Wedding invite and plus one (or not)

Fire_Fox

peachyprice wrote: »

Perhaps some of your colleagues have made this assumption because it's widely accepted that while couples are restricted in numbers they can invite to their wedding, whether financial reasons or due to the size of the venue, the evening do is traditionally open to all those that you couldn't fit in at the wedding breakfast and those less important, they tend to be pretty much open house.

As this isn't actually your wedding, it's a party to celebrate your wedding that will have taken place 2 weeks before I can see why they might assume their partners would be invited too. I don't actually think it's that unreasonable in these circumstances and is totally different to assuming that you can bring a +1 to the actual wedding/sit down meal.

Traditionally the bride and groom left well before the evening ended, traditionally the gathering was in the church hall or the pub and half the village was invited by word of mouth only. It's not open house, it is an invite only event, the evening dos I have been to in recent years have not been open house at all, even if the ones you have been to have. An invite is an invite, you don't assume anyone is invited that is not specified, simple etiquette.

lolavix

Sounds like a minefield to be honest...which is exactly why I will be sodding off abroad to get married! People expect far too much nowadays.

zcrat41

You did not need to be more explicit on the invites. The proper way is to invite by name the person/people invited so it's either Mrs James Bloggs or Mr and Mrs James Bloggs or Mr and Mrs James Bloggs, Betty and Bob if kids are invited. It's incredible rude of a guest to even dream of otherwise.

However, I do think it's a little off to invite people to a reception without their partner - especially so if they are married or in a long term relationship. At our wedding, I wanted to invite 2 ex colleagues whose husbands I had never met and I just couldn't afford to have them. A quick phone call before the invites went out to explain my problem and they were fine about it. I would have either invited their partners in your position if I knew them but, if its merely a girlfriend whose name you can't remember - a quick phone call previous to say that Numbers are dictating .... would probably suffice.

74jax

OP.please come and join us on the weddings board where we even have a bridezilla thread for you need it - and no you're not being now. It's a sub board off the Christmas board.

Our wedding is small, several friends are just invited as a one. No part,us ones. I don't want to look out and lots of people I do not know, but my choice and that of my guests to come or not.

I don't mind my OH going places were I'm not invited. He went to a friends wedding in barbarism and I didn't go, didn't stop him.

YOUR WEDDING, YOUR DAY, YOUR CHOICES.

See you on the weddings board :-)

tylerdurden_167

I would also add that if you are having a buffet, it is not necessary to cater for the exact amount of guests you expect as not all will bother with the food.

When I got married I was advised by the caterer at the reception that even though we were expecting approx 120 guests it was only worth putting out enough food for 80.

MarilynMonroe_2

squirrelchops wrote: »

I would never assume it means +1. My partner recently received a wedding invite - it just had his name on the front with no...' xxx and xxx are invited to the wedding of'. Actually quite an odd invite!

I asked OH if I was invited too as it wasn't clear. Apparently I am.

If you wernt invited would you have found it rude? I would have.

I didnt go to my cousins wedding because it was no children allowed. Quite where people were meant to leave their kids i have no idea. I don't think people realise how things come accross,and then there is ill feeling.

lostinrates

MarilynMonroe wrote: »

If you wernt invited would you have found it rude? I would have.

I didnt go to my cousins wedding because it was no children allowed. Quite where people were meant to leave their kids i have no idea. I don't think people realise how things come accross,and then there is ill feeling.

I don't think it's 'rude' not to invite random plus ones. But living together partners and spouses should be considered IMO. However, I do not think its rude to not invite children. Many 'functions' are unsuitable for kids anyway, though if you don't want to or cannot arrange childcare and want to go it must feel a little alienating. I don't see there is much anyone can do about it though.

KxMx

If I got an invitation with my name on, I would 100% assume it is for me and me alone.
Unless I see the word "guest" or "plus one" I would never turn up with anyone else but myself.

coolcait

74jax wrote: »

I don't mind my OH going places were I'm not invited. He went to a friends wedding in barbarism and I didn't go, didn't stop him.

:eek:

:rotfl:

That was very broadminded of you!

74jax

coolcait wrote: »

:eek:

:rotfl:

That was very broadminded of you!

blooming predictive text! :rotfl: