Not 'doing' Santa

seven-day-weekend

Treevo wrote: »

You really cannot compare your teenager to a teenager who doesn't have such a condition.

Possibly not but his condition might explain why we do not do white lies in our family. Even when my son was a child, if I said 'your painting is coming along fine', he would say 'no it isn't mum, you are just being nice'. There was no point trying to pull the wool over his eyes, he wouldn't have any of it!

I am very much this way by nature myself. As a child I was frightened of FC and hated Pantos because they did not keep to the story and told it wrong. I have sometimes wondered whether I am on the autistic spectrum myself.

notanewuser

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Possibly not but his condition might explain why we do not do white lies in our family. Even when my son was a child, if I said 'your painting is coming along fine', he would say 'no it isn't mum, you are just being nice'. There was no point trying to pull the wool over his eyes, he wouldn't have any of it!

I am very much this way by nature myself. As a child I was frightened of FC and hated Pantos because they did not keep to the story and told it wrong. I have sometimes wondered whether I am on the autistic spectrum myself.

We're all on it, just some are further along it than others.

And it is no bad thing.

seven-day-weekend

notanewuser wrote: »

We're all on it, just some are further along it than others.

And it is no bad thing.

Thanks. I also do not see it as a bad thing. I'm not sure everyone is on it, however.

OrkneyStar

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Thanks. I also do not see it as a bad thing. I'm not sure everyone is on it, however.

If you count a no score then I suppose we all are

seven-day-weekend

I have asked my husband what he would have said if he'd have had a teenage daughter who was asking whether her spots looked bad. He said he would have agreed with her that acne is horrible and re-assured her that it did not define who she was and tried to make her feel confident in herself.

He agreed with me that he wouldn't have said they were 'fine' when they were not.

thatgirlsam

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I have asked my husband what he would have said if he'd have had a teenage daughter who was asking whether her spots looked bad. He said he would have agreed with her that acne is horrible and re-assured her that it did not define who she was and tried to make her feel confident in herself.

He agreed with me that he wouldn't have said they were 'fine' when they were not.

He would have told her that her acne was horrible??

Aww! Gee, thanks Dad!!

Bitsy_Beans

thatgirlsam wrote: »

He would have told her that her acne was horrible??

Aww! Gee, thanks Dad!!

To be fair I read that as he was saying acne is horrible as in the condition rather than HER acne.

However remembering my own insecurities about the state of my skin as a teenager I would have been desperate for confirmation that they didn't look as bad as I thought rather than a sympathetic agreement on the awfulness of teenage spots.

thatgirlsam

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

To be fair I read that as he was saying acne is horrible as in the condition rather than HER acne.

However remembering my own insecurities about the state of my skin as a teenager I would have been desperate for confirmation that they didn't look as bad as I thought rather than a sympathetic agreement on the awfulness of teenage spots.

Same thing, if she has acne and Dad says acne is horrible, then that means her acne is horrible

Far too harsh for me - girls can be really insecure about this stuff and a knock to the confidence now from someone like your Dad could last a lifetime! Sounds dramatic but this is the sort of thing that can damage you!

Bitsy_Beans

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Same thing, if she has acne and Dad says acne is horrible, then that means her acne is horrible

Far too harsh for me - girls can be really insecure about this stuff and a knock to the confidence now from someone like your Dad could last a lifetime! Sounds dramatic but this is the sort of thing that can damage you!

I read it as horrible as in to experience rather than horrible to look at but I agree with your reasoning.

mumps

thatgirlsam wrote: »

I didn't try and pretend her spots don't exist

I said they looked ok when they don't

She's still gorgeous though

I am sure she is gorgeous but acne is horrible and can damage a teenagers self esteem. One of my sons had it, it did bother him, it wasn't quite the worst case of acne I have ever seen but it was up there. I don't know how bad your daughter's acne is but this might be an occasion for dealing with it if it is bad. If you see her doctor there are various prescriptions that can deal with this. My son went through the lot and ended up on Roaccutane, I agonised about this due to the side effects but I am glad we went with it. His sister had milder acne and topical antibiotics worked like magic. I think she sometimes forgot the tact thing when advising friends to get some, but they generally did and thanked her in the end.