Anyone remember me?

bluebag

BlushingRose wrote: »

Thanks x

I don't feel like I'm made of 'very stout stuff', I feel like I'm made of weak and feeble stuff.

Stuff and nonsense!!! Lady you are a tough old boot! You are dealing with all your problems head on, depression and debt... things that on their own can crush people. There you are standing by your loved one for richer and poorer, trying to make the very best of everything, including Christmas.

You have a long difficult road to tread, we all have really in some way , you just have a map for yours. The rest of us often just get nasty suprises.

You just took a bit of a clanging on here too, and didn't flounce off in a huff, so don't tell me you're not tough! I am one real tough b**ch, I got that way doing what you're doing now, having life give you a good kicking and still getting up and spitting it in the eye.

Keep on going hon, you'll do OK, us toughies always do.

Lou67

Some good posts on here. Good luck to the OP.

chevalier

Hi BR, at least your OH is not flat out refuing to sell, at least he will talk about it. When was the last time you got a couple of estate agents in to give you a valuation. Maybe there is more equity there than he thinks?

I was sorry to see that his income had fallen, is there any way he can make up that short fall? Or yourself. Whilst I know you are ill, could you manage doing online surveys? Or your OH.

Being an old hand I have assumed you have checked all of your utilities and insurances to make sure you have the cheapest?

good luck
chev

Mikazaru

How much longer is left on the mortgage? Unless it's a longer term one it will finish before the DMP so you'd be able to throw a lot more at the DMP so it won't be for 28 years. If you work out how much quicker you can pay it off then you won't have the 28 years hanging over you.

BlushingRose

Mikazaru wrote: »

How much longer is left on the mortgage? Unless it's a longer term one it will finish before the DMP so you'd be able to throw a lot more at the DMP so it won't be for 28 years. If you work out how much quicker you can pay it off then you won't have the 28 years hanging over you.

I'm actually not sure, I'll have to ask.
Mr BR did re-mortgage the house for a couple of reasons a few years ago, so it may well be a while yet, but it's a good point that I hadn't considered.

BlushingRose

chevalier wrote: »

Hi BR, at least your OH is not flat out refuing to sell, at least he will talk about it. When was the last time you got a couple of estate agents in to give you a valuation. Maybe there is more equity there than he thinks?

Possibly. It's not been evaluated since the re-mortgage a few years ago.

chevalier wrote: »

I was sorry to see that his income had fallen, is there any way he can make up that short fall? Or yourself. Whilst I know you are ill, could you manage doing online surveys? Or your OH.

I do online surveys although I never seem to get many to do.
It's possible he could get some private tutoring..

chevalier wrote: »

Being an old hand I have assumed you have checked all of your utilities and insurances to make sure you have the cheapest?

good luck
chev

Yup

mum2one

BlushingRose wrote: »

Thanks.
Re: the counselling, it's not a new thing, been going on now for a few months and will cease in about 5 weeks. I feel worried about this as I don;t feel 'fixed'.

I'm waiting to start the councelling route, - apparently mine is a 2hr intro session, which I'm calling pandoras box, then I get 6 sessions, (there paid for by my GP), but it does say on the initial paperwork that if they feel you need more councelling after the intial 6 sessions, they will recommend them, - and options to pay (typical), but its a sliding pay scale - I'm guessing as I'm low income on ESA, that if I did need more then it would be free, just thinking aloud more than anything as to whether that is how the pratice works where your getting councelling - I'm guessing you would be classed as low income. xx

mum2one

Slowdown wrote: »

Weak and feeble people don't tackle their problems. They run and hide. They submerse themselves in self pity and immobility, often with the help of alcohol, drugs or quite a number of other things. They fail to work their problems through and end up in a much worse place. I don't think you are.
And just remember it was the tortoise who won the race.
Kind regards
Slowdown

I second that and more, you are strong, and thou it may not feel like it, trust me u are strong xxx

BlushingRose

mum2one wrote: »

I'm waiting to start the councelling route, - apparently mine is a 2hr intro session, which I'm calling pandoras box, then I get 6 sessions, (there paid for by my GP), but it does say on the initial paperwork that if they feel you need more councelling after the intial 6 sessions, they will recommend them, - and options to pay (typical), but its a sliding pay scale - I'm guessing as I'm low income on ESA, that if I did need more then it would be free, just thinking aloud more than anything as to whether that is how the pratice works where your getting councelling - I'm guessing you would be classed as low income. xx

Interestingly, today, my therapist has says that she wants to refer me on for psychotherapy. There is a waiting list of about 4 months though, she says, but she feels I would benefit more from it, so I need to decide if that's a route I want to take.

BlushingRose

Slowdown wrote: »

Weak and feeble people don't tackle their problems. They run and hide. They submerse themselves in self pity and immobility, often with the help of alcohol, drugs or quite a number of other things. They fail to work their problems through and end up in a much worse place. I don't think you are.
And just remember it was the tortoise who won the race.
Kind regards
Slowdown

Thanks so much x