Anyone remember me?

wannabee_in_credit

Hi BR

I've been wondering for ages where you were, and hoping you were ok...
I agree with the others - maybe time to consider something else other than dmp. 28 years is soul destroying.
xxx

BlushingRose

Apparently, because the house is worth more than the debts, we can't go bankrupt. Likewise, it appears an IVA is out for the same reason.
CCCS was asking Mr BR about the house when he rang to tell them the latest news, so it's clear they were thinking along the same lines at the time.

Angry_Bear

Then as painful as it sounds, have you considered selling up? I'm not saying this would be the right option for you but if downsizing is a possibility then you should at least consider it (maybe you already have of course).

BlushingRose

I've mentioned it to Mr BR from time to time as a possibility but he really doesn't want to do that. Personally, I wouldn't mind moving, starting new in a new place but as everything's in his name, there's not a lot I can do on that score.
he seems to find it all easier to deal with than I do anyway.

poppasmurf_bewdley

BlushingRose wrote: »

Thanks, the debt is on a couple of CC and a bank loan, but yes I know what you mean.
I think it's the 'only just making it to the end of the month' thing for the next 28 years which is hard to cope with, esp with the lead up to Christmas

You can't afford Christmas. No ifs, no buts. You can't afford it.

Tell everyone that this year, you cannot afford to buy Xmas presents and you don't want anyone to buy you presents.

And don't buy a turkey or whatever, nor tins of chocolates, or anything else that costs you extra money.

Yes, it's a hard thing to do but once you've done it, it will get easier next year. Lots of people on this forum have done it in the past (me included) and family and friends will be a lot easier about it than you imagine.

BlushingRose

poppasmurf_bewdley wrote: »

You can't afford Christmas. No ifs, no buts. You can't afford it.

Tell everyone that this year, you cannot afford to buy Xmas presents and you don't want anyone to buy you presents.

And don't buy a turkey or whatever, nor tins of chocolates, or anything else that costs you extra money.

Yes, it's a hard thing to do but once you've done it, it will get easier next year. Lots of people on this forum have done it in the past (me included) and family and friends will be a lot easier about it than you imagine.

Yes we can.
it'll be sparse, but I'm celebrating Jesus birth one way or another.

poppasmurf_bewdley

BlushingRose wrote: »

Yes we can.
it'll be sparse, but I'm celebrating Jesus birth one way or another.

You can go to church to celebrate, and that doesn't cost anything.

I don't remember anything in the scriptures which says he demands you spend money on celebrating his birthday.

BlushingRose

poppasmurf_bewdley wrote: »

You can go to church to celebrate, and that doesn't cost anything.

I don't remember anything in the scriptures which says he demands you spend money on celebrating his birthday.

And I will be as I always do.
No, birthdays are not mentioned at all in the Bible, if I remember correctly.
However, we've been buying little presents for people in charity shops and similar places throughout the year, so presents are going to be given by us, but in a much reduced way.
This is our fist Christmas on a DMP and we've been saving monthly with ASDA as well, so with any luck we'll be able to have a little celebration.

rising_from_the_ashes

BlushingRose wrote: »

Apparently, because the house is worth more than the debts, we can't go bankrupt. Likewise, it appears an IVA is out for the same reason.

BlushingRose wrote: »

I've mentioned it to Mr BR from time to time as a possibility but he really doesn't want to do that. Personally, I wouldn't mind moving, starting new in a new place but as everything's in his name, there's not a lot I can do on that score.
he seems to find it all easier to deal with than I do anyway.

mmmmm I wondered by BR wasn't feasible - to look at the positive side, at least you do have that as an option to fall back on.

I know it's a really hard thing to do (I have actually done it) but at the end of the day I got to the point where I was getting more & more into debt each month and just couldn't go on the way I was - and 28 years is a hell of a long time to be struggling / doing without things etc.

Maybe he'll have a reconsider at some point.

Anyway, we're all here ......

antonic

BlushingRose wrote: »

Hi all,

I'm back because I've realised I need support while this DMP keeps plodding on.
Due to a change in MR BR's salary, we're now down £120 a month and so, of course the payments to CCCS have had to go down and now we're looking at 28 years of this if nothing changes.
Very hard to stay positive, frankly.
Help?

BR, sending you loads of moral support , you can do it !