Single DFW

milky1991

I have just discovered this thread. I am a SAD too I have been single and living alone now for just over a year, My debts at the moment stand at £23779... These have been brought about by having an ex wife who liked to spend money 3 times over and me not having the strength to tell her we can only spend it once. Holidays cars and house extensions etc.
Being single does put you in control of your finances but my problem is that as I earn the most all these debts were stupidly put in my name ( a lesson learnt there)
at present she is paying the loan of £425 and I am paying the mortgage £780 but she is looking to buy me out of the house for around £15K which would still leave me around £9K in debt.

The one thing I have achieved so far is reducing these debts from where they were at £27 K to what they are now, being single means I haven't had to borrow more money so the only way they are going is down, only not as fast as I would like as I wont overpay whilst the debt is for want of a better way of putting it a joint one even though it's in my name.

Once we have sorted the house out I will have sole control of this debt and pay it as fast as I can. I cannot remember being debt free but I WILL get there.

abundant1972

Hey all...

I would love to join this thread too!!!

Have been single... like - forever!!! I'm a gay guy who recently hit 40! Whilst I own my car - I don't own my own house or have a mortgage... Just debt and determination I got into debt when I was a student way back whenever... having no concept about what money was. I accepted loan after loan after credit card to fund a lifestyle I really couldn't afford.

It's taken me years to get to the point where I finally understand the value of money... but most of my peers and family left me behind financially, years ago. It seems everyone is in a couple - my siblings are both married and successful, and whilst I have a stable and secure job - it doesn't pay loads.

I've had lots of boyfriends - but nothing really serious for more than 6-12 months... I think I must be a nightmare to date ha ha!!! Now am just so used to my space, am just happy to have mates with benefits ha ha!!!! Maybe one day I'll settle...

However - as am sure all of you know - living alone is not without its pitfalls... You have to find the rent, the bills - all the costs on your own. That said - reading through some of the posts - having a partner can be a money sink - especially when they run off and leave you demanding half of everything! Not good. I don't think I'd ever get a Civil Partnership - or if I did we'd be paying in equally, and have our own spending accounts.

Aaaaanyway. Enough of my ramblings!!! Would be great just to be somewhere where there are other single guys and girls...

LBM: Jan 2012: Total Debt = £12,500
:idea:
Current Debt = £9,625

Am aiming to be debt free by the end of this year and am throwing *everything* at it. I was living alone in a rented place, which after all my expenses left me £80 to pay off my debts each month! Six months ago I moved into shared accommodation, saving an extra £400 a month! I figure it will be worth putting up with it in the short term, and am planning on sharing for the next few years.

I then really got into MSE and joined a few hardcore threads to challenge me to save and live on a tight budget which is challenging to say the least!!! Dec 31st 2013 seems like a long way off... but each £1 saved is a £1 closer to freedom.

Would be great to have some singletons along for the trip... and beyond that hopefully too!!!

:T

PS. You think we could plan something for February 14th??? Odd years I've taken myself out or had an evening where I made myself a nice meal... other years it's just flown by and I've hardly noticed. I don't get down about it... and part of me rebels against being told when I should be romantic!!! LOL. I'm just bitter and cynical ha ha!!!

laurel48

Hello and welcome to all the other newbie SADs like me.

It is amazing how many of us seemed to be worse off with the ex and I think my real LBM was actually walking out on him! Yes it has been a struggle as I left with nothing but a load of debts but I don't regret it for one minute.

Although I know it is a good way to reduce expenses I just cannot stand the thought of sharing with anyone else at the moment and would rather starve than go down that route again but then living with a total miser and muck magnet sunk me into a deep depression, I am so much happier being alone.

Good luck to all my fellow SAD's and this year be all that you wish for.

southernbelle

On Feb 14 I am planning to drink my body weight in gin, what is everyone else up to?

bargainbetty

southernbelle wrote: »

On Feb 14 I am planning to drink my body weight in gin, what is everyone else up to?

I was going with Jack Daniels, or possibly meeting up a few of the single ladies and having a good laugh while pointing and laughing at the 'stuck in a rut' couples struggling their way through horrendously over priced and generally awful fixed menu dinners.

Muhren

So did everyone manage to get through VD painlessly?!

Find_The_Real

Yes thanks for the second year running I didn't have a lazy slob sat on the sofa in his vest and underpants declaring he doesn't do Valentines Day as soon as I got in from working two jobs but the addition of 'where's my tea'.

Life is so much better being a single DFW - hello to you all btw.

Sazdaz

Just found this thread, cant believe I haven't seen it before as I was only thinking the other day I seem to be one of the odd single DFW.
Our debts and lack of dealing with money in a sensible manner is why I am single. In the end the stress of dealing with the money issues broke the camels back. Its funny now that we are not together we have realised just how much money we wasted on stuff. Luckily we are still friends so are both able to learn from it.
I ended up keeping the house etc but also ended up keeping all the costs, as he was able to go back to parents. However give him his due, he is working at his debts that he took with him and on occasions helps me out if I am really short for food, or buys me little treats like a bottle of vino if I sound really down with it all.
However since he has gone it has made me really think and now I am getting there, be it small baby steps.
Going to subscribe to this thread.

Muhren

Welcome to the new members, I hope you are not members for long (meant in the nicest way possible of course!).

Find_The_Real

Thanks for the welcome Muhren. It is good to know there are fellow single DFW's on the board and have experiences to share as I think it can be harder sometimes to tackle it alone.

Having said that though my ex was a major cause of the debt so it is a lot easier to manage my money on my own and actually manage to have a few small spends each month that I never had before.

Loving the single life too much to give up my status on here, I have left instructions for friends to shoot me if I ever even consider the couples bit again!