Feeling broken and no where near debt free. This is just the start.

bexiboo92

dktreesea wrote: »

Bex, you're not living on your own. You are living with someone who makes you feel like cr*p. As to "losing your relationship" remember, it's not just you who is losing this. So is he. If he doesn't value you anymore, presumably because you don't mother him, make him the centre of your life and put lots of effort into making him feel great, (lots of guys want this), and if he starts whinging on about you are this that and the other thing, just stay calm, tell him if he doesn't like it, there's the door, and once he is gone, either go back home once the lease is up for renewal or get a flatmate. At least that way you can leave the flat at your convenience.

And beware of a man who leaves you then realises it's cold and lonely out there and wants to come back. The fact that he didn't keep up his end of the bargain initially - to treat you like a human being, always want your company and hold you dear to his heart forever - could mean that the person you were before he left is no longer at home.

If he refuses to leave and says you should go instead, make sure you go down the letting agent to reassign the lease to him.

I realise a lot of couples don't have a lot in common and need to work at it that much harder than couples on the same wavelength, but imho, people who aren't prepared to make an effort are just not worth it.

If you look at your partner and think "yeah, this is okay for now, but this isn't the guy I want to settle down with and have children/make a home with", that sounds more to me like a relationship of convenience than love. Aren't you a bit young to settle for that?

Far too young for it.

Just stupidly made too commitments when I knew it wasn't right

HeadAboveWater

You know what a relationship is and should be, and you know that what you've got now isn't a relationship.

Just because you made commitments when you knew it wasn't right, doesn't mean you have to live with the consequences the rest of your life. Nothing is set in stone. And you're not chained to either him or the flat.

Sambucus_Nigra

bexiboo92 wrote: »

Far too young for it.

Just stupidly made too commitments when I knew it wasn't right

You haven't made commitments - you are renting a house and have a few debts, and even if you had - that's why divorce exists.

This is getting silly now. How much longer are you going to be on here asking the same questions when the answer to all your issues is so simple? Just move home. Pack your bags today, and drive to your parents house/take a taxi/get the train/bus/friend to take you.

Sort the rest out tomorrow.

HeadAboveWater

Hear! Hear!

bexiboo92

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

You haven't made commitments - you are renting a house and have a few debts, and even if you had - that's why divorce exists.

This is getting silly now. How much longer are you going to be on here asking the same questions when the answer to all your issues is so simple? Just move home. Pack your bags today, and drive to your parents house/take a taxi/get the train/bus/friend to take you.

Sort the rest out tomorrow.

I wasn't looking for answers.

Sambucus_Nigra

bexiboo92 wrote: »

I wasn't looking for answers.

What is the point of these threads then?

bexiboo92

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

What is the point of these threads then?

To vent, to express, to be an online diary.

Tell me what to do all you like, but I will do it in my own time.
I appreciate all the advice and guidance offered, but I'm not just gonna up and leave just like that. I would've done it before now if it was that easy and simple in MY head.

ZTD

bexiboo92 wrote: »

I would've done it before now if it was that easy and simple in MY head.

Things can be easy. Things can be black and white.

If you force them to be.

chevalier

I really feel for you. You are so young still. Take your time. You will find the strength to sort this. You have the power within you. Just please, don't take on any more debt for him.....
chev

HeadAboveWater

ZTD wrote: »

Things can be easy. Things can be black and white.

That all depends on who you're asking.

Yes from what we can read on here it does seem black and white. But that's ok when we're reading about someone else's relationship. To the person IN the relationship there's a lot of grey area. It's not so clear cut when there are feelings involved.

I was with my ex for 6 years. Think I always knew deep down he was never 'the one' for me. When the penny finally dropped and I knew I had to break up with him, it still took me another 11 months to get the courage to do it :eek: