Not 'doing' Santa

OrkneyStar

Treevo wrote: »

So what was the point of the thread if not to troll? You appear to have all your answers nicely packaged up.

Opinions? Discussion? Helps you see what you might encounter 'in real life'.....

mumps

OrkneyStar wrote: »

I would honestly say he was beautiful

Trust me, you would have been lying. He really was a baby that only a mother could find beautiful :rotfl:He is a very handsome man now as well as bright and caring and I got over it all and can laugh about the "Ugly Duckling" in the family. It only lasted weeks, well maybe a few months with me but for him he was fine in weeks. I can still feel the, not sure how to describe it pain isn't quite right, maybe anguish? I can still feel it if i think hard but in the end it was a good thing as my others were very beautiful babies, the sort people stop and admire in the street, and they are all healthy and successful so to sometimes remember that feeling is good and helps me to understand other people.

thatgirlsam

My dd who is 13 is going through a spotty phase

This morning she asks me - Does my face look ok Mum?

So I said yes, of course, you look fine, quit worrying.

Should I actually have said, no love, your face looks like a pizza today?

OrkneyStar

mumps wrote: »

Trust me, you would have been lying. He really was a baby that only a mother could find beautiful :rotfl:He is a very handsome man now as well as bright and caring and I got over it all and can laugh about the "Ugly Duckling" in the family. It only lasted weeks, well maybe a few months with me but for him he was fine in weeks. I can still feel the, not sure how to describe it pain isn't quite right, maybe anguish? I can still feel it if i think hard but in the end it was a good thing as my others were very beautiful babies, the sort people stop and admire in the street, and they are all healthy and successful so to sometimes remember that feeling is good and helps me to understand other people.

Trust me, I wouldn't.
I don't mean aesthetically beautiful, I mean him just being there, being alive, that is beautiful. Had you said to me 'he isn't beautiful, he's bruised, hurt etc' I would say 'he is, the bruises etc (sorry don't know the exact details) might not look nice, but they will fade, he is a new life, that itself is the whole beauty of it'. Not sure if I am explaining this very well. As I said, if I was with you in person, a friend, I would also try to convey compassion regarding the bruises, how you were feeling etc, but overall would want you to know how very very amazing he (and you) were. Phew, this is getting a bit deep now, but it is interesting to hear other slants on the whole 'lie or not' debate.

OrkneyStar

thatgirlsam wrote: »

My dd who is 13 is going through a spotty phase

This morning she asks me - Does my face look ok Mum?

So I said yes, of course, you look fine, quit worrying.

Should I actually have said, no love, your face looks like a pizza today?

Wow, more hard ones!
I suspect the last response might not go down too well, thanks for bringing this up....has given me 8 years to think about that when DS is that age!!!
Technically you didn't lie though, she asked about her face, you said she looked fine. Did her face shine like a beacon or overall did she look ok?
:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

thatgirlsam

OrkneyStar wrote: »

Wow, more hard ones!
I suspect the last response might not go down too well, thanks for bringing this up....has given me 8 years to think about that when DS is that age!!!
Technically you didn't lie though, she asked about her face, you said she looked fine. Did her face shine like a beacon or overall did she look ok?
:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

I said in direct response to her question, you look fine, meaning her face looks fine. That is what she asked me. It didn't really.

It will pass and her skin will get better but I do not want her worrying too much about it! Girls are under enough pressure to look perfect as it is. Probably someone will point it out at school today but wasn't it better for her to think I thought it looked ok.

Really...why would I want to hurt her feelings like that

Bitsy_Beans

OrkneyStar wrote: »

Wow, more hard ones!
I suspect the last response might not go down too well, thanks for bringing this up....has given me 8 years to think about that when DS is that age!!!
Technically you didn't lie though, she asked about her face, you said she looked fine. Did her face shine like a beacon or overall did she look ok?
:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

To say she asked about her face is a bit disingenuous though. Her mum knows given her age and the appearance of spots she's specifically asking about the acne, not her eyebrows etc even if its not verbalised. She might not ask directly "do my spots look bad" but that question is implicit in the original question. One presumes on weeks when spots aren't an issue she doesn't ask if her face is fine then.

Thatgirlsam as an aside does your DD wear make up? Considering I was still having breakouts in my 30s I have found mineral make up (Lily Lolo, elemental beauty) have helped my spots no end. I appreciate some of it is hormonal but the zinc contained made a big difference to my breakouts.

OrkneyStar

thatgirlsam wrote: »

I said in direct response to her question, you look fine, meaning her face looks fine. That is what she asked me. It didn't really.

It will pass and her skin will get better but I do not want her worrying too much about it! Girls are under enough pressure to look perfect as it is. Probably someone will point it out at school today but wasn't it better for her to think I thought it looked ok.

Really...why would I want to hurt her feelings like that

Like I said, that IS a hard one.
I hope it passes soon. Teenage years are hard and there is so much pressure on kids these days.
The :eek::eek::eek::eek: was because you are making me think now, not in any other way, just in case you wonder.

CH27

This thread is so blooming sad. People trying to score points & get validation of their actions & words.

OrkneyStar

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

To say she asked about her face is a bit disingenuous though. Her mum knows given her age and the appearance of spots she's specifically asking about the acne, not her eyebrows etc even if its not verbalised. She might not ask directly "do my spots look bad" but that question is implicit in the original question. One presumes on weeks when spots aren't an issue she doesn't ask if her face is fine then.

Thatgirlsam as an aside does your DD wear make up? Considering I was still having breakouts in my 30s I have found mineral make up (Lily Lolo, elemental beauty) have helped my spots no end. I appreciate some of it is hormonal but the zinc contained made a big difference to my breakouts.

Thanks.
I see I have much to learn in the whole teenager thing!! DS is only 5 so I have 8 years to learn off all of you lot who have them already (sorry not assuming you have, but thatgirlsam and so on).