Not 'doing' Santa

skintchick

Mojisola wrote: »

No, it's knowing what's right for the person involved - that's why the sentence had the "If" at the beginning.

For me, not even with an if at the beginning.

Hence: in your opinion, not mine.

Mojisola

skintchick wrote: »

For me, not even with an if at the beginning.

Hence: in your opinion, not mine.

Does that mean you would say what you wanted, regardless of the effect it would have on the other person?

I would rather take their feelings into account.

skintchick

Mojisola wrote: »

Does that mean you would say what you wanted, regardless of the effect it would have on the other person?

I would rather take their feelings into account.

No I wouldn't.

I've already covered this. See above.

Mojisola

Mojisola wrote: »

If a quick "You're fine" gives that little bit of confidence, they're out the door and don't give what you said another thought, that would be appropriate.

skintchick wrote: »

No I wouldn't.

I've already covered this. See above.

There's too much up "above" to go trawling through it all again.

I honestly don't understand why, if it's right for the person involved, you don't think it's appropriate.

Person_one

skintchick wrote: »

No I wouldn't.

I've already covered this. See above.

So can I attempt to summarise your position on this?

You don't believe there are any situations where a white lie is the best option, you believe you can find a way to handle every situation without ever resorting to a white lie and its possible to do this without ever hurting, upsetting or disappointing somebody?

seven-day-weekend

Mojisola wrote: »

There's too much up "above" to go trawling through it all again.

I honestly don't understand why, if it's right for the person involved, you don't think it's appropriate.

Because it's lying? There are various ways of telling the truth without hurting someone's feelings.

(I've answered a question put to skintchick - this is my answer, not skintchick's)

And in reply to Person_one, above, sometimes people are hurt, upset or disappointed. That's life. You deal with it and move on.

I would be hurt, upset and disappointed if I found one of my loved ones had lied to me.

Paddles

On the topic, I love the whole santa thing, loved it as a child too although I don't ever remember believing in him (I had a lot of older cousins who were always happy to set me straight/mock me endlessly and so on). But I love it even more now because my kids do buy into it and it's exciting seeing their faces light up... that said I do think each to their own and I'm sure the OPs children will be fine.

Oh and I'm an atheist and have to remind myself of the "each to their own" weekly when my eldest starts banging on about God (how did he get religion and can it be returned?) and I have to bite my tongue

thatgirlsam

skintchick wrote: »

And that's not patronising at all, of course.

*where's that rolleyes smilie when you need it?*

Whoops, did you get 'out-patronised' there :rotfl:




Sorry, I've had a glass of wine

Mojisola

Mojisola wrote: »

I think on a lot of occasions, people aren't asking for an honest critique - it's rather like asking someone you meet "How are you?" - most people don't really want an honest answer about all the person's aches and pains, an "Alright, thanks" will do.

If a quick "You're fine" gives that little bit of confidence, they're out the door and don't give what you said another thought, that would be appropriate.

Quoting myself again - but I don't think that people are always asking for the truth when they ask these questions. That's why, especially with someone I know well, I would tailor my answer to the level of their question.

If my daughter wanted a serious talk about acne, how she looked, how it made her feel and about comments others made about it, my answers would be very different to the one I would give if she really just wanted a quick reassurance as she was on her way out.

madison-nyc

Would be interested to know what the OP's memories are of xmas as a child? I can remember it being such an exciting and magical time for me and my sister , cuddling up in bed together trying to stay awake for when santa arrived. It's a fabulous part of childhood that lasts for such a short time.

My kids are 5 and 3, I've shown them their PNP vids from santa today and seeing their faces light up in sheer disbelief is just priceless!

Seems just pointless to go against the whole tradition and fun of it. yes , i'm sure the kids will be fine , no long term damage will be done BUT they're missing out on those so much (IMO,obviously)