In the words of Yazz...

Fudgefund

Hi Robin :wave:

Thanks for such a lovely post. I know exactly what you mean by synchonicity, strange isn't it? I do feel like the texts did set me back a bit, but I know in a couple of weeks I'll be fully back to where I was last time, and as I can't live in the past, I'm just going to have to move on!

No one will be surprised to hear I donated yet more money to keep our railways going today, but in my defence it was pouring with rain this morning. The weather forecast is marginally better for tomorrow, so I guess the pavement never knows it's luck and might see a bit more of my shoes. So that's another £1.80 gone. I see the same man every morning and every morning he gives me 20p change. I wonder does he ever wonder where all his 20ps are going when I never given them back to him? He's one of the most miserable people I've ever encountered so I'm not going to ask him. Probably sick of people never having the right change. :rotfl:

Change jar up to £2.01.

I also spent £2.50 on a delightful coffee with my friend today, which eagle eyed readers will realise will exceed my budget for the week. In all honesty, I've taken it out of next week but as next week is going to be sizably less tight I think this is okay. It cheered me up too. Really really need to buy that birthday card tomorrow and get it posted and walk to work. Here's hoping.

Alcohol free for a week now! :T

Scuff

Hey Fudge, Ive been away for a few days and so I'm frantically trying to catch up on everyone's diaries but just wanted to say hope you're okay and you're doing really well being strong against the ex. It's understandable (& not teenage at all, we're entitled to feelings!!) and it's much better putting stuff down on 'paper' than holding it up and then doing something you'll regret in the morning stay strong lady!!

Fudgefund

Thanks Scuff! If I didn't have people to talk to about my ex I'd go totally mad (again) :rotfl:It always amuses me when people call me 'lady', I always have a weird desire to respond, 'I aint no lady'. I really need to stop doing that. :think:

Today I have good news and bad news on the spending front. I realised I had to pay for my lottery syndicate at work (£5) so decided to bring tomorrow's budget forward by one day. Now I'm going to have to be super careful that Thursday doesn't become the new Friday! I am pleased as punch because I managed to stick to my £21 for the week so was able to buy my sister a £30 Sainsburys gift card and pay another £20 off my Barclaycard! :jNow I only have £60 to go.

The really good news is that I actually walked to work today! The bad news is I seem to have pulled something in my leg and am hobbling around like Tiny Tim. Walking meant I only spent 90p on an evening return. I also bought my niece a birthday card (£1.50, isn't it great how the nation suddenly en masse decided to stop paying £3+ for a piece of card?) and two stamps (£1.20). I went into Tesco for more pitta and hummus and got them for £1.70, so the mystery of why they were £1.99 the other day deepens. I did buy them from a different store, so never again. I also got myself 5 Curly Wurly's for a pound, because it's been ages since I bought some chocolate and my stomach thinks my throat's been cut.

So, out of my £70 for the week, I have spent about £10 (the remaining 60p is in my jar). I want to keep £20 for the big BC, which leaves me with £40. I want to have another really quiet weekend, so I'm hoping to live on £40 this week. £12 will be going on a bus pass because I've got to get to places the train won't reach tomorrow and as it's £4 for a day I may as well get a week. I need to spend £7.65 on my prescription, which I can't avoid, the last time I ran out of money and couldn't get it I was literally crawling to the pharmacy by the time I had money again. It was not fun and not something I'd ever make the mistake of doing again. Makes me wonder what people with low incomes do when they're in a pinch.

Scuff

I AIN'T NO LAYYYDEEEE

*exaggerated finger wagging*

Ahh the amusement... :rotfl:

MuffinTops

Sounds like there's a lot of good there! Overall a major positive.

So sorry to hear about your leg pains though! That's not good, and hopefully won't put you off walking again.

The pitta and houmous mystery needs solving! Let's get you a cape and a monocle and get this cleared up once and for all! Curly Wurly's £1 !!! The 4lb I'm putting on next weight is all your fault! I love curly wurly's.

It's lovely hearing your updates and how well you're doing overall.

Fudgefund

Oh Scuff, that made me laugh, thank you.

MT, the main thing to put me off walking to work is the general 'glow' I achieve by the time I get in. I could have a shower n the cyclists' shower bit but the idea of public showers turns my stomach. Apart from swimming pool ones.

I love Curly Wurlys but good God, I had forgotten how hard going they are on your teeth. Might have to stick to a finger of fudge in the future, live up to my name.

I'm back to confess tonight i'm afraid. I've had a really bad weekend and was tempted to throw my diary in all together because I was scared of getting bad comments but I realise I can't undo all my good work in 24 hours so I need to carry on.

I was in a miserable mood on Friday, I had to pick up a prescription from near where I used to live and it just really upset me. I went out on Friday night, drank a lot of vodka and you can guess the rest. I spent all of yesterday throwing up, the real low point being hit in the face by the self closing toilet lid half way through vomiting! I have a head full of regrets, the only positive being I don't seem to have mortally offended anyone I was out with and I didn't spend too much. To be honest, I can't remember most of it.

However, all of this has given me a bit of a new LBM to work with, and I've been thinking about it ever since. I think my relationship with alcohol has now completely broken down and I need to quit in a very serious way. I told a very good friend of mine about this today and she was very supportive, and has offered to come out with me and not drink either.

I realise I need to treat this as seriously as my debt problems and that is what I plan to do, so I'm adding 'days since I last drank' to my signature.

Sorry this post is a bit serious, but I need to record this here while it's all so clear in my mind.

In other news I found 50p at the bottom of my handbag today, so that was pretty magic and I've managed to grow my change jar to £6.81. When it hits £20 I'll put it towards BC.

I feel a lot better for getting all that off my chest.

alwaysworried_2

I've read your diary Fudge, I think your doing great, all those little amounts to your diary mount up.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Well done for facing up to the problem fudgie and for not running from your diary. You are halfway to success just by admitting the problem.

I'm not a big fan of alcohol to be honest. My Dad was an alcoholic and died of liver failure almost 6 years ago aged just 50. He turned to alcohol to self medicate his ME despite everyone's pleas for him not to. He was a different person in the end but I mourn my 'original' Dad. My DH and I also split up for a while not long after that as I couldn't cope with his drinking and was worried he would go the same way as my Dad. He doesn't drink at all now as he feels it controls him not the other way round and he isn't able to just have one or two. We are both much happier now as it isn't even a consideration. I do know how hard it is though. Have you checked out the alcohol support diary on here?

Xx

Fudgefund

Thanks alwaysworried! I do my best to keep paying off bits here and there if I'm not brave enough to pay off as much as I could feasibly stretch to at the beginning of my pay month. Works for me.

And thanks for sharing that PLMBL, I really appreciate it. :A I come from a family of very heavy drinkers, but apart from my Dad none of them have mental health problems so they don't understand my difficulty. I am the same as your husband, I can't have one or two glasses, things always totally spiral out of control. I'm going to try my hardest to cut this out of my life and I've told my Mum that she better get the Shloer in for Christmas!

beanielou

Well done on realising that you have a problem & taking steps to deal with it.