Anyone remember me?

Time_to_face_the_music

Hi BR :hello:

I was only thinking about you the other day and wondering where you had got to! It's great to see you back but obviously not so good to hear that things aren't going too well

We were told that we were best not to do an IVA because of the amount of equity in our house, i.e very low mortgage compared to the value of the house. If you are saying that the value of your house and the outstanding mortgage are similar, i.e. there is low equity in the house, I think an IVA is definitely an option. Hopefully Fat Belly or someone infinitely wiser than me will be along and comment on this

We too were struggling with the idea of Christmas and wanting to make it special. We have decided to only buy gifts for our daughter and granddaughter and have been stockpiling tiny little things all year from charity shops, car boot sales, Home Bargain etc so they can have their usual Christmas stockings. Surveys and trade ins on Amazon have added up so far to just over £100 of Amazon gift vouchers! A work cash back scheme that I had forgotten about has enabled me to build up £100 of Sainsburys vouchers :j

I had counselling for depression some years ago after diagnosis of my illness, I thought it wasn't working but suddenly made a breakthrough after a while so give it a little time and it may start to get better. I am guessing by the time of your last post here that you are not sleeping and that is my most hated thing about worry, the endless sleepless nights

Take care and please stick around, you know we are all here for support

fatbelly

The problem with an IVA in this case is that there's not really enough monthly surplus to put one together, at least as things stand.

BR would need about £300 per month clear to even make a proposal.

jasperconran

hiya BR, I remember reading your posts and I too had wondered where you had gone!

We are in a similar position as my hubbys wages have dropped by £1000 per month:eek::eek: so our dmp has gone from 5 years to 19!!!:eek: the creditors are playing merry hell over this, HSBC/D&G (their in house peeps) cant seem to get their head round it and I am fed up with sending the same flaming CCCS letters:mad: D & G asked me for a financial statement the other day to which I replied no! you've already had one muppets!

I have days and days were I am seriously depressed, OH just buries his head in the sand and carries on like normal. wish I could do that.

I am trying hard to find work, but its hard. know how you feel hun and my heart goes out to you. perhaps we could support each other?

speak soon babe, chin up JC xxxxx

Time_to_face_the_music

fatbelly wrote: »

The problem with an IVA in this case is that there's not really enough monthly surplus to put one together, at least as things stand.

Thanks fatbelly, I don't know a massive amount about IVAs just what we were advised on our situation.

The statement re value of house being more than debt didn't seem to make sense as I assume that is the case in most situations and I wanted to make sure BR hadn't been given incorrect information.

What's the lowest % of debt that an IVA would usually accept?

eyeopener2

I thought that you had plenty of equity in the house, which is why you couldn't go bankrupt, and selling the house would clear your debts. If you haven't got any equity, then you have no asset as such so surely you could pull the plug and go for the nuclear option.

So really you have two options as you can't go IVA or make anything selling the house. Bankruptcy or DMP for 28 years (unless something changes).

Speak to someone other than CCCS (although I agree they are good), maybe National Debtline and see what they say about all this. A fresh pair of eyes may give you other ideas/options.

E2

BlushingRose

That's the thing though, you're reading into my words, I am not resentful of the situation. It's happened, we're here and we're dealing with it. Yes, I said we, because WE are dealing with it.

However, what I don't need is someone like you throwing accusations to me about things you know nothing about. I have depression, I have an anxiety disorder and you are seriously not helping.
If it makes you feel better, I have been in tears about what you posted earlier. I have spoken with Mr BR about and repeated what you said and he got angry and said that, if anything, I have taken more responsibility for it than he has as if he'd taken more, we wouldn't be in the position that we're in now.
I hope you're satisfied.
I wish to God this forum had a 'block' option, frankly.

fatbelly

BlushingRose wrote: »

.
I wish to God this forum had a 'block' option, frankly.

It does, sort of:

Can I block posts, emails and messages from specific users?

If there are particular members that bother you and you do not want to see their posts or receive Private Messages and Emails from them, then you can add these members to your 'Ignore List'. There are several ways to do this:

Through your User Control Panel: User CP, Settings & Options, Edit Ignore List. Then, type their name into the empty text box and click 'Okay'.

BlushingRose

fatbelly wrote: »

It does, sort of:

Thank you, I shall give that some serious consideration x

Allypops

From the forum guide, Blushing Rose:

How do I put someone on my ignore list?


The "ignore facility" is a useful tool that means if you don't like the way someone posts you can opt not to read what they write. To add someone to your ignore list click on their username then view profile. You'll see they've posted but won't be able to view the content unless you choose to. If you feel their posts are disrupting the forum then report them to the Forum Team.






................................................................................................

Also from the Forum guide is Martin's quote:

Debt Free Wannabe is one of my favourite boards on this site, but there's a delicate balance. Many people with serious debts have hidden them for some time, been scared to confront them, suffered depression or have even had suicidal thoughts because of them. While elsewhere on the site robust discussion is welcomed, in Debt Free Wannabe (and the Benefits and Disability & Dosh Boards), may I politely ask MoneySavers to err on the side of kindness.
Of course many are in debt due to over-spending, financial illiteracy, or mismanagement of money (and some through no fault of their own, just due to change of circumstance). Yet the fact they are here means they're looking for help, guidance and to take charge of their finances - and that in itself is admirable.
Please use your knowledge and kindness to help them rather than to berate or judge. This board often moves me to tears with the sheer power of the community that's grown and I hope it will continue. If you feel it's important to point something out that the poster may find negative but needs to understand, then it's not a problem, but do think carefully about your phrasing - people can be very sensitive and nuances may mislead when it's in an online forum.
I love this forum. Many have used it to work through their debts. Yet as it gets larger it's easy for the 'anonymity' of posting to mean as well as protecting users, it's easy to 'post and leave'. I hope this note may act as a wee reminder what it's all about."





Blushing Rose, I think that counselling can take a while to take effect and sometimes you can even feel worse before you feel better as you work through difficult issues. Also, you have to have a good rapport with a counsellor/therapist and sometimes you might just not "click" with them so sometimes it can be worth changing.

I hope you have a better sleep tonight - things always look better after a decent kip!

Take care

Ally

tenbob84

BlushingRose wrote: »

For the record (and I'm just splitting hairs here) Mr BR borrowed and spent, not me. However, in spite of the fact that we're not married, I'm here, supporting him as best I can but it's taking it's toll on my mental health.

to put it simply, if he will not sell the house to ease the pressure on you both i would consider leaving him. twenty eight years is basically giving up you best years to help pay for the mistakes he has made, and that is truly awful. if it was me and you were my partner i would be telling you to leave me.