Long distance relationships- it's all faling apart

Stephb1986_2

He sounds like a right immature, selfish pig. He was an ex for a reason love it really should of stayed that way.

If he isn't grown up (or growing up) at 34 he never will do. He wants to spend more time with his mates than you?? Are you for real that you want a relationship like that. It sounds to me that he just want's you for a leg over when your there and the rest of the time he's happy to be partying with his mates.

If I was you I would make him an ex again and move on, no more what if's you tried he didn't leave it be.

Sorry if I sound harsh. Good luck

Steph xx

RadoJo

So, from his point of view, the ideal situation would be that you and your daughter would move into his Mum's house so he could go out with his mates in the evening and you would be what? Waiting up for him? Making him breakfast the next morning when he's hungover? Tying to keep your daughter quiet so that he can sleep off his night out? How does he actually see things working out if you did go to live down there?
And on a completely different note, how often does your daughter see her father now? Would you be able to keep that up if you moved in with your current boyfriend?

System

If he was serious about you he'd be making an effort to get a place of his own away from his Mum.

FattyBettyBoo

Just want to say a massive thank you to everyone on here.

I went down because I couldn't stand the thought of just never seeing him again, and because he said that a great weekend had a good chance of fixing things.

Friday night and Saturday day things were amazing. On sat eve he asked he if we could go round to hs friend's house as it was a party for friend's birthday. He said "if we're going to be Ok then yes, if not then no, as your friend knows exactly what has been going on'. His response was "OK we'll not go then'. Complete kick in the teeth.

We got back to his around 9 with the plan to get a take away and watch x factor etc. At 9.30 he says he really wants to go. I say I'd rather we didn't. He sais he wants to go alone. I say that I'd really rather not be left on my own, hundreds of miles away from home, without my daughter, knowing that my relationship had pretty much just ended. After a bit of an argument and me begging him not to go, he walked out and didn't come back until 1 o clock the next day. I broke my heart that night and thank god his mum was there. When he got back I pretty much had nothing left to say to him. We acted in a civil manner and I got on the train yesterday morning to come home.

Leaving was terrible ... packing all the stuff that I'd left at his for the past 8 months, saying goodbye to his Mum who I am really close to, getting on the train for the last time .... but it wasn't half as bad as I expected it to be.

I know that I love him and didn't want to loose him, but I have this enormous sense of relief that I didn't expect. I think a lot of that is down to all the reasons that everyone on here has pointed out above. I think I knew what everyone on here would say when I wrote the post - and I obviously needed to hear it. Finally listening to my head over my heart!!

Thanks again, most of these posts were hard to read last week but have definitely helped me get through this x

happyhaddock_2

I only read through your story this morning and to be perfectly honest with you I am glad that you have parted. I think he will always put himself first with little regard for you and your daughters feelings and you both deserve much better.
Good luck I hope things get easier for you, I'm sure you've made the right decision x

BlondeHeadOn

Well done ! I feel the relief with you, it all sounded just too much for you to bear.


You can start to live your life for you and your child now, you are no longer in limbo.

Take care of yourself, but again .... very "well done" !

Dodgy-looking hug below:

:grouphug:

beccals

Well done! Never easy and even harder to do when you're away from home!

It definitely sounds like the right decision, good luck with everything x

Mrs_justjohn

I have to say that I believe you have made entirely the right decision. I don't believe that the distance was really a factor in this relationship as he would have been just as immature and selfish if you lived up the road!

I think the fact you lived so far apart probably helped the relationship and it would have been over a lot sooner had you spent more time with him (i.e lived closer).

I had a LDR with my OH (I was in London he was in Scotland) it was always agree that if we lived together I would move to Scotland but I said there was no way I was moving to Scotland leaving a job I had been in for 21 years and uprooting my two kids and leaving all my family until I knew it was for keeps (as much as anyone could know...LOL). My OH said that he would move in with me for 6-12
months as a 'trial run' BEFORE I moved back to Scotland with him.

That is what love is - reasoning, putting other people first, not being selfish, compromise, maturity, common sense and a whole host of other things that your EX wasn't displaying!

I have been in Scotland now for nearly 6 years and we are ALL very happy :-)

Stephb1986_2

Well done! his loss love he isn't worth your time.

Chin up massive hugs

Steph xx

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Well done. You've escaped a child who threw your relationship away with a stamp of his little foot and a flip of the hair because you didn't want him to go out to play with his friend.


Yes, it hurts, but spiteful little children can do that to a person.

Make a point of blocking his number, or he'll be back on the phone next time he hasn't got an invitation to go out and pull, expecting you to come trotting down to him again.

Manchildren are best left with their mummies.