Wanted a girl, devastated it's a boy...

Bargainloverbec

Ante natal depression is common than people realise - it does sound as if her reaction is rather out of the ordinary and I wonder whether she needs to be nudged in the direction of her midwife or health visitor to have some professional help.

noodlespink2

After miscarrying twins recently (although extremely grateful for the 2 precious children i already have) i find it so upsetting people can be upset as they arent having the 'sex' they want. Any baby is so very precious, there are so many people who would love to just have a healthy baby. Lets hope she realises that soon x

janninew

Interesting article here

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/wellbeing/7714755/Gender-disappointment-Coping-with-the-wrong-baby.html

I wonder if the people who think she is being selfish think I'm selfish as well as I'm being treated for PND. I am incredibly grateful for my Daughter but having PND isn't something I can control.

tyllwyd

I agree with the other posters who have said that your sister in law doesn't sound well. My first thought was to worry about the baby, it would be awful if something happened and the baby was harmed. I think you need to try to get her husband to talk to a gp or midwife, to get some advice and hopefully to try to get some help for her.

Brighton_belle

5 weeks of relentless crying sounds like this tipped her into depression. And you can't always just 'shake off' depression: I think she needs help: I hope you can persaude her to tell GP and het some counselling in quick.

bossymoo

I was the other way. My DS was such an easy baby I convinced myself I wanted another boy. Well, not another boy. Another him. Mad I know. When they told me my second was a girl I told them they were wrong. I was gutted, didn't believe it. Didn't buy any clothes or anything that wasn't neutral. Even though the sonographer said 97% certain a girl. I was so frightened I wouldn't love her as much as DS.

Do you know what, when she arrived (finally, the little beggar was late!) I fell for her hook line and sinker. I adore her. Even now she is two, and a stroppy little git I love her she is amazing.

Aww.
X

daska

She probably doesn't need to google it but her husband does! Or you for him. Does he really want to take the risk of it not being all right after the birth?! PND is bad enough when it can't be prevented, no need to encourage it!

fannyanna

I'll have the baby if she doesn't want it

That was a poor joke but on a serious note I struggle to empathise with her (but perhaps that's because I'm struggling to conceive) but it does sound like some form of depression rather than it being a simple case of selfishness.

Erinnire

I was gutted when I found out my second child was a girl, it tooks me weeks to get over it. It was an awful feeling, I knew it was ridiculous and I felt like the worst person in the world but I couldn't help it. I'm sure your SIL feels exactly the same. By the time she was born I loved her unconditionally but we had some really dark days.

Gender disappointment is a real thing and your SIL should speak to someone, being nasty to her is just going to make it worse.

fluffnutter

I struggled to conceive. I tried for 10 years, had three failed IVF attempts and finally had my baby thanks to an egg donor. But I still know that I'd have felt disappointed if I'd found out my baby was a boy at my 20 week scan.

There's no one who knows better than I do that babies are the most precious thing in the world, regardless of whether they're the right 'colour' but it doesn't stop the emotion. That's because it's irrational. She's not trying to be ungrateful, she can't help it.