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Not 'doing' Santa
Comments
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peachyprice wrote: »:rotfl::rotfl:
Those responses are so flakey and totally transparent and are really in complete opposition to your attempt to portray your self as a totally honest person. Pah.
Those responses conjure one word to me - Patronising.0 -
It's up to each individual, but I think it's a shame not to let kids join in with the magic! This also runs the risk of spoiling it for other children as kids will tell each other santa isn't real! Christmas is so magical for children, but that said i can also understand reasons for not doing the santa thing.0
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pulliptears wrote: »It is an extreme example and the child in it is my cousin, James who died just short of his 6th birthday.
James never knew he was dying and as such lived out the time he had happily and carefree without the cloud of death hanging over him. Being honest with him would have led to 2 years of a small boy wondering when death was going to come for him.
I am so sorry to hear this, for you and your whole family.
I am glad he enjoyed his last years.
I am sure your family did what they felt was best all round.
I don't know what he was ill with, perhaps with some illnesses there is no indication of death being near (worsening symptoms etc) so it is possible to protect a child, with other illnesses I expect it is more obvious that they are certainly not getting better, may be in pain etc.Ermutigung wirkt immer besser als Verurteilung.
Encouragement always works better than judgement.0 -
We asked our son the other day if he liked our newly-decorated room. He said, 'no, it is not to my taste'. Fair enough as far as I am concerned. (He has Asperger's syndrome and doesn't do white lies).
As to 'is my baby the cutest', I would say all babies are cute and all parents think theirs is the cutest. In fact I have said this to someone recently.
The question, 'is my ex's new wife prettier than me', if she was, I would say something like there are all different types of beauty and she hasn't got your beautiful skin/eyes/hair/figure. If she wasn't then i would just say no!(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
OrkneyStar wrote: »If I said 'no you look crap' that would be unkind, if I said 'you look great' and she didn't that would be unkind too.
Not in my opinion.
If a bride asked me, decked in her finery just before leaving for church, how she looked, my immediate answer would be along the lines of "You look absolutely beautiful" whether her dress was to my taste or not. And it would be said in such a way that she would believe that she did. I can't believe ANYONE thinks that any other answer is acceptable or not unkind
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And like I said I would have preferred the honest answer to the one you originally suggested which always feels like a smack in the face.
I am honest sometimes, sometimes I give the one you don't like so much, I do try to gauge it. Most of my friends don't think me hurtful, nasty etc, perhaps if I knew you in real life, say your expressions, knew a little about you I would be able to answer you in a way I felt was honest, but that you'd not be appalled at!
I prefer brutal honesty too (to me I mean), but there does seem to be some who prefer the other way!Ermutigung wirkt immer besser als Verurteilung.
Encouragement always works better than judgement.0 -
Not in my opinion.
If a bride asked me, decked in her finery just before leaving for church, how she looked, my immediate answer would be along the lines of "You look absolutely beautiful" whether her dress was to my taste or not. And it would be said in such a way that she would believe that she did. I can't believe ANYONE thinks that any other answer is acceptable or not unkind
You are entitled to that opinion, me mine, I don't think the right or wrong of this is set in stone for everyone!
In this instant I might say 'oh you look so happy and radiant'. Generally that is true and how can someone be offended by that?
Ermutigung wirkt immer besser als Verurteilung.
Encouragement always works better than judgement.0 -
seven-day-weekend wrote: »We asked our son the other day if he liked our newly-decorated room. He said, 'no, it is not to my taste'. Fair enough as far as I am concerned.
As to 'is my baby the cutest', I would say all babies are cute and all parents think theirs is the cutest. In fact I have said this to someone recently.
The question, 'is my ex's new wife prettier than me', if she was, I would say something like there are all different types of beauty and she hasn't got your beautiful skin/eyes/hair/figure. If she wasn't then i would just say no!
Yep, though apparently not acceptable responses.........:rotfl:Ermutigung wirkt immer besser als Verurteilung.
Encouragement always works better than judgement.0 -
OrkneyStar wrote: »I am so sorry to hear this, for you and your whole family.
I am glad he enjoyed his last years.
I am sure your family did what they felt was best all round.
I don't know what he was ill with, perhaps with some illnesses there is no indication of death being near (worsening symptoms etc) so it is possible to protect a child, with other illnesses I expect it is more obvious that they are certainly not getting better, may be in pain etc.
This was many years ago, he had a reoccurring brain tumor, he beat it once, sadly the second time was inoperable.
The point is it can never be as black and white as some people on here make out.
Another example is when I was nursing my Dad who died from lung cancer, we kept many things from my Mum at Dad's request because it was better for her not to worry. When she asked why we needed dark towels we lied and said we didn't especially but they look cleaner for longer. We didn't say "because with lung cancer you can haemorrhage blood from your mouth and bleed to death so the MacMillan nurses advised us to have dark towels so its less upsetting should that happen.
If my Mother had known that she would never have slept without worry, she would never have left his side. After Dad died and she found out the extent of what Dad and I had kept from her she was grateful because she was spared the true horrors of it.
So many extreme examples, but to me they all illustrate why its sometimes better to paint a different picture.0 -
Not in my opinion.
If a bride asked me, decked in her finery just before leaving for church, how she looked, my immediate answer would be along the lines of "You look absolutely beautiful" whether her dress was to my taste or not. And it would be said in such a way that she would believe that she did. I can't believe ANYONE thinks that any other answer is acceptable or not unkind
I would probably say that too, because SHE looks beautiful, even if you don't like her dress.(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0
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