Feeling broken and no where near debt free. This is just the start.

Upsidedown_Bear

What ZTD and Sambucus Nigra said ^^^

You're young, you have your whole life ahead of you, go and live it as you want to - not being dragged down by someone who, quite honestly, doesn't deserve you.

It's scary to do but believe me you will not regret it.

Everyone on here wants to see you happy but only you can do the things necessary to make that happen.
We'll cheer you on so go on - do it. Make it happen, take your life back

And have a dodgy hug as well :grouphug:

bexiboo92

He really doesn't get it, lives in oblivion. The minute he starts throwing stuff round the room in a mood EFFECTS other people. There's no care or concern there; his response to everything is purely "you're moody today". Well I wouldn't be so moody if I wasn't around someone who has hissy fits because he can't organise himself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There's no love left to lose anymore. It's all gone.

You act like you're all great and wonderful and anyone would be lucky to have you, but no not really. Not at all actually.

You're this scared insecure little boy behind the s*** and to be quite honest, I don't wanna go out with that. I'd like someone who thinks of others. By the age of 21, you should know when a girl says "oh no don't worry about it", it doesn't really mean that. It means YOU FORGOT OUR ANNIVERSARY, YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO BUY A CARD THE WEEK AFTER. AND YOU THINK I'VE FORGOTTEN THAT????? No.

Sambucus_Nigra

Bexi. Just leave - go home and don't look back.

pencakes26

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Bexi. Just leave - go home and don't look back.

What she said.

For your own sanity, you should go.

ZTD

bexiboo92 wrote: »

He really doesn't get it, lives in oblivion.

Well, does he need to get it? Is anything adversely affecting him?

Probably not.

bexiboo92 wrote: »

The minute he starts throwing stuff round the room in a mood EFFECTS other people. There's no care or concern there; his response to everything is purely "you're moody today". Well I wouldn't be so moody if I wasn't around someone who has hissy fits because he can't organise himself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woah there! You've fallen directly into the trap he has set out for you.

He says: "You're moody." You think: "I'm moody because..." You have taken his words and taken them as true as he wishes you to. Moody means "an unpredictable change in emotional state". Your behaviour is pure stimulus-response. That's entirely predictable, and because of your predictability, he's playing you like a banjo.

Consider why he's calling you "moody"? Because it works. It works because you take it to heart. When "moody" stops working he'll try other words to manipulate you.

You think "I did X, he said 'You're Y' - I don't like the thought of being Y, so I will stop doing X." - just like he wants you to.

"Take out the bin": "You're moody."
"We need to go food shopping.": "You're moody."
"Turn the telly off the topless darts and onto Twighlight": "You're moody."

If it wasn't "moody" then it would be "stroppy" or "stupid" or...anything. Anything that works. Anything that makes you behave in a way that he wants, and brings a positive reward to him.

Obviously if you smacked him in the face with a snow shovel (*) every time he called you moody, he'd sharp stop.

bexiboo92 wrote: »

There's no love left to lose anymore. It's all gone.

So why do you remain?










(*) Other manual tools are available from quality retailers.

bexiboo92

ZTD wrote: »

Well, does he need to get it? Is anything adversely affecting him?

Probably not.



Woah there! You've fallen directly into the trap he has set out for you.

He says: "You're moody." You think: "I'm moody because..." You have taken his words and taken them as true as he wishes you to. Moody means "an unpredictable change in emotional state". Your behaviour is pure stimulus-response. That's entirely predictable, and because of your predictability, he's playing you like a banjo.

Consider why he's calling you "moody"? Because it works. It works because you take it to heart. When "moody" stops working he'll try other words to manipulate you.

You think "I did X, he said 'You're Y' - I don't like the thought of being Y, so I will stop doing X." - just like he wants you to.

"Take out the bin": "You're moody."
"We need to go food shopping.": "You're moody."
"Turn the telly off the topless darts and onto Twighlight": "You're moody."

If it wasn't "moody" then it would be "stroppy" or "stupid" or...anything. Anything that works. Anything that makes you behave in a way that he wants, and brings a positive reward to him.

Obviously if you smacked him in the face with a snow shovel (*) every time he called you moody, he'd sharp stop.



So why do you remain?










(*) Other manual tools are available from quality retailers.

He doesn't have that control over me.

I don't think "I'm moody because.....". I'm fully I'm NOT moody 90% of the time and he just thinks I am because he's annoying me and I'd rather ignore him.

bexiboo92

you were the biggest bullsh*tter a girl could meet.....but i miss you?

HeadAboveWater

Hey. You ok??

bexiboo92

HATE HATE HATE how much i've changed in the last 3years.
Where's the girl who would've done anything to chase her dreams gone?

One of the last things my grandad said to me before he passed away was how proud he was of me and how much he wanted me to follow my dreams and go to university.
I need to take control again.

Even looking at university stuff scares the hell out of me; i don't feel good enough. I've spent too much of the last 3yrs wrapped up in working and trying to keep a roof above my head.

Sambucus_Nigra

1 didn't get to uni until I was nearly 30.

Just leave and go home!