Single DFW

Monkeyballs

Skinnylatte wrote: »

I too stumbled across this thread, I've had a few short term relationships over the past 2 years, and am currently single. My debt is my own fault and my responsibility. I'm also a single parent. Looking forward to being debt free like some of you guys. Sometimes it seems insurmountable and it's a lonely journey.
I intend staying single now until the debts paid. Dating is expensive and it's not fair to inflict this lot on any-one else!

Hi Skinny,

Well you're in the right place if you are looking for company on your journey (albeit virtual LOL).

That said, being in debt shouldn't put you off finding someone if that's what you want I'm old and crusty but ultimately happy in my own company and not interested anyway

But, if you are feeling lonely then having that special person can obviously help so long as they understand your situation so as to avoid those awkward excuses as to why you can't/don't want to do anything spur of the moment and why you're happy to eat pasta and cheap sauce with no meat towards the end of the month LOL

MB

vw_campervan_mum

Dating is an expense so like you say easier to not bother. It is good to spend time on your own and rediscover what you are like. Good luck guys

Muhren

I have done my monthly sig update.

I'm going to have an expensive couple of months coming up as I have a stag do in Hamburg, a weekend away in Bristol followed by two weddings. So probably won't be making much headway in reducing my debt for a while but should have an enjoyable couple of months in the process!

Danni-R

Hi Muhren,

Dont let a few expensive months distract you. We all need our 'treats'.

I should update the sig again but its too depressing.

My mum paid off the OD and I'm paying her back with the HM rent so another 3 months and I'll be OD free. Still have my CC. the one I got 'just for emergencies'.... But I dont want to take a step back and update the sig.

About to become another DFW again as well. Been seeing this girl, but she lives 60 miles away. and whilst its only an hour to get home (if its late) its getting expensive and boy she eats a lot. Cant afford to keep up!

Hope everyone is doing well? New week new start?!

Muhren

At least your money situation is better than mine!

I was seeing a girl a couple of years ago that lived about an hour away and we just never saw enough of each other so can understand where you are coming from on that front.

NinjaSavingKat

Muhren wrote: »

I have done my monthly sig update.

I'm going to have an expensive couple of months coming up as I have a stag do in Hamburg, a weekend away in Bristol followed by two weddings. So probably won't be making much headway in reducing my debt for a while but should have an enjoyable couple of months in the process!

Haven't been here in a while. I am debt free now but still single by choice. However.... I felt the need to stick my boot in and 'ave a word so forgive me if I come across as a little brash or forward...I just kinda care about fellow singletons...:p:p:p..(Capital lettering for emphasis only, I promise I am not shouting at you)....

Why oh Why do you think you deserve a "couple of fun months"..? You should have said NO to both those weekend ESPECIALLY the one that takes you out of the country...

This will be a big drinking weekend yes? For a good friend otherwise you won't be going yes? Have you guestimated what you can spend.. ..travel to airport, food for the day possibly in the airport, on-flight drinks "cause everyone else might have a beer", meals every night, drinks, contributing towards the grooms drinks, entrance to the clubs... etc etc..

You want to get below £20k this year right..? Thats £1000 a month - how is that factoring in exactly? If you meet that girl of your dreams wouldn't you rather have a spare £50 to spend on the first date that spend £250 on alcohol..Cause that's one of your goals right?

I am a little more hardcore than most when it comes to debt busting - but I am now debt free, was debt free earlier than expected and now have savings...

YOU MUST cut out all unneccessary spending. Yes this includes NO holidays. I spent £1000 on my 30th Birthday as my only treat last year - wish I hadn't bothered. I don't know if you have got yourself a super job within the last time I was here but juding from the highlighted wording above I am guessing not as you are not contributing to your debts at all.. I factored in my holiday expenditure on top of debt repayements..

You really really need to have a single minded focus here and consider setting a very strict budget for both weekends. Can you assign yourself as "groom bodyguard" which negates the need for too much drinking..? Set a budget for Bristol or not go at all..?

You HAVE to be selfish - debt busting is all about you, you and only you! Not spending, not going out with friends, not going on holiday, not going for meals, not going to cinema etc.... Because you are living for you! And if you don't do this now you won't get to that £19,999K goal!!

Sorry that's just my tuppence worth.... What do you think..?

NinjaSavingKat

Danni-R wrote: »

.. But I dont want to take a step back and update the sig.

Cant afford to keep up!

Update the sig and make it real. Stop hiding from it...:p

Explain things to her. If she is okay with yoru situations and sharing journeys and food then she's a keeper - if not and she gets a little "princessy" then she ain't the girl for you - so you are ultimately wasting your money - please see above - time to get a little selfish! Just a little mind you!

Muhren

NSK - that was certainly an interesting read and whilst I do agree with a lot of what you said I don't want to completely put my life on hold whilst I am paying off my debt, others on here, yourself included don't agree with that but each to their own. I certainly don't deserve to be going away but I have just done a month off of the booze and won't be going out again until the stag do which has already been paid for and my budget for Jan and Feb will cover the weekend away.

I might be able to get out of the weekend to Bristol and could drive to one of the weddings to keep the costs down. As someone who sufferes from depression the last thing I should really be doing is locking myself away from the the outside world is not the best thing for me.

It won't be that I won't be making any debt repayments it is just that they won't be as high as they have been over the last few months.

Danni-R

Hey NSK,

I think we just want different things. and I will update my signature....

2 points, he didnt say he wasnt contributing to his debts at all. Think the quote was 'probably not making much headway...'

And also, if you deny people all forms of entertainment then the majority will say that they will just splurge and regret it later. This way, its budgeted and gives people on the Long a$$ haul something to look forward to. Something that isnt 5 years in the future to celebrate.

My debt isnt massive but will take a long time to clear. I've weighed up the '£5-8 a week pub and dinner bill vs paying it off my debt. for the extra months it'll take me I'd rather be able to off load to my friends, have controlled 'enjoyment' spending instead of feeling neglected and hardship all the freaking time.

Plus, if I dont go out or have a friend over for dinner (my new favourite thing) then I can pay it off but its better than nothing and better than the £40 A WEEK restaurant bills I was picking up.


Moderation is the key.


*waddles off to eat pie*

Muhren

I think you have hit the nail on the head there Danni, moderation is the key.

Yes I want to pay off my debt as quickly as reasonably possible but I also want to have some sort of social life. Like you say, I would much rather it take an extra month or two to pay off what I owe and have some memories of times with my mates.

If people want to have no social life that is up to them but when you are debt free and look back at things they missed out on I think they will regret it.

I won't be going on a proper holiday for a while but a couple of days away a a mates stag do that I have known since I was around 10 wouldn't break the bank. There was talk of it being in Vegas, aside from me not being able to go there becasue I don't gamble anymore, I wouldn't have gone because that would have been too expensive.