?

I'm not having a go, I'm quietly fascinated by this white lie/no lying debate.

Well I suppose he could physically have come to the phone, but he would just not be able to speak into it once he got there. So basically he could not take a phone call.

He did ring her back later in the day and spoke to her.

If I only had me to consider, I would have said 'he can't talk to you at the moment because he is too anxious', but my husband would not want me to say that.

Person_one

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Well I suppose he could physically have come to the phone, but he would just not be able to speak into it once he got there. So basically he could not take a phone call.

He did ring her back later in the day and spoke to her.

Hardly seems worth all the hand wringing.

seven-day-weekend

Person_one wrote: »

Hardly seems worth all the hand wringing.

There is no need to be sarcastic. We all have things in our lives that we don't like doing and that make us feel bad if we do them. Lying fits into that category for me. Always has.

madison-nyc

notanewuser wrote: »

My memories of xmas as a child suck for a number of reasons (some of which are already listed on here), and I don't want this to be the case for DD. It was not a fabulous part of my childhood.

I'm going to say this once more, and in nice big letters

THIS IS NOT ABOUT DENYING MY DAUGHTER THE OPPORTUNITY TO BELIEVE IN SANTA (as it seems to be the standard belief that Santa is the only magical thing about xmas). SHE IS MORE THAN WELCOME TO BELIEVE IF SHE WANTS TO, BUT WE WON'T BE ENCOURAGING OR PUSHING HER TO.

The chances of her believing in santa if you don't tell her he's 'real' is slim to none though isn't it?? so you are denying her the option to believe. It's not one of those things you can say she can decide when she's older as , by the time , she's 6/7/8 it's all over anyway.

The fact that you don't have good memories of xmas seem to be a major factor here as if you'd have good memories of waiting for santa , putting the reindeer food out etc. , you wouldn't be going down this route, i'm sure.

Yes , there are many things about xmas that are 'magical' but the majority of them are santa related , you can't deny that.

skintchick

balletshoes wrote: »

in that particular situation, it would have been a lie to say "he can't come to the phone at the moment" wouldn't it? I mean, he could have come to the phone, the reason he didn't was because he didn't want to talk to the caller?

I'm not having a go, I'm quietly fascinated by this white lie/no lying debate.

I don't think that would have been a lie. He couldn't because he was too anxious, it doesn;t have to be because he's not there, he was mentally unable at that moment.

You could also say "He's not feeling too good at the moment" and that would also be true.

But seven-day-weekend, it can be very hard to think of things like that on the spot, so although I know how you feel, as I hate to lie as well, there is nothng you can do now about it so you should try not to feel so bad.

skintchick

madison-nyc wrote: »

The fact that you don't have good memories of xmas seem to be a major factor here as if you'd have good memories of waiting for santa , putting the reindeer food out etc. , you wouldn't be going down this route, i'm sure.

Yes , there are many things about xmas that are 'magical' but the majority of them are santa related , you can't deny that.

I have good memories of Father Christmas, putting carrots and sherry out, waiting for the presents, etc.

I still choose not to do FC.

And in our house, our magical moments are not Santa-related. Your statement is not true for everyone therefore it's not very useful in this dicsussion.

madison-nyc

skintchick wrote: »

I have good memories of Father Christmas, putting carrots and sherry out, waiting for the presents, etc.

I still choose not to do FC.

And in our house, our magical moments are not Santa-related. Your statement is not true for everyone therefore it's not very useful in this dicsussion.

most of the statements on here aren't true for everyone?! if they were there wouldn't be a discussion to be had in the first place would there? so was a rather pointless comment to make and not very useful in this discussion ;0)

seven-day-weekend

skintchick wrote: »

I don't think that would have been a lie. He couldn't because he was too anxious, it doesn;t have to be because he's not there, he was mentally unable at that moment.

You could also say "He's not feeling too good at the moment" and that would also be true.

But seven-day-weekend, it can be very hard to think of things like that on the spot, so although I know how you feel, as I hate to lie as well, there is nothng you can do now about it so you should try not to feel so bad.

Oh I am fine now, would just rather it hadn't happened, thanks for your concern.