Real-life MMD: Should student daughter contribute?

POPPYOSCAR

My own personal view is that I would not take any money.

We have told our daughter that we will support her through her education but in return we expect her help around the house etc.

We were actually told by the college that they did not want her to get a job as they need the students to concentrate on their studies. She also does lots of other activities outside of college to do with her possible future career so a job would be near on impossible for her to do anyway.

When she starts work we will expect her to contribute financially according to how much she earns.

asj100

I would suggest you let her stay in the house for FREE... BUT, give her a cupboard of her own in the kitchen and space in the fridge.

Tell her to buy her own food and her own lunch at Uni..

One week of spending all her grant on food will be the week she takes up your suggestion she pays you just £20...

Mojisola

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

We have told our daughter that we will support her through her education but in return we expect her help around the house etc.

That's your decision - you can afford it.

If your income wasn't covering all the bills, what would you do then?

happyinflorida

I used to do debt counselling and this often was a problem faced by the person I spoke to on the phone.

It is important that you speak with your daughter and try to get her to understand the situation you are in.

I hope you can both come to an understanding and that she appreciates your situation and all you've done for her and that you're not just asking for this money because you can but because you actually need it.

It is difficult and you don't want to cause problems. My two sons have been brought up to understand money doesn't grow on trees and has to be earnt. If we've got it - they get some of it but if we haven't they don't and they are both fantastic with money and both very understanding.

Both of my sons earnt their pocket money when they were teens - they both took turns in doing the ironing for the family - it takes about 2 hours on a Sunday and they got £5. Some might think this is slave labour but it's all we could afford at the time.

POPPYOSCAR

Mojisola wrote: »

That's your decision - you can afford it.

If your income wasn't covering all the bills, what would you do then?

Yes that is my decision and yes I can afford it.


My sister took on a part time job to see her daughter through university and went without in the process.

I know some families that have told their children they cannot afford for them to go to university but it has not stopped them going on holiday etc. Sometimes it is a question of priorities.

If my income was not covering all the bills and I could not get extra work or cut back anywhere then obviously I would have to explained to my child that they would have to help out financially before they started at university.

tallgirld

So she gets £110 a week and you want to take £20. That only leaves her with £90. I wouldn't want to pay it either.

But then I was a brat who had no idea how much things cost and always believed it was my parents job to look after me. Got a MASSIVE wake up call when I left home!!!!!

pancakes*

Some people are very harsh to the daughter, I think that if you are struggling she does need to help you, but explain how hard it is and go through all expenses. This way she will learn why and what a good deal she has.:money:

babyshoes

When I left school and started earning during my gap year (3 part time jobs), my parents didn't ask for a contribution in any form - but then I knew that they could easily afford to support me. I did however stop asking for handouts/pocket money from them, and started voluntarily doing some of the grocery shopping as I felt I needed to contribute something as an earning adult member of the household. Any extra money after nights out, clothes etc was saved for when I went to Uni the following year.

dominicbond

Of course she should pay. It will prepare her for the real world.

When I was at university four years ago I received a loan of about £140 per week. I paid rent of £85, tube pass of £10, food cost around £25. Then there were books and clothes to pay for. An occasional half a pint of beer or a portion of chips would be a treat.

Tell her she has it easy and that you should be charging her £100 a week!

x__Indigo_x

this situation sounds like my mum has posted ha!

Situation in a nut shell - my parents arent the richest of people we dont have a washing machine ( done by hand and really messy things are done by family members) and we dont have a shower. The bathroom is a brick wall with mould everywhere... (it is awful) they have both worked full time in min wage jobs to get by.

when i was at college 16-18 admittedly i got EMA £30 per week and didnt pay mum anything at first however when i got a small part time job i have mum about £30 a fortnight. In saying this when i lived at home i would clean, do chores, cook etc

when i was 18 i moved away to uni. they didnt give me a penny and you know what i didnt want/expect them to . i had to take out a maintenance loan on top of the grant but i had the best time and never ever relied on them for anything at all. - unlike 4/5 of my housemates whos 'mummy and daddy' paid their rent or had an 'allowance' on top of their loan payments. I really grew up during my uni years and dont regret a thing!

My sister went to college 16 then quit after one year ... then started college again ...then about 2 years ago she started a full time job. IN ALL THIS TIME she hasnt paid a penny to my parents and to make matters worse she doesnt do A THING she leaves dishes around, never ever cleans ANYTHING and demands my mum hand wash her clothes ! Her argument is ' none of my friends have to pay' and 'Indigo' didnt have to pay rent'

She is now started uni (age 22 nearly) and is living at home. mum demanded £600 per term ( about £180 per month ish) and after A HELL of a lot of kicking and screaming she has agreed to pay it... well she has paid the first 3 months .

Last friday my dad went to work as normal to be told the business has gone into administration - 'go home you have no job' and to make matters worse my mum is already going through a redunandancy selection and may lose her job by December.
Its going to be a really tough time for the family but my sisters 'rent' is going to be a lifesaver.

sorry really long rant,,, basically i agree make her pay, so she should do! £20 per week is an absolute BARGAIN and the lessons she will learn having to budget will make her for life

even if you dont need the money from your child i believe you should make them pay something and maybe put it into a high rate savings account for when they hit a certain age.

learning to budget is an INVALUABLE skill