Feeling broken and no where near debt free. This is just the start.

ZTD

HeadAboveWater wrote: »

I knew I had to break up with him, it still took me another 11 months to get the courage to do it :eek:

Indeed. And that's when you forced it to be. The situation was probably not much different in the fundamentals the day before you ended it to the day you did end it. Except you pulled the trigger.

We can all see that this situation has expended all the easy options. Barring a miracle like he gets hit on the head (with a household implement of choice) and has a revelation, the outcome is just waiting for the trigger to be pulled.

That's Bexi's decision, in almost every aspect.

HeadAboveWater

ZTD wrote: »

Indeed. And that's when you forced it to be. The situation was probably not much different in the fundamentals the day before you ended it to the day you did end it. Except you pulled the trigger.

True!

I'm just saying: knowing what needs to be done, and actually doing it, there can sometimes be a (rather long!) delay!

...he gets hit on the head (with a household implement of choice)

You reading this Bex?!

bexiboo92

You do NOT need to know everything.
Caring does NOT mean you NEED to understand.
I don't understand why YOU treated your wife and children like crap for 20years.

Stop suffocating me.

Sambucus_Nigra

bexiboo92 wrote: »

You do NOT need to know everything.
Caring does NOT mean you NEED to understand.
I don't understand why YOU treated your wife and children like crap for 20years.

Stop suffocating me.

I thought he was 20/21 himself?

Who are you talking about now?

bexiboo92

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

I thought he was 20/21 himself?

Who are you talking about now?

My charming father.

tjp70

Bex,

I’ve just read your thread from start to finish. Like many people on here, I was in a relationship similar to yours. Like you, I was given lots of advice. I knew deep down that I was in a destructive relationship but chose to carry on, just like you are. You know that the relationship you have is wrong, and you know that there is better out there, but still you persevere. No matter how much great advice you are given, you will stay with him because you are scared of being alone or being a failure.

One day, you will simply decide that you have had enough. But you are not quite there yet. You stay with him because deep down, you hope he will change, no matter what we say to the contrary.

So my advice to you is to carry on, carry on picking up after him, cleaning for him, paying his way, listening to his emotional blackmail until finally you have had enough. And then we’ll be here for you.

bexiboo92

tjp70 wrote: »

Bex,

I’ve just read your thread from start to finish. Like many people on here, I was in a relationship similar to yours. Like you, I was given lots of advice. I knew deep down that I was in a destructive relationship but chose to carry on, just like you are. You know that the relationship you have is wrong, and you know that there is better out there, but still you persevere. No matter how much great advice you are given, you will stay with him because you are scared of being alone or being a failure.

One day, you will simply decide that you have had enough. But you are not quite there yet. You stay with him because deep down, you hope he will change, no matter what we say to the contrary.

So my advice to you is to carry on, carry on picking up after him, cleaning for him, paying his way, listening to his emotional blackmail until finally you have had enough. And then we’ll be here for you.

Thank you. That made me teary eyed.