Anyone remember me?

BlushingRose

antonic wrote: »

BR, sending you loads of moral support , you can do it !

Thanks!
I need positive vibes and suggestions to keep me/us going (which doesn't mean being told we can't do Christmas!)

BlushingRose

rising_from_the_ashes wrote: »

mmmmm I wondered by BR wasn't feasible - to look at the positive side, at least you do have that as an option to fall back on.

I know it's a really hard thing to do (I have actually done it) but at the end of the day I got to the point where I was getting more & more into debt each month and just couldn't go on the way I was - and 28 years is a hell of a long time to be struggling / doing without things etc.

Maybe he'll have a reconsider at some point.

Anyway, we're all here ......

Thanks hon,

Perhaps he will, you never know.
I have suggested selling the house before, it being our choice, but he really doesn't want to and ultimately the debts (and the house) are all his, so *shrug*
But as you say, it might be something that might happen in the future.
We can keep on keeping on, as they say, but it's difficult with things being so tight and not having spare money for things like the fence or the sofa (both of which are broken) but not having an overdraft nor credit cards is difficult but empowering, if that makes sense.

poppasmurf_bewdley

BlushingRose wrote: »

Thanks!
I need positive vibes and suggestions to keep me/us going (which doesn't mean being told we can't do Christmas!)

I didn't say you 'couldn't do Christmas'.

I said 'you can't afford Christmas'.

There is a huge difference.

Angry_Bear

BlushingRose wrote: »

I have suggested selling the house before, it being our choice, but he really doesn't want to and ultimately the debts (and the house) are all his, so *shrug*

Maybe, but you still have to live in the same style (i.e. skint!)

Anyways, I tend to do a lot of surveys at this time of year and use any "free" money I get from that to improve Christmas. That might be a possibility :xmastree:

Best of luck, I'll be lurking
(Erm, hope that doesn't sound too stalkery)

endora

poppasmurf_bewdley wrote: »

You can't afford Christmas. No ifs, no buts. You can't afford it.

Tell everyone that this year, you cannot afford to buy Xmas presents and you don't want anyone to buy you presents.

And don't buy a turkey or whatever, nor tins of chocolates, or anything else that costs you extra money.

Yes, it's a hard thing to do but once you've done it, it will get easier next year. Lots of people on this forum have done it in the past (me included) and family and friends will be a lot easier about it than you imagine.

:eek: WHY? Are BR and family supposed to spend the next 28 years without Christmas, presents, turkey or chocolates? What is this? jail? She didn't kill anyone!

Financial institutions already have enough money and have made all our lives miserable for years and years while they keep lining the pockets of those who sail in them. :mad: :mad: :mad: Banks should never, ever, come above your family!
:xmastree:

eyeopener2

Can I ask how old you will be when the debt is cleared ?(indeed IF it is cleared in 28 years time because if interest is started again, you may never be free). Will you be near retirement? Over retirement age?

Convince your OH to sell the house, clear the debt, start afresh somewhere else and enjoy this ONE life you have.

E2

Allypops

Of course you can do Christmas!

Because of the DMP, I am finding that I am giving more thought to small, meaningful treats for family and friends rather than just giving the credit cards a hammering!! This will carry on after the debt is gone as it means more to me, and to them, I think.

We'll also be cutting down on food and drink as so much usually gets wasted - so it will be more like a Sunday lunch (with seasonal extras like cranberry sauce and I even found a left over box of crackers from 3 years ago - hope they still bang!).

Life can be difficult when you're on a DMP and you have to cut back and make sacrifices. However, you are allowed to have a life! I'm sure some people would have us dress in rags or eat bread and water for the terms of our DMPs (or perhaps they'd like to bring back debtors prisons) but hey, that's their opinion - and they are welcome to it.

BlushingRose

Thanks folks,

Mr BR will be over retirement age in 28 years time, but of course we're hoping that something will change for the better before then!

I think, the fact that we're not quite a year into the DMP means we're still adjusting, and we're still not quite there yet.

Standingtall

Wow Blushing Rose, hello, how are you? I also popped back onto here a few weeks ago.

You know what, you have one thing that I haven't got, something that you should really appreciate and something that I dearly wish I had, to see me through all this - someone to share it all with. The two of you have each other and that counts for so much!

I still have 15 years of so left:eek: however I have only me to take this burden. Admittedly I live reasonably well due to travel allowances, Christmas bonus, etc, however the overtime has now stopped and there are not many orders in the pipeline so I am more than a little worried. I remind myself of all those however that are so much more worse off than me. Think of little April Jones' parents right now - I bet they would give up all their surplus income for ever if she could walk through their front door right now! Harsh and extreme I know but true nonetheless.

Now I remembr a time when you could not sleep BR, it was not long after I had been unable to sleep. Remember that cold sick feeling of dread in the middle of the night!

So, enough of the moralising and sermons. Practical advice. Well, I bet you have started smoking through all this stress. So, when your income does go up a little, are you going to declare it, NO. You need it for your cigs. Declare some if you want, but you also need some treats along the way!

BlushingRose

Standingtall wrote: »

Practical advice. Well, I bet you have started smoking through all this stress. So, when your income does go up a little, are you going to declare it, NO. You need it for your cigs. Declare some if you want, but you also need some treats along the way!

Hiya babes!!

here, inbox me, would you? (or email me, I can't remember if we swapped those?)

I know what you're saying, re: smoking although it would be eating more stressed related cakes ;-)

I guess what I need, what Mr BR and I both need, is to manage to stay positive about it all, try and find the funny side (is there a funny side?!) and try not to let being poor define us. At the moment it DOES define us and it's getting us both down.

The problem is, now I have depression and so being positive about *anything* is difficult, frankly.

How's you?? x