The theory of the second level grandmother

ognum

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

You are joking! The one time my SIL's mother babysat ended in tears, my mother is at my brother's several times a week babysitting.

You can't generalise like that and to be honest, it's a bit of an insult to do so. Perhaps she just needs to engage more with her grandchildren?

Well it does seem from some of the replies here that it does apply in some cases so maybe she is right in her family.

Mado

fluffnutter wrote: »

I think a lot depends on geography too - it's sometimes difficult to develop a relationship with grandparents overseas, for example, regardless of whether they're the mother's parents or the father's.

Completely agree.
Age/health is another factor.
I don't see my mother often as she is in not in the UK. As a result she is far less close to my children than my lovely MIL is.
Also, she is quite a bit older than my MIL, so now, I wouldn't ask her to look after them as I think they would be too tiring.

I think if a daughter has a very strong relationship with her parents she is less likely to involve her in-laws. But it's not systematic.

As a mother to a girl and 2 boys, I suspect I will require a lot of diplomacy with my possible DILs, but with the right attitude, everything is achievable. I feel that my relationship with DD is strong enough that it should come easier.

Sambucus_Nigra

ognum wrote: »

Well it does seem from some of the replies here that it does apply in some cases so maybe she is right in her family.

Yeah - in HER family. Not in everyone else's. That's what makes it a bit of an insult to generalise. You do know what a generalisation is don't you?

ognum

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Yeah - in HER family. Not in everyone else's. That's what makes it a bit of an insult to generalise. You do know what a generalisation is don't you?

Wow, if you read my original post you will see that I have suggested it is my friends theory and asked for other peoples opinion.

Nowhere have I suggested it is a universal fact, I have simply asked if others feel the same way. It appears some do and some don't.

I am sure you have theory's about things that others don't agree with, this doesn't stop you testing your theory.

You seem to be very upset by this question, I am sorry if you feel personally slighted by it. It is just a theory.

try to be a little more relaxed about something that was just put on here for comments!!

Sambucus_Nigra

ognum wrote: »

Wow, if you read my original post you will see that I have suggested it is my friends theory and asked for other peoples opinion.

Nowhere have I suggested it is a universal fact, I have simply asked if others feel the same way. It appears some do and some don't.

I am sure you have theory's about things that others don't agree with, this doesn't stop you testing your theory.

You seem to be very upset by this question, I am sorry if you feel personally slighted by it. It is just a theory.

try to be a little more relaxed about something that was just put on here for comments!!

It's not a theory! It's the ramblings of a woman who is evidently shunned by her daughters in law.

ognum

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

It's not a theory! It's the ramblings of a woman who is evidently shunned by her daughters in law.

I have now looked back at your replies to other peoples posts on this forum, I understand now that there is only black and white for you and your ability to debate is limited.

You have made a statement about someone you know nothing about from very limited details, if you look back at the response from others they have discussed their relationships not attacked others.

Why is it necessary to be so aggressive to everyone?

Sambucus_Nigra

ognum wrote: »

Why is it necessary to be so aggressive to everyone?

I'm not aggressive...I take the words that you type and respond.

It's not my fault you don't like a different viewpoint.

If it makes you feel easier with your life - yes, all mummies of boys are nasty people and should not be allowed near children of girls. Only mummies of girls are worth anything to their grandchildren.

Better?

jackomdj

Each family to their own! Out of my parents and OH's I did try to share it out, this required them staying here and looking after the girls during the daytime, but overnighting for a few days as they all live away. However oh's mum was not a hands on mother nor a hands on grandmother and last year she did something that made me decide she will NEVER look after the children again! So now it is just my parents. Oh's mum still sees the girls but it was/is only a few times a year and she does not really do anything with them when she sees them.

ognum

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

I'm not aggressive...I take the words that you type and respond.

It's not my fault you don't like a different viewpoint.

If it makes you feel easier with your life - yes, all mummies of boys are nasty people and should not be allowed near children of girls. Only mummies of girls are worth anything to their grandchildren.

Better?

Sorry but you really are aggressive

pondskater_2

ognum wrote: »

Sorry but you really are aggressive

A bit of a 'nippy sweety' as we say hereabouts