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Long distance relationships- it's all faling apart
Comments
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FattyBettyBoo wrote: »Manchild lives with his Mummy! HE moved back in when his last relationship ended 2 years ago and has stayed as he doesn't earn enough to live alone in London.
His Dad died 9 months ago and he and his mum live in a 4 bed house. They hardly see each other tbh. DD has a room when we stay there and his mum said we could move in if and when we wanted to.
Oh, ding dong.
He's never going to grow up.Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear0 -
peachyprice wrote: »Oh, ding dong.
He's never going to grow up.
This^^ and by the sounds of it: He's just not that into you. He has intimated that himself by declaring that he wants to be with his friends.4.30: conduct pigeon orchestra...0 -
Have been there! I was about 100 miles away from my ex, and it became such a one sided relationship. Long distance is hard enough but you both have to be willing to work at it.
It's never easy to end or even contemplate ending a relationship, but just try and think what if your friend was going through this? Would you tell her she should stay with him?
Overall it doesn't sound like he really makes you happy (correct me if I'm wrong) and that, along with your daughter's well being, is what should come first.Total Debt - £17,850.57
Long road to being debt free!0 -
Long distance relationships can and do work...but both people needs to prioritise them and sacrifice other things for them... You also have to put your daughter first (school, family ties etc). We managed 2 years long distance (5+hours) - BUT we missed out on lots of things to have time together and time with his daughter always came first even if that made it harder for us. Once work allowed I moved to his town so he could stay near his daughter and we will be here till she grows up.
He sounds like he want to have his cake and eat it - no growing up... If that is what you want for your family, fine - but after all this time I wouldn't wait for him to change any time soon.0 -
Yes long distance relationships can and do work but youve both got to be commited to it. It doesnt seem like your chap is.:(This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0
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FattyBettyBoo wrote: »he lives in a busy part of london, i live in in the countryside, where compared to london, there is nothing to do. The weekends we spend in London are always really great, but we have lots of 'what shall we do now' moments when he is here. And I feel responsible for his happiness when he is here (my fault not his) and hate the pressure.
Just one thing - whilst it's probably really exciting for your daughter to visit London every now and then and go out and do things...have you thought about the reality of bringing a child up in a busy part of an enormous city? When the 'holiday fun stuff' stops and it's a case of going to an inner-city school, not being able to play on the streets with her mates and all the other things that city living entails?
Honestly - I don't even have children, but if it were me I'd not be uprooting a young child to go off and live in the middle of London in normal circumstances...and especially not in a case where it's going to a guy who sounds like he'd have a hard time giving up his 'lad about town' bachelor living.“Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.”
― Dylan Moran0 -
Reading through your posts, I kept on reading "He agrees he needs to grow up".
Don't let "He agrees that he needs to grow up" confuse you as meaning "He will grow up at some point, or any time soon". He could get to 80, and still want to prioritise having a good time with the lads over behaving like a responsible family man.
That's not a bad thing in itself, ... as long as he hasn't got a family. It is after all, his life.
Set him free, as you have before. Let him grow up without keeping you in reserve, waiting on the offchance that he might grow up and kissing it better when he can't have both.0 -
It's hard to see why the OP is so hung up on her boyfriend when she disparages him by calling him a 'manchild' who has 'tantrums'. Sound relationships are built on respect..................
....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
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FattyBettyBoo wrote: »34, but get your point. But in his defence he is never the instigator, he just wants to go because everyone else is. there are 7 of them ranging from 30 to 36 and they do loads of lads stuff. But like he said, they get to go home to the misses after.
And if they decide to offer a stripper some extra cash for a bit extra, does he join in with that because everybody else is?I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.Yup you are officially Rock n Roll0 -
So he doesn't like the 3 hour train journey but he's fine about you and a 6yr old doing it because...it's ok for you to be doing it but it's below him to have to do it.
He sounds like an immature selfish twonk to be honest.If you haven't got it - please don't flaunt it. TIA.0
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