In the words of Yazz...

Fudgefund

Ha, I was a pretty good elf last night, managed to content myself with a lot of stollen and a few mince pies.

The party was a bit of a let down really, it was nice enough but I have a tendency at the moment to retreat into my shell at these things and last night was no different. Perhaps it's the lack of booze. My friend hosting the party leaned over to me conspiratorily half way through the night to say 'I just want you to know, you're one of only two single girls here, and most of the blokes are single if you're looking!' I felt like Bridget Jones. I left pretty soon after that as I think most reasonable people would! I really feel since getting ill I'm missing a bit of a spark I used to have, and I won't be confident again until I feel that. The world seems to be pushing me on too quickly and I'm rearing up like a stubborn horse. What a lovely mental image. I know you're all going to have an extremely false idea of me as some kind of looker (I'm not) but someone else turned up who has had a soft spot for me for years and after I left he sent me a message as half three in the morning which made me really cringe. I avoid him all the time now because I feel so much pressure and it's such a shame because we were such good friends. It was him who gave me the present I'm regifting to my horrible step-nephew. I just don't know what else to do with it.

Anyway, enough whinging about my personal life, eating wise this weekend has been carnage! Since embracing Christmas I've been chomping away like Pac-Man. Really need to get back to normal this week ahead of next weekend where my sister will be fattening me up like a prize cow (I'm not small to begin with). Today I spent £2 on a pizza to cheer myself up, £1 on some Frosted Fancies (I will take these to vegetable Tuesday though) and a pound on some pop. I have about £10 to last me the week but I think I'll do it. Rebuffing all these men doesn't really fill up my evenings.:rotfl:Hope to get the last of my shopping done tomorrow so I can stop thinking about it.

On a separate note, I've been in a wrangle with TV Licencing for the entire duration of this diary which is so dull I haven't chronicled it. I sent them another letter last week which I'm hoping will bear fruit in the form of a refund, but I'm not holding my breath.

Fudgefund

I spoke far too soon about the TV Licence.

I got up this morning as full of the joys of winter and I can be, only to have my mood dashed by another blooming letter from them in the ongoing saga of my refund. I have completely lost my patience now and sent them a letter which makes me look like a total lunatic. As I am a total lunatic I have no problem with this, I just hope they don't enter into yet more correspondence with me due to my sparkling wit. I imagine they will grind to a halt for the festive period so I'll have to put it to the back of my mind. :mad:

In other news, I'm still eating far too much and can see no end in sight due to the various festivities lurking around every corner. Today was marginally better than yesterday, but that's not saying much at all. I've got off to a bad start in this pay period with buying random rubbish from Tesco and I really need to pull it back.

I went for lunch with my friend today, had a nice time and paid for her because she paid for me last week when I was really poor. We also haven't exchanged presents this year as we are honest with each other about our finances, so it was good to buy her a cake. All my Christmas shopping is now complete, including wrapping paper so I'm pretty pleased with myself. I'm going to the cinema tomorrow night for Orange Wednesday and the person I'm going with is paying so I only need to provide drinks and snacks. My friends of Vegetable Tuesday (tm) fame gave me a Chocolate Orange and a big tube of Smarties for Christmas today, so they'll do for the snacks, and I only need the drinks then. So MSE. :money:

I have about £10 in my purse, I'm hoping this will see me through until Saturday when I go home as I have transport and food. Fingers crossed.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Have a fab night at the cinema Xx

mumsiemum

It is hard to cut out the nibbles at this time of year! I'm having the same trouble I started out OK with a reasonable amount of self control - but its slipping now and I know I have gained a few pounds which I was hoping to avoid! Hey ho - it will just have to be another new years resolution to add the the other millions that I already have :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I hope you have a good evening at the flicks - what are you seeing?

MM

NewLeaf_2

I am nibbling, picking, gorging etc. I think it goes wih this time of year.

What movie did you see and how was it?

*Robin*

Yup, another one here having trouble leaving the nibbles alone..

Hope you have a good time at the flicks this evening, Fudgie - are you going to see The Hobbit by any chance?

Fudgefund

Crikey, a lot of interest in my cinema outing, I have a feeling you're all going to be really let down! I didn't go and see The Hobbit, I went to see Silver Linings Playbook which is a rom-com about people with mental health problems. I really enjoyed it, it has a good happy ending and it didn't seem patronising or like it was mocking the afflicted. The BP character in it was manic throughout, there were no down periods which I found a bit strange, but I guess everyone's experiences are different anyway. Robert De Niro plays the Dad, with undiagnosed OCD, he's great in it.

I went with my ex - but it's totally true what mumsiemum says, as long as I stay away from difficult relationships when I'm down, I'm fine when my mood is fine. We had a really nice night, and given the nature of the film it was good of him to see it with me, especially as he's usually more of an action film type. I really didn't want to go away at Christmas with his abiding memory being that terrible night at the Carol Concert, I just didn't think it was at all reflective of how well I'm doing and it bothered me. I've redressed the balance a bit now I think. I actually sound like the bloke from the film, oh dear!

I have been nibbling away with abandon today - had a kit kat with lunch (so far so average) then the office feeder came round with rocky road cake. I didn't have tea due to the cinema so just ate Smarties and Chocolate Orange for cinema snacks. I can see the rest of this month being an almighty write off. Thanks to you all for making me feel less alone in my lack of discipline and hello New Leaf! :wave:

I got two bottles of pop for £2 today, my only spend. The ex paid for the cinema which was nice of him. :T He knows of my debt mountain, although I only came clean when we broke up for some reason.

Still in a good mood, this is becoming a bit of a record since I started this diary! Things are steadily getting better though, and getting to know my housemates is definitely a factor, feel less lonely now. I'm also really looking forward to getting home on Saturday too. Or it could be the lack of alcohol, no need to say I told you so, Robin!

Fudgefund

PS, MM I love your cheerleading squad! Might do one myself when I'm on the home run.

*Robin*

Fudgefund wrote: »

it could be the lack of alcohol, no need to say I told you so, Robin!

Wasn't going to! ..I Think you're doing amazingly well!

The film sounds interesting, I'd like to see it - hope it comes on Sky sometime as doubt I'd understand such a complicated subject in Spanish. :rotfl:

Fudgefund

The only problem with the film were the frequent references to American football, which mean nothing to me, so translating all that in Spanish would be horrendous! Definitely wait for Sky.

I've managed a NSD today, first one since I last posted. I travelled back to home today and managed to not spend anything due to a complete absence of the luxury of time to hang around train stations. As all the trains were delayed, my connections were pretty hairy so I was forced to go hungry as I didn't bring any food with me.

My mood has been bad the past few days, I have been fighting continual urges to get drunk at work and encourage colleagues to go down with me. I've been spending and eating impulsively which I have happily put down to the season when I know that isn't true.

I'm really down today, which isn't at all ideal considering I'm around my family and it will worry them. My only recourse at the moment is the forced jollity which ruined the carol concert with my ex, so really no recourse at all. I am home alone with a step brother whose marriage has failed and makes for awkward company and my Mum has gone out. I feel as though I may have well stayed half way up the other end of the country at the moment as I'm simply reading Harry Potter in a different bed.

My mood had definitely worsened since my Dad, who isn't by any means a well off man, told me this evening that he has written off the £4000 he lent me to pay off my card. He said he had saved the money for my wedding, but as that wasn't going to happen he didn't need to worry about it anymore. He then withered on again about all the terrible things that happened last Christmas which set off my illness again and I nearly had to put down the phone. My Dad is a very nice man but he wasn't blessed with tact at the best of times. I'm still determined to pay him, I'll just have to keep the money in an account until he needs it.

This is a full on whinge of a post. I shouldn't have noted my record on the last one! :rotfl: