Single DFW

NinjaSavingKat

I don't mean that you should never go out. I just meant to drop the unnessesary things. I had a cinema membership and a gym membership while debt busting as I still felt it important to get out and about. But 2 weddings,a trip abroad and a weekend away in the space of two months is alot.......but hey, you added you were still adding to the debt payments which is great.

But yes, each to their own and if this is whats needed to keep your depression at bay then so be it.

To me I was getting rid of debt in the shortest time possible in order to start REALLY living my life. It just depends on how determined and focused you are.

But everyones different.

Good Luck.

vw_campervan_mum

I spent 2 years on strict frugal living and ended up very depressed and isolated. With hindsight I would have been better off financially selling my house at a loss immediately as by the end of the 2 years I lost £50k on it and had only paid off £15k of debts.

We all need friends and some "fun" in our lives. I tend to have meals or a brew at home with friends and only occasionally go to pubs/gigs/cafes because of the expense. We all have to find a balance that keeps our lives rich in experiences, family and friends.

Finding a better financial lifestyle is a bit like dieting - we need to find a long term healthy diet not a quick fix starvation diet. The frugal lifestyle is what we need to do for the rest of our lives so it needs to be a sustainable, balanced one.

Build a little fun in :beer: and good luck to us all!

Danni-R

Hi NSK,

I think its true, everyone has their own things and it wouldnt do if we were all the same.

I think with depression its important not to isolate yourself, its hard to not feel like a complete f up when you're sitting by yourself with a mountain of debt. Its easier (and cheaper) to spend £1.85 on a diet coke three times a week than buy the anti d's or pay privately for therapy.


Plus, we'll all stay single for a hell of a lot longer if we dont go out and meet people!

partridge_pie

I am a single dad but have no intention or need for a partner - too much on with my son and other things. However, I value friendship and family and a decent balance of things.

I was at an all time low in November 2011 when I asked my wife to leave as she cheated on me but following on from that I had £13k+ debt of which a large chunk was down to my marriage and the lifestyle. I fell into the trap of marrying someone who was a retailers dream and could only be happy spending and buying things. Therefore the knock on effect was to create a debt for me.

Anyway once she left it all changed financially with the help of an interest free loan from my sister which I have now repaid and interest free credit card tarting. My debt is now £5300 which is still a lot but nothing compared to £13k - I was down in the dumps back then.

I could have paid a bit more off but would have had no social life whatsoever and lived on beans on toast - it was depressing enough as it was.

I cannot wait to get under the £5k mark as that is a significant barrier to overcome psychologically.

Saving is now my main priority after reducing the debt - really going for it too.

Keep it up everyone and keep your chins up!

partridge_pie

Skinnylatte wrote: »

I too stumbled across this thread, I've had a few short term relationships over the past 2 years, and am currently single. My debt is my own fault and my responsibility. I'm also a single parent. Looking forward to being debt free like some of you guys. Sometimes it seems insurmountable and it's a lonely journey.
I intend staying single now until the debts paid. Dating is expensive and it's not fair to inflict this lot on any-one else!

I agree with you there I couldnt give a relationship the treatment it deserves if I am in debt - it is not fair on the other person and I could not be a tight date! I know not everyone wants to date someone who is loaded but it is fair to say someone who can afford to go out and treat is what I would like to be at least if I meet someone.

Muhren

NinjaSavingKat wrote: »

I don't mean that you should never go out. I just meant to drop the unnessesary things. I had a cinema membership and a gym membership while debt busting as I still felt it important to get out and about. But 2 weddings,a trip abroad and a weekend away in the space of two months is alot.......but hey, you added you were still adding to the debt payments which is great.

But yes, each to their own and if this is whats needed to keep your depression at bay then so be it.

To me I was getting rid of debt in the shortest time possible in order to start REALLY living my life. It just depends on how determined and focused you are.

But everyones different.

Good Luck.

I didn't mean to sound like I was having a go just putting my point of view across. I'm not saying either one of us is right or wrong, each person is indeed different. I know that I would have a different attitude if I had a wife, and children to look after but at the moment I am still relatively young (30) and trips away with my mates are already becoming far less frequent.

I agree that all this happening in the space of 2 months is excessive but my trip to Hamburg will be classed as my holiday away this year, I haven't been away since I accumulated all my debt and my birthday is the day before one of the weddings so I won't be going out for my birthday.

I have taken on board your advice as you have been there and done it and hopefully I will get below 20k by the end of the year!

vw_campervan_mum

I have also put holidays/treats in to my budget. In Feb I have already been to my sisters 35th wedding anniversary family party and I am off to Brighton for a weekend. But to afford that I didn't go out/drink much in January and walked everywhere to save on fuel to offset the costs. My summer holidays will be working 2 festivals (free entrance/food).
If we can make a money saving virtue of even our fun times we are doing well with frugal living. The main thing is to be really thinking about our spending and not just blindly following the lemmings.

:Afellow singletons - keep up the tips. It is really good to see different points of view on lifestyle and spending. On here we are all trying to buck the "spend, spend, spend" or "keep up with the Jones'" type finances.

Muhren

Found out on Friday that the people renting my house have given their notice and will be moving out at the begining of March. Obviously not at all ideal but hopefully the estate agent will be able to find someone else to move it pretty quickly. So the amount that I am paying off my debt looks like it will be further reduced.

Danni-R

Oh that sucks. but at least you can hopefully get another lot in there quickly!

Hope everything else is going well?

Muhren

It does indeed suck! Thought they were going to be there for a while seeing as they painted the back fence and table and chairs and put up plant holders and things like that. Maybe they have found somewhere to buy?

They have looked after the place well so hopefully it won't be long before someone moves in.

Yeah everything is alright other than that. How about you, have you sorted the situation out with the girl you are seeing?