Wedding invite and plus one (or not)

samtoby

Why do people want to take children to weddings anyway. Unless the child is directly involved I think it's pretty boring for them. My son would like an evening do with a disco but the last full day wedding we went to he was done by seven. Too long for kids if it starts at mid day etc. but of course that's my opinion.

balletshoes

MarilynMonroe wrote: »

I'm talking about a new baby sitting on your knee, hardly going to bump up costs. And I would personally never leave a child of mine with a sitter.

but thats a choice you are making, just like the choice of the bride and groom to not have children at their wedding.

I live hundreds of miles away from most of my family, have a child, and if I do get a wedding invitation and it doesn't specifically invite my child, I will ask my in-laws or a good friend to look after her, and I'll go to the wedding if I possibly can. I have no problems with anyone choosing not to invite children to their weddings.

sassyblue

MarilynMonroe wrote: »

I think not inviting children is really rude when its family and they know its impractical for you not to bring them, but the person I am talking about is all for show anyway - children and babies, even though family, would have spoilt the effect.
Still saved me buying a card and present kerching!

My cousin did this and wondered why we weren't going, the wedding was 200 miles away and our little one was 3 years old. Was l supposed to leave him a pack-up? Bridezillas, gotta love them :rotfl:

OP, if l had that invite l would have asked you like your friend did. It didn't say 'plus 1' and l've never had a wedding invite addressed to me only so you can't complain she's asked. It's difficult because you're upto capacity so just explain that and hope your workmates don't get offended. I'm not saying she should get offended but people do despite your best intentions.

sulkisu

skateykatey wrote: »

Thanks to all for your comments.

I think it's fair to say that I'm partly at fault for not explaining fully on the invites who exactly was invited and some guests were equally at fault for making an assumption.

what is clear is that, it's an absolute minefield!

With any luck, there won't be that many 'uninvited' guests (the wongly assuming guests are most definately in the minority) and I'm sure that on the actual day, I won't actually be that bothered by a few extra guests...unless they eat all the profiteroles, in which case, I will have the mother of all paddy's

Don't make the same mistake of assuming things. There may well be others who have not said anything but will be bringing the plus one, because they think it's okay. Others may not have intended to bring partners but will assume that it's okay because they know that A N Other is bringing theirs.

To avoid confusion and embarassment on the day, why not just spell it out to everyone - 'no partners unless specified'.

Kildare

If you are not inviting +1s (just the person on the invite) then you need to be specific when you hand out the invite. I think most people, particularly if married or in a long-term relationship will expect to be invited to a wedding a long with their OH. I probably wouldn't go to a work colleagues wedding if my OH wasn't invited as then its just a work do not a wedding.

It's the same with children. If you choose not to have children at your wedding then don't just send the invite to Mum&Dad as they may well assume their children are invited - you have to write a note somewhere with the invitation to make it clear.

As for children at a wedding it's a personal choice - I know some people think children make a wedding. In our case we said no children as I happen think they get bored, scream during the ceremony and cause their parents to leave early (at least at all the weddings I've been too!). Just my opinion. All of my guests knew from the outset that children wouldn't be invited, and only one didn't come. Most commented that it was nice to have an adult day out and a good friend told me she wouldn't have brought them anyway as they want to let their hair down

lostinrates

samtoby wrote: »

Why do people want to take children to weddings anyway. Unless the child is directly involved I think it's pretty boring for them. My son would like an evening do with a disco but the last full day wedding we went to he was done by seven. Too long for kids if it starts at mid day etc. but of course that's my opinion.

I think it depends on the wedding and the people. I have been to weddings I love with children there, and ones without them.

(we don't have kids ourselves but like them a lot). We were planning an afternnon in to late night celebration (we never had it) and we were not planning on inviting children, not because we dislike them, but because we thought it would be inappropriate for the hours and type of function.

Stephb1986_2

We're getting married in just less than 18 months, we are limited on number 60 for the day 100 for the evening. So in that case we're not inviting children to the day time as we can fill the seats with more family adults.

Planning a wedding is difficult enough really without all the worry about what guests are going to do with their kids if your inviting a couple who have kids usually their other half has parents/brothers/sisters they could leave the kids with so I don't see why people make it out to be such a big deal that their kids can't come. Fair enough if they are a single parent they might struggle but there is usually someone who can look after a child for a few hours surely?

Steph xx

skateykatey

Me back again.

Re children; as it's a separate party to the wedding do (in which children are invited) there are no children coming for the simple reason that most of our friends have v young (pre school or just at school) age. There will be a loud band playing and, I'm guessing, a lot of alcohol drunk so really not a suitable place for children. Everyone knows this and agrees and if this means that they can't make it, we understand.

The plus one side of things only relates to my work colleagues. All other invitees are close friends and, as such, we know their partners.

Going from what the work colleagues have said, so far only 3 of them have assumed that it includs a plus one. The majority of them, after some polite and discreet probing today, automatically assumed that because it was only their name on the invite, they were the only ones invited.

I'm figuring that at most, we will have an additional 5 people to cater for and that there will be plenty of food for them in the original numbers.

I'm still a bit miffed but not enough to cause a scene.

newcook

I would never assume that an invite was for me and someone else unless it said +1 – as the saying goes, to assume makes an @ss out of u and me!

As for children at weddings/parties – while I love kids, if I was getting married I don’t think I would invite the kids as there are so many! Even with just the children of my 5 close friends it would mean another 14 places!

thegirlintheattic

For a wedding I would expect a plus one or I wouldn't go. Many people don't want to go to such an occasion on their own.

I would check with the couple if it wasn't spelt out, but would consider it poor hosting if there wasn't a +1.