Real-life MMD: Should student daughter contribute?

dyamond.daze

Students can leave Uni nowadays with any amount up too £50.000 in debt as books, fares ect are very expensive this is already a tall order for someone barely out of their teens.
Many will decide to get employment outside of the EU to circumvent this.
I can not understand this attitude of pay your way or get out, perhaps you should have taken in lodgers as opposed to having children. Yes life is harsh but you don't expect it too be your parents piling on the agony.
The single Mother who originally posted can the father not contribute?
As has already been mentioned you begin to realise why so many shove their parents into care homes reading these replys.

lady_jane

scotsbob wrote: »

You want to charge your daughter to live in her home?
Make the most of her she will be moving away from you soon.

So you think its fair do you that she gets free bed and board?. when she does move out she is for one hell of a shock. I earned £80 a week in 1987/88 I paid my mum £25 a week she never aksed for a penny off me but it was only the phone and min elec back then no mobiles or internet, didn;t even have a vcr. sounds like you are someone that would bludge off others:mad:

Sophie968

Of course she should pay!
I'm also a student living at home with a part-time job and pay my parents board every week. If I weren't living here I'd have to pay even more, and the student loan is more than enough to cover it.

marialex

I think Lula pace has made a lot of sense in her reply. I do believe that the daughter should start to learn the facts of life, namely that household bills have to be paid. But it is a good idea to show her what your bills are and explain the difficulty you will be in now child benefit has ceased. I am proud to say that when my eldest (aged at that time 13) got a paper round , he insisted that he no longer needed pocket money from me so that I would find my finances a little easier!

harrassed_granny

A friend of mine took her grandaughter into her home aged 16 and kept her for 3 years while she finished her college course. During this time she fed and clothed her and even got her a car and paid for all of that. Her grandaughter got a part time job 6 months before leaving college and her nan told her that once she had finished college she would have to start contributing to household expenses. When the time came her grandaughter threw her toys out of her pram and refused to pay her nan anything. Result being the car was taken away, food was withheld, washing wasnt done etc etc. After two months her grandaughter went on holiday, came back and gave her nan some money, the next day she gave her some more and it is now a regular contribution. During this time her nan was beside herself, always on the verge of giving in but she felt she was right and fortunately it has paid off and everyone is happy. It shouldnt have been like that, some youngsters do begrudge contributing and do feel it is their right to be kept by family members and even if you can afford to do so i dont think it is teaching them about money if you dont start gently while they are at home and can ease themselves into being financially independant. Asls the allowance this young lady has been given is to help towards her living costs and as said before, it isnt for them to have a good time on taxpayers money!

janejer3

Having been in a similar position my son and daughter paid something towards the food they ate especially as I explained and showed them how much rent, utility, insurance, tv licence and food bills etc totalled each week and would cost them if they were at Uni away from home. Be open and honest with her and show her what it costs to live - she is an adult!

BASBAL

Not had time to read all the posts but I think the crucial point is that the mum is the sole provider. She has to bear all the household costs which, if her daughter was away at uni, would be far less, including as someone has rightly pointed out perhaps a reduction in council tax. I don't think asking for a contribution towards living costs is unfair as the daughter would have incurred far greater expenses if she was in halls/student accommodation. On the other side of course if the daughter wasn’t living at home how would she pay for her accommodation, food etc? Would she have to find a job paying more or would mum have to contribute? Asking for £20.00 pw towards food and other consumables and utilities is reasonable. The daughter still has home comforts and security and mum gets a bit of cash to help. Mind you the daughter is missing out on all the fun of uni life without mum knowing what she is up to!!!

One thought where is dad in all this? Even if the parents are separated or divorced surely he should be contributing something.

magentalady

I'm fascinated by all the assumptions being made here. Where does it say that it's a single mum posing the question, rather than a single dad? If it is a single mum, why are people just assuming that dad's still alive and able to contribute? And why on earth are people assuming that 'mum' is doing all the washing, cooking and cleaning when the post says nothing whatsoever about that. It's very interesting to see the different spins that people will put on something when faced with just the bare minimum of facts.

As someone who lived with a single dad when I was the same age as the daughter, perhaps these assumptions irk me more than they should. But please, people, try to answer the question that's been asked and don't just bulldoze in with whatever you think the issue actually is.

harrassed_granny

As the original poster has an alias called "debs" i think we can assume it is a single mum lol!

shocky_2

Unless you are really struggling she should not pay any rent. Part of being a parent is supporting your child. Also remember that she gets a reduced rent and reduced student loan because she is living at home.

The stuff about teaching the value of money nonsense. A little support in early life does not turn people into selfish monsters.

Its pretty tough being a young person right now. The young are now subsidising the old through the tax system, paying higher taxes and more tuition fees than their parents, and this will get worse as people live longer in retirement. Getting on the housing ladder is almost impossible - the average age of a first-time buyer in the UK is now 35. A little support from parents is justified.