In the words of Yazz...

Fudgefund

First off, thanks for such an amazing post Robin, I found it really helpful. :A If only there was a 'really helpful' button. I'd give you the 'have a beer' smiley, but that would be REALLY inappropriate.

I am aware alcohol is a depressant. I've only recently become aware of how long it makes it's presence felt for. I always thought that once you'd dealt with the hangover, that was it, but nowadays it leaves me really low for days. Just not worth it.

I'm not friendly with any other BP sufferers. I've known a couple - my first boyfriend in fact, and he was a nightmare. I often wish I could go back to that time just to tell him I understand, and to be less judgemental, but I can't. I'm definitely finding keeping a diary and reviewing my moods very helpful.

Thanks for saying I'm doing well, must do something like write that on my hand. I guess in my low moments I spend a lot of time thinking about all the things I don't have in my life, and don't see it that I'm free as a bird and can change things if I want to. I do like to curl up with a good book, a Mars Bar and a hot chocolate. It's basically all I plan to do in December, before seeing the folks.

You're definitely right about me and alcohol - I just don't have that stop mechanism other people do, and it just makes my behaviour more extreme. I really believe there's nothing else for it but to give up completely, the good intentions I have to just have a glass of wine with dinner always end up in a horrendous mess.

Finally, the damp issue. I'm going to let you in on a secret - I'm not supposed to be in this house so I don't contact the LL about anything. I know this is bad, but when I moved in I had no money or credit so couldn't raise a deposit (I told my Mum I needed to borrow £500 from her for a deposit, when in reality I checked into a Premier Inn with the intention of ending it all and spent the money in the process) I also didn't want a credit check done, or have to spend the time looking round flats. So, for £200 all in, I have to put up with the damp but I'm definitely going to look into getting a good dehumidifier. My friends have said if it gets really bad over winter I can stay in their spare room free and leave my stuff here, so that's an option.

Fudgefund

Right, unbelievably this is my third post in a row, but I wanted to thank the two above properly for being wonderful, so if you've read all three do accept my apologies!

Today has been a reasonably good day, really helped along by the fact I'm still in a good mood. I do have a confession to make - I met up with my ex at lunchtime for a bit of a chat. It has been over a month since we've seen each other and there's no getting away from the fact it was nice to see him. We didn't argue or put the moves on each other, and it was just pleasant. I know I should be moving on and all the rest of it, but at the moment I just want to get through Christmas then make some decisions. I had a salad with him, which I was pleased with because I can't remember the last time I had a raw vegetable. :eek: I also only spent £3 all day, which was pretty good.

Work have announced that they are offering an attractive voluntary redundancy package to people who wish to take it, which is seriously tempting if I do make good on my plan to move home. I could leave with £6000, and start again. I'm pretty confident I could find a job in London doing something similar to what I do now, and just commute in. So that's another thing to mull over until New Year.

I paid another £20 off my BC today just to bite the bullet really. I get paid in 14 days and I have £100 left, so I will get by and find the other ten. My next bill is due on the 10th (really late!) so I want to be down to £3100 by then.

Fudgefund

A quick update after the essays of yesterday:

I am still in a relatively good mood, none of the crying fits of last Friday, so this is positive. Today I have only spent small amounts, 34p on a hot chocolate sachet (am I the only person who dips Mars Bars into hot chocolate so they become a bit melty? Is that so wrong? :rotfl:) and 90p on a stamp to finally send my sister the £30 voucher I bought last week. Whilst out and about I found 10p on the floor of the Post Office which I picked up, and 5p on the floor of a Tesco, which I also picked up. No, I have no shame. I also found 20p at the bottom of my handbag, so all in all a good day for free change.

I had to get a bus pass which was £12, so I paid for that and the things above with £15 I had and put the rest in the change jar, taking it up to £9.78, so very nearly there.

I'm off out tonight, and it is my first proper night out teetotal. The person I'm going with is on board, and has promised no cajoling whatsoever. I'm hoping to spend around £10, and then this will be an incentive to carry on not drinking. Fingers crossed.

beanielou

Have a nice evening

*Robin*

Thanks for your kind words, Fudgie

..Just popping in to wish you an amusing evening - and the strength to withstand temptation.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Hope it works out for you and you have a fab time Xx

Fudgefund

Thanks everyone.

I come bearing good news, I made it through the night without drinking, had a good time, and only spent £7.40! I am actually quite proud of myself. I did have one slight wobble at the beginning of the evening where I became a bit self-conscious and felt I wasn't being as funny as I am when tipsy, but my friend pulled me through it.

I've woken this morning feeling absolutely fine, have done my food shopping, washing and sorted out my room and looked smugly upon a housemate with a hangover. Most importantly, I don't feel depressed, and I haven't piled misery upon misery by eating a ton of rubbish.

As I was walking around the supermarket this morning I was getting thoroughly fed up of the Christmas songs (this is because I'm single, usually I love them). For such a supposedly happy time of year there certainly are a lot of lovelorn sad songs! When Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) came on I was practically prostrate in the aisle. I must remember to take my headphones everywhere for the month.

I'm going to a roller disco tonight (no, really) for the princely sum of £3, so I'm looking forward to that. I'm hoping the majority of the skaters will be good enough to get out of the way when I come flying towards them in my Christmas jumper. :rotfl:After food shopping, I now have approx £72 until the 14th, and I need to squeeze another £20 out of that. Hm. :think:

beanielou

Glad that you came bearing good news.
Have fun tonight

*Robin*

Fudgefund wrote: »

I come bearing good news, I made it through the night without drinking, had a good time, and only spent £7.40! I am actually quite proud of myself.

:j :j :j :T :T :T :j :j :j

Well done! Well done! Well done!
Fudgie, I am so proud of you too!

Fudgefund wrote: »

I did have one slight wobble at the beginning of the evening where I became a bit self-conscious and felt I wasn't being as funny as I am when tipsy, but my friend pulled me through it.

My bold. Drunken people are objects of amusement; people laugh at them, not with them.

Your friend sounds like a good 'un - give her[?] a hug from me!

Fudgefund wrote: »

I've woken this morning feeling absolutely fine, have done my food shopping, washing and sorted out my room and looked smugly upon a housemate with a hangover. Most importantly, I don't feel depressed, and I haven't piled misery upon misery by eating a ton of rubbish.

Fantastic!

Fudgefund wrote: »

I'm going to a roller disco tonight (no, really) for the princely sum of £3, so I'm looking forward to that. I'm hoping the majority of the skaters will be good enough to get out of the way when I come flying towards them in my Christmas jumper.

..Hope you had fun last night - really I am so impressed with the progress you're making, Fudgie - going out to do something rather than just hanging around in bars is definitely a better idea! :T

Sorry I misunderstood about your rental situation. Hmm, the insecurity of that plus a redundancy offer which gives you the possibility of going to live in London (where there is plenty of work).. Looks like your options are opening up; lots to think about in the next few weeks, could be very positive indeed (whether or not you go for it).

Oh and well done on having a successful friendly interlude with the Ex. He may yet become a good mate.

Fudgefund

Heh, thanks Robin, it's nice to be impressing someone.

Late update today, and I'm really tired. Went round to the friend's who managed to talk me out of drinking (male by the way) tonight to watch Die Hard (tis the season!) and have something to eat. He made me a pasta bake with a lot of vegetables in it, so that's more vegetables for the week. :T I took round a bottle of pop and some Quality Street to give proceedings a bit of a Christmassy feel, he drank cider but I stayed well clear. Spent £2.89 on that which is fine because I wouldn't turn up anywhere empty handed and all in all, I've had a cheap and busy weekend at £13.29.

I now have £13.15 in my change jar (found 3p on the floor of a bus stop today, brilliant) and I've worked out I need to pay in £9.65 to get another ten pounds out, which will leave me with £3.50. With eleven days until I get paid I'm cautiously optimistic I'll hit my overpaying target. Need to stock up on Mars Bars tomorrow before they go back to normal price. :rotfl: