Long distance relationships- it's all faling apart

pelirocco

Tbh I think you need to take the hint .If he wanted you two to be together nothing would get in the way , sounds as tho he is trying to get you to end it

FattyBettyBoo

sounds as tho he is trying to get you to end it

That is exactly what happened in his two other long term relationships (one 5 years, one 3 1/2 years). He started putting his friends first and putting not much effort into the relationship. This led to lots of discussions like the one we had last night, and a couple of 'lets try to make it works'. In the end they both left him.

JimmyTheWig

FattyBettyBoo wrote: »

I work but I get a good amount of holidays. I was thinking that we could go for the whole summer holidays next year as a trial, but now I dont know if we'll make it that far.

I agree. From what you've said if you carry on like you are I can't see you being together (happily, at least) at Christmas.

Me and DD are supposed to be going down together next week and we have an open return. But its hard to keep her occupied all day when he is at work without all her toys etc. And it gets expensive too - that is the other big issue we have as we dont have much spare cash

Then take some toys. Obviously you can't take bucket-fulls on the train, but you can take some favourites.
Don't know whereabouts he lives in London, but a bus pass for the day for you is only £4.20 (as many busses / journeys within Greater London as you want, but doesn't cover the underground, etc, for this price) and your daughter will travel for free. Plenty of free stuff going on in London - the South Bank is always good for a wander if the weather is nice plus obvious things like Trafalgar Square, the museums, Hamleys, etc.

You could always get toys from charity shops / car boot / freecycle while you're there and leave them there for next time.

I'd say go for it and see how it works. Live as much as possible as it would be if you were to move there. If at the end of that you think it would work if you moved then start thinking about the real practicalities of it, but if this experience shows you that he's just not ready to live with you and can't carry on with the long distance then it's time to call it a day.

Errata

FattyBettyBoo wrote: »

That is exactly what happened in his two other long term relationships (one 5 years, one 3 1/2 years). He started putting his friends first and putting not much effort into the relationship. This led to lots of discussions like the one we had last night, and a couple of 'lets try to make it works'. In the end they both left him.

Doesn't that tell you everything you need to know?

CH27

FattyBettyBoo wrote: »

That is exactly what happened in his two other long term relationships (one 5 years, one 3 1/2 years). He started putting his friends first and putting not much effort into the relationship. This led to lots of discussions like the one we had last night, and a couple of 'lets try to make it works'. In the end they both left him.

So why prolong the agony?

19lottie82

FattyBettyBoo wrote: »

Last week he spent 5 days in Magaluf with his mates and - exactly like my 6yo DD would do - seems to be having a tantrum now he's back.

I would be thinking that he was up to no good while he was away and is now panicking about what "he wants". Sorry.

FattyBettyBoo

I would be thinking that he was up to no good while he was away and is now panicking about what "he wants". Sorry.

I asked him that and he didnt. He was being very honest so I believe him. Said it was all about fun with the lads. I just think that a gang of 7 lads drinking and partying is far more fun than boring old me.

Saturnalia

He's 37 and still more interested in being a lad than a partner and stepdad. (Magaluf, really!) Do you think he's ever going to grow up?

FattyBettyBoo

34, but get your point. But in his defence he is never the instigator, he just wants to go because everyone else is. there are 7 of them ranging from 30 to 36 and they do loads of lads stuff. But like he said, they get to go home to the misses after.

19lottie82

FattyBettyBoo wrote: »

34, but get your point. But in his defence he is never the instigator, he just wants to go because everyone else is. there are 7 of them ranging from 30 to 36 and they do loads of lads stuff. But like he said, they get to go home to the misses after.

i think that you have this idea in your head that if you all lived down there together, he would change and everything would be ok. it wouldn't, he's a spoilt manchild that isn't ready for the responsibility of an adult relationship, or caring for your DD in the way that she deserves.

to put it bluntly......have a bit of self respect, put her first and nip it in the bud now. don't go chasing after him this weekend.