My daughter has been detained :( .........UPDATE!

gizmo111

I spoke to the district mental health worker before the meeting who basicaly said she has to be released soon and i have to basically put up with it and cannot ask for her to be accomodated because its not allowed.

Wonder what training she did? Of course it's allowed .......who does she think it is not allowed by - it has to be agreed by social services but it is definetly allowed.

I said i'd taken legal advice and was told im well within my rights but she said social services would not give me a section 20 care order and if I tried to turn up with her and leave her there then i could be charged with abandonment or if i failed to let her in if the hospital send her home in a taxi, which they are getting close to doing because of her behaviour.

Have you spoke to the social worker about S20 accommodation? It is not a care order it is a voluntary agreement and you retain PR - what about residential school has this been explored as an alternative at all.

She said people seem to think they can accomodate their child but its not true, i said so what if i was a young parent and couldnt cope and wanted to adopt my child and she said you cant adopt your child especially a teenager (I explained that was just an example and i dont want her adopted) and that its not allowed and the only way s.services would accomodate her is if she was at risk from me and even then only the most serious cases.... she sounds very bitter and misinformed also she said she visits families where kids get hit and abused and they work with the family to reduce risk and give the child tips on how to get away or phone police if things get too bad. Really - where is this dangerous Local Authority?

Is she for real or what surely this cant be true. I explained that my other 3 children are at risk from her as am i and to summarise she basically said i have to put up with it and try and mage it as best i can and hope she gets some medication that works for her!!!

On the basis that the other children are at risk it is a Child Protection issue and social services need to act to help you protect them.

She did say she had spoken to the social worker and asked her to speak to manager about specialised child care which is the next best thing to respite which is where a childminder will look after her 1 day a week (or 1 day every 6 mths knowing their budget) but only in the day time, not overnight. Respite is apparently only given to the very severely disabled.

What has the social worker said to you? What is in their care plan for your daughter?
Not sure about the CPA being the best route - you need a package of care around the child - CPA is for adults I think. Ask yor GP to speak/write to Social Worker and ask for a CIN Review.

whitewing

Perhaps the new medicine will make a huge difference to her; let's hope so.

teabag29

Social worker hasnt said anything yet as havent seen her, she is due to come tomorrow at 2

gizmo111

teabag29 wrote: »

Social worker hasnt said anything yet as havent seen her, she is due to come tomorrow at 2

Your daughter has been in a MH secure unit for nearly 2 weeks and you have had no communication from the SW? Another complaint comin from you on the cards.
Let us know what the LA plans are tomorrow.
Take Care

teabag29

Have spoken to dd tonight and she seems much calmer, her language is still apalling though and she has been very rude to the nurses. She has disclosed to me that the day she went to my brothers house she took 3 tablets from my brothers kitchen and had them, she told the nurses this days ago and they have failed to mention it to me.....probably scared of the complaint being more serious.

She is feeling ok about trying this hospital school out and starting medication tomorrow. She told me that she loves me and asked if I still loved her, was very hard to keep my emotions in check. I told her ofcourse I love her and im only trying to do whats bet to protect her and that it hurts me when she keeps lashing out at me and being abusive. She said she was sorry and couldnt help it but she is still adament she will try suicide when she gets out, she said she has tried in there but its hard as everything is locked away.

They gave her a questionnaire today and the first question asked about still feeling suicidal and she ticked yes

dr discussed an overnight stay this weekend but told them thats gonna be impossible as im at a family friends funeral and i'll be in lincs till wednesday...... he said we'll work it for next week then so atleast thats a chance to see if the medication is having an effect.

Tomorrow I meet the social worker properly and discuss things with her. Any tips on what I should be asking (whats her care plan, what support can they offer etc)

londonsurrey

You can be straight with her, and tell her that you always love her. You just don't always like her behaviour.

daska

If you haven't already then pull out of your diary a list of events etc of how she behaves towards her siblings and the effect on them, anything that indicates a pattern of trigger points during the day/ week/ year that you need support with etc.

Best advice: don't underplay anything by even an iota, SS never offer all the help you need straight off.

She should bring assessment papers with her that you fill in together and I would expect there to be one for her and one for you as carer. If her siblings have to take any of the brunt then they should have young carer assessments as well.

And, if the conversation ever strays towards just addressing her and your interactions/ needs just keep pushing it back to include the needs of/ impact on her siblings, the breakdown of your family unit etc.

daska

How did it go teabag?

j.e.j.

I hope you have not been fobbed off by the social worker, OP. They are rather expert at talking and in my experience they often say things that are not true, probably to lessen their workload and put the burden back onto the carer, in this case you.

If you communicate with them in writing as much as possible, it's harder for them to do this. I doubt the SW would have even put half that stuff she'd said to you in a letter..

londonsurrey

j.e.j. wrote: »

I hope you have not been fobbed off by the social worker, OP. They are rather expert at talking and in my experience they often say things that are not true, probably to lessen their workload and put the burden back onto the carer, in this case you.

If you communicate with them in writing as much as possible, it's harder for them to do this. I doubt the SW would have even put half that stuff she'd said to you in a letter..

That's so true. I had a friend who came under the scrutiny of social workers.

They were very good at telling her what to do, but not helping in any way. She discovered that when she came up with lists of things they could actually help her with, they magically started vanishing. Funny that.