A bit of a difficult one...

NatalieH80

Hello. I've been reading this forum for a while but I've never posted before. However, I could really do with a bit of advice so I'm hoping someone might be able to help!

My 17 year old cousin is currently staying with us. For the purpose of this post, we'll call her Sarah. She lives with her parents about 100 miles away but she's managed to secure some valuable work experience with a company near us so my husband and I kindly offered her a bed here for two weeks. She arrived last Saturday and will be going home this weekend.

Since getting here, Sarah has been very interested in my husband. They've met several times before but never really chatted all that much. It started off as her just being friendly but it has gradually progressed to her blatantly flirting with him. She doesn't do it when I'm around but my husband is obviously telling me. We decided to just let her have a bit of a crush as it will (hopefully) die down when she goes home.

However, last night I went out with a friend. Sarah said she wasn't feeling well and that she'd be having an early night so my husband was going to get himself a takeaway and put the football on. At 10pm, I received a phone call from him asking me to come home immediately. I got back to hear (and see) that Sarah had basically tried to seduce him. She apparently wanted her "first time" to be with him and got extremely upset when he turned her down. She now won't talk to either of us and does her best to completely avoid us.

I explained everything to her mum this afternoon on the phone (rightly or wrongly). She has asked if I could have a chat with Sarah and see what's going on because they're not very close. I really don't know how to handle this. I obviously never expected anything to happen! My husband is 36 and (aside from clearly being married to me) I feel as though she should be focusing on boys her own age.

I would really appreciate any help/advice. Our daughter is only two so I've never really had to deal with a teenager before! Maybe I shouldn't be getting involved at all though... It's just such an awkward situation.

Thanks in advance.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

I think you should send her back to her mothers in the interests of family harmony.

17 is old enough to know that you don't make a pass at someone else's husband.

j.e.j.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow wrote: »

I think you should send her back to her mothers in the interests of family harmony.

17 is old enough to know that you don't make a pass at someone else's husband.

and especially not your cousin's :eek:

NatalieH80

I've suggested to her mum that we should perhaps think about her going home earlier but no-one can pick her up until the weekend, my husband uses the car for work so I can't take her and her mum doesn't want her travelling on the train alone! I'm at a bit of a loss.

My poor husband is beating himself up over this too.

j.e.j.

I'd say she is her parents' responsibility and you have every right to ask her to leave.

pink_princess

It sounds to me like she has low self esteem.

Her Mum needs to boost it through a lot of positive feedback.

Turtle

17 is plenty old enough to be travelling alone on a train. I know she's officially still a child, but i wouldn't want her in the house after that. She must be mortified as well and probably wants to leave.

Hermia

NatalieH80 wrote: »

She apparently wanted her "first time" to be with him and got extremely upset when he turned her down. She now won't talk to either of us and does her best to completely avoid us.

Whatever you do don't leave her on her own with him again just in case she misreads the situation or wants to get back at him and cries rape. I remember a girl at my school whose advances were turned down by a male teacher and she cried rape. She wasn't a horrible girl, I think she just needed an outlet for her embarrassment and anger.

I expect your cousin will be cringing about this in 20 years time!

Morganarla

17 is PLENTY old enough to know the difference between right and wrong.

17 is PLENTY old enough to know that you do NOT make a pass at someone's husband.

17 is MORE THAN PLENTY old enough to be travelling on the train alone.

From a once 17 year old who travelled regularly on trains alone, (successfully) nicked someone's husband, knew EXACTLY what I was doing, and as a result got the beating of my life from the wife when she found out (we had a relationship akin to that of very close sisters although no blood relation).

I deserved everything I got.

Send her packing. Now.

NatalieH80

I think I'm going to phone her parents again tomorrow morning and say that, if no-one can come and collect her, I will be paying for her train ticket and sending her on her way.

I'm getting myself more and more angry about this now. I feel embarrassed for her.

Fire_Fox

She is old enough to travel on the train alone if you wish her to leave. I don't see a problem with her having a loving relationship with a man in his thirties but NOT a married man and NOT after less than two weeks.