In the words of Yazz...

mumsiemum

Hi Fudgie

I have pm'd you a link for something I did in July. After 15 years of depression triggerd by post natel depression, I'm off the meds. Quite radical but has worked for me although its not for everyone. It's mostly used for ME but can be used for a wide range of issues.

I wasn't sure if I was allowed to post the link on here hence pm.

MM

Fudgefund

Thanks MM! I've had a skim of the website, and I'll look into it further. I'm really trying on the meditation front at the moment, because I've been sleeping badly. I'm the queen of the negative thought so I might struggle, I'll see. :A

All good news on the update front today, which I'm mega pleased with. Drank a glass of OJ, managed to walk to work in 57 minutes, and whilst at work eat: a banana (B-vits), cereal bar, yogurt, marmite sandwich (more b-vits), and an apple. After the horrors of yesterday I'm feeling very smug. I also managed to only spend 95p on my train fare home, so almost a NSD. :j Hoping to pull something silimar out of the bag tomorrow. I even rejected the office feeder's attempts to get me to eat a chocolate cookie.

Four more days to get through until payday, I have about £7 which is fine because I have no plans as such and enough food. I'm really just patting myself on the back because any other year, not only would I have not paid anything off my credit card, I'd be piling more on having blown all my money at Christmas. :j

please-let-me-be-lucky

Some lovely positive stuff there Fudgie, well done!

(I'd probably be the office feeder , if I worked in an office :rotfl:) Xx

Fudgefund

Thanks! Our office feeder is both lovely and annoying in equal measures (she's a size 10 I'd say). She was worth her weight in gold when I couldn't afford to eat though, so I can't complain!

please-let-me-be-lucky

Hi Fudgie, just checking in to see if you are ok?? Xx

*Robin*

^^^ What Be Lucky said - thinking of you, hoping all is ok.. :lovethoug

Fudgefund

Hi everyone

Thanks for the concern, and sorry for going AWOL for a bit. I really do care about you all and you got me through such a lot last year it's not good of me to just disappear like that.

I am fine, and my mood continues to be good, and I am really trying hard to eat the right things and walk to work every morning. Not been too sucessful the past few days due to the snow, very nearly went flying the other morning!! :rotfl:There were lovely scenes of me hobbling along the side of the road, clutching the railings and shifting along with my bottom sticking out. I'm hoping it'll clear by Monday. I'm finding the walk to work amazing because I get a good bit of daylight (I work in a basement), I get the exercise and I get a bit of time to clear my head and perk up. Can't recommend it enough. I've also got the app 'myfitnesspal' on my phone now, it's free and logs all the calories I've eaten. I haven't actually lost any weight yet but that must be just around the corner.

I've been really busy the past week, feeling better about things has meant I've done more going out and seeing people and I've accomplished more things like cake making. I'm really starting to hope I've turned a bit of a corner in my mental health, and things are on the up! :T I did a 5k run last weekend and I'm hoping to go out tomorrow if the roads aren't too treacherous. I actually thought they were worse than they were, so the whole time today I've been holed up pretending to be a Russian, I could've been outside! I do like a pajama day though.

But enough beating about the bush, apart from being busy there is a reason why I haven't been on here. I'm embarrassed to say I've been spending money and I wasn't ready to look at the damage and confess. I had my eyebrows done (£18), my hair cut and dyed (£81!) and I spent roughly £150 in the sales on clothes for work and shoes for work. I actually am pretty at peace with this because it has made me feel so much better in myself and I was truly sick of walking around feeling like a mess but it still wasn't very MSE in the slightest! But I'm drawing a line under it now because the alternative is to stop coming on here, start spending all my wages again and not clearing my debt which isn't an option. Time to focus and commit.

So, my credit card is now down to £2200 which is way off my goal for this month of £1900 but it isn't horrific either. I have £70 a week to live on so I'm going to try and live on £50 and overpay £20 a week like I did before. It'll be a challenge, but it'll also be good to feel I'm atoning for my splurge. I'm spending more on food because I want to eat all my vitamins and I'm not going to compromise on that.

Off to read everyone else diaries now, fingers crossed everyone is well. xx

beanielou

Goes to lie in a darkrned room at the thought of 81 quid for a cut & colour _pale_

Fudgefund

Ha! I asked for that to be fair.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Fudgefund wrote: »

I haven't actually lost any weight yet but that must be just around the corner.

I've been really busy the past week, feeling better about things has meant I've done more going out and seeing people and I've accomplished more things like cake makingxx

Perhaps there is a link here :rotfl:

Seriously, I like this post!! You sound upbeat and happy and in my mind that means the spends were justified. As long as it's a one off and not the start of a spending habit then you will be fine Xx