Single DFW

Petlamb

Funny to see the earlier posts in particular on this thread - my now-ex finished our relationship a few weeks back and while the first 2 days felt like my world was ending, everything then clicked into place and it seemed like the right thing. Still does, in fact.

And like some other posters, for all I have less money now, I know I'll clear my debts (racked up almost entirely when we were together) so much faster alone - I'm good with money while he'd spend a tenner if he had a fiver...

I'm not dealing with the loneliness thing though, luckily, as I've moved home and am living with my folks - another thing that will help my debt get down

Muhren

It may be a coincidence but I have found that since I got myself into debt trouble it seems that a lot of my friends are now in relationships and don't tend to go out as much. This actually suits me as I can save more money this way but still miss going out with the lads for a couple of beers at the weekend.

I have therefore found myself staying in quite a lot which can become boring, so for me having a girl in my life right would be nice. As I am now 30 it would be good to start thinking about settling down, but is it a good idea to start a relationship with so much debt?

AGirlWrites

I find the same Muhren, my friends doing things with their OH's does save me money by not having to go out all the time. At the same time I do think it would be nice to have someone to spend my time with.

I think you could start a relationship with someone as long as you find someone who would accept that cosy nights in, cooking for each other, watching films, walks in the park, etc would be the basis of your relationship with nights/meals out only for special occasions. I think loving someone shouldn't have to involve all the flowers, chocolates and 'fluff' that people think is essential nowadays.

Muhren

AGirlWrites wrote: »

I think loving someone shouldn't have to involve all the flowers, chocolates and 'fluff' that people think is essential nowadays.

This did make me laugh!

It is just a big thing to come out with to tell someone that you are in loads of debt as a result of gambling.

Also I find that living at home could also cause a bit of an issue as staying in would more often than not would have to be at their place.

NinjaSavingKat

I think I shall add my tuppence worth now that I have just turned the ripe age of 30!

I have been single for a year and a bit - though choice. I decided enough was enough, I had to look after me - which is ultimately what this year is about. Following a break up ( my choice ) in November 2011 - I did not truly feel single and "with it" until April 2012 due to one thing after another.. so the day after my 29th Birthday on the 5th April I vowed for one year - no dating. No relationships, no set-ups / speed dating, "lunches" with colleagues ( not that there were many of those by the way ) - but you get my drift.

The result - AMAZING! Focus on me, reign in spending and join MSE, kick-start challenges and really hunker down to getting rid of debt. No one is going to change my future but me - and on my own I stay in if I want, I don't eat in restaurants, I eat weird meals to keep within "budget" - I answer to no-one....

I am not saying that there are no benefits to being in a relationship ( since the 6th april 2013 I am now open to ) - but signing off from the dating pool does you good! Mentally more than anything...

Thats just me though... and yes I would be worried about someone telling me they have a gambling habit but you need to get it out straight away. Living the frugal way I do - if a boy came out with this a month or so down the line I'd be very annoyed! Honesty is always the best policy - if she is the girl for you she will work with you, stay in with you, buy yellow sticker "treats" and help you keep costs to a minimum - don't let debt stop you dating or your life.. but be realistic...don't take her to a fancy restaurant on your first date - plan ahead.. picnic with yellow sticker food with the labels taken off...:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Onwards and Upwards!

lulabelle

I'm sick of being single but have made a decision (due to all manner of disappointments) not to bother until 1 Jan 2014!

Like you last year Ninjakat, the rest of this year is all going to be about me and getting (i) rested, (ii) healthy (iii) thin and (iv) at peace with myself.

Have downloaded some amazing apps on istore - andrew johnston - can get loads of different ones and they put you into a deep state of relaxation and really do make you feel better!

NinjaSavingKat

lulabelle wrote: »

Like you last year Ninjakat, the rest of this year is all going to be about me and getting (i) rested, (ii) healthy (iii) thin and (iv) at peace with myself.

Love this! I am still working on number 1 , 2 and 3... 4 I am good with..:D..I signed off Facebook too. Gave me a lot more free time..lol!

Muhren

NinjaSavingKat wrote: »

Thats just me though... and yes I would be worried about someone telling me they have a gambling habit but you need to get it out straight away. Living the frugal way I do - if a boy came out with this a month or so down the line I'd be very annoyed! Honesty is always the best policy - if she is the girl for you she will work with you, stay in with you, buy yellow sticker "treats" and help you keep costs to a minimum - don't let debt stop you dating or your life.. but be realistic...don't take her to a fancy restaurant on your first date - plan ahead.. picnic with yellow sticker food with the labels taken off...:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Onwards and Upwards!

When would you want to be told, on the first time you met or a couple of weeks in?

I went out for a drink with a girl on Thursday that went ok, I don't think I will be seeing her again though. I told her that I had moved home but didn't want to go into detail as to why as it felt really awkward to come out with it staright away.

AGirlWrites

Muhren wrote: »

This did make me laugh!

It is just a big thing to come out with to tell someone that you are in loads of debt as a result of gambling.

Also I find that living at home could also cause a bit of an issue as staying in would more often than not would have to be at their place.

Honestly, I would would want to be told after a couple of dates, long enough to know I liked you enough to keep pursuing futher dates. I would be disappointed at first but it wouldn't be enough to stop from seeing you if we got on well. I've been on enough dates to know chemistry is worth a hell of a lot more than a healthy bank balance!

For what it's worth, I have my own flat and it wouldn't bother me one iota if my OH lived with his parents and we had to spend most of our time at mine. In fact, i'd probably prefer it.

Muhren

That's good to know as I was considering following others off of here and just taking a year out from dating, not that my financial problems would be resolved after a year but maybe I could stop beating myself up about what I have done in the past and be in a better place to meet someone.