Real-life MMD: Should student daughter contribute?

thetardisgirl

Absolutely she should pay! Some of us don't have the luxury of being paid £100 fortnightly, let alone a little over £100 a week! And if I'm scraping through on that, then I'm sure she can cut back on her going out (or whatever it is she's spending her money on) to pay for her room and board when you've been paying for her for so long!

Toptips

sounds a good deal, if she doesn't want to take it up, is it alright if I do?
I wouldn't be too hard on her though, she's had 18 years of being looked after, and like many people used to free benefits, at some stage someone has to bring them into the real world.
I'd charge her £40 and give her the opportunity to earn £20 back through household chores.
Good luck.

alphaman29

My daughter qualified last year and during her time at uni I didn't get any rent even though she worked part-time.

Although we want to help our children I believe I made a big mistake in agreeing to this situation which did cause me difficulties and now she is working I realise what a fool I'd been. As a single parent your situation is worse than mine so don't subsidise your daughter's education (or more likely her social life) at your expense just because she doesn't want to increase her student loan.

She is now an adult not a schoolchild so she must take responsibility for her decisions and not expect you to support her financially especially as this will cause you hardship. Indeed it is not you who is being selfish but her, not giving you any consideration for the sacrifices you no doubt made in bringing her up alone.:A

I didn't realise how much a little rent would make until she left uni, so, with the benefit of hindsight, tell her to pay up or move to the halls of residence. Be strong!

Mojisola

Toptips wrote: »

I'd charge her £40 and give her the opportunity to earn £20 back through household chores.

Why should she get paid for doing chores? No-one pays her mother for doing the housework!

If there are two adults in the house, the chores should be shared between them.

dyamond.daze

I did not charge my son to live at home while he was at Uni, he has always been sensible with money and did not need teaching lessons.
If you can't help out your own child it's a sad day! I am glad I went easy on him as he has moved too Japan after Uni and is taking care of his own expenses, I think it very childish behavior to stop doing chores ect as for kicking your own child out on too the street unbelievable, I wonder why some bother having children if that's how you treat them.

Edward_Mortimore

Agree with your daughter and tell her she can live with you rent free! Just tell her that obviously food isn't free, and neither is a bath or shower.
Say she she can either pay the discounted £20 weekly food and shower tab, or individually for each meal and bath @ £5 a pop. Obviously, breakfast is a little cheaper.:A

miss_renegade

£20 is nothing! At 18 she is now an adult, and should start acting like one! I paid my mum house keeping money from when I first got a job at 16. It was £10/15 per week which is a lot less than I ended up paying when I moved out!
As others have said, she would be paying a LOT more to be accommodated in a tiny room in halls. A lot of students would jump at the chance to be able to stay at home whilst studying, and not have to waste loads of money on over inflated rent!

arowen

Yes! The world doesn't owe her a living and if she hasn't learnt this already she is heading for trouble. We owe it to our kids to equip them for real life and its time to get tough. The next person to give her a reality check might not give her a second chance.

CharlieandStu

I lived at home whilst I was doing my nurse training and the deal was I had to contribute be it financially or by helping out around the house, or by doing one of the shops the family needed each month. It certainly gave me an idea of how to budget and made me realise the value of hard work. Even now when I think of buying something I work out how many hours of work I have to do before buying it.

Toptips

Mojisola wrote: »

Why should she get paid for doing chores? No-one pays her mother for doing the housework!

If there are two adults in the house, the chores should be shared between them.

erhhh! either you are the perfect parent or don't have teenage children!
just see how many chores get done if you say its £20/wk rent and chores expected, or £40/wk but you can earn £20 back in chores.
Kids only do chores either under threat or if they're incentivised; since they've banned beating kids, incentives are best