Single DFW

FattyBettyBoo

I kinda think that if i did meet someone this debt monster would be hanging over the relationship from the off

Just out of curiosity, has anyone started a new relationship while in debt, and if so, how have they taken it?

I met someone 4 years ago and my £10k debt was a massive problem for him. He had ample savings and the thought of debt horrified him. I showed him my plans to DF and how it was all 0% interest but all he could focus on was how long it would take to shift. He kept saying that we couldn't do things together as a couple because I had no money and he would feel guilty if I got into more debt.

Fast forward to early this year and I got back together with an ex from years gone by. Not bothered by the debt in the least, as he said it was obvious that I had it all under control. He could see where the debt had come from, and that I was managing it well. He actually asked me for advice on his small debt.

Loopylou1

FattyBettyBoo wrote: »

Just out of curiosity, has anyone started a new relationship while in debt, and if so, how have they taken it?

I met someone 4 years ago and my £10k debt was a massive problem for him. He had ample savings and the thought of debt horrified him. I showed him my plans to DF and how it was all 0% interest but all he could focus on was how long it would take to shift. He kept saying that we couldn't do things together as a couple because I had no money and he would feel guilty if I got into more debt.

Fast forward to early this year and I got back together with an ex from years gone by. Not bothered by the debt in the least, as he said it was obvious that I had it all under control. He could see where the debt had come from, and that I was managing it well. He actually asked me for advice on his small debt.

thats lovely to hear :T

lulabelle

yes FBB he sounds like a keeper!

Hmmm, so now the POF/dating thing starting to annoy me with men saying one thing and doing another so am toying with not bothering meeting any of them!!

On a more positive note have not left house today as been off work so not spent a dime! Going to a friends tomorrow night to watch a DVD and she is feeding us so will only have to get some chocolate and sweets to take so a LSD.

Am even debating staying in all weekend again just so I don't spend anything (although will never meet anyone that way!)

southernbelle

I also work with a lot of men and wouldn't touch POF with a bargepole! Especially in my area.

I am not so grumpy today, as have just checked my bank balance and it's not too bad! I know I've forgotten to pay something though.

FattyBettyBoo

yes FBB he sounds like a keeper!

We split up 2 weeks ago - hence me being here I was just thinking about different reactions to debt when you meet someone new

rising_from_the_ashes

*unlurks*

Hi all I've been reading with interest for the past couple of weeks and debating about joining you

• Single ...... for far longer than I really want to admit to .... can't see it changing any time soon as can't afford to go out / never meet anyone / don't know if I really want to if I'm totally honest:o
• Debts ...... carrying a bit of an OD unfortunately - had to change my car (totally unplanned) to an automatic after failed foot surgery & not being able to use the clutch and some unbudgeted for emergency household repairs but have managed to keep cc cleared each month & not resort to loans so it could be worse
• Reason for debts ...... very tight budget due to being single and the fact that nearly all my income goes on keeping a roof over my head & there's really not a lot left over:eek: .....
• I'm very bad at budgeting - trying hard on this one with the new budgeting pots .....

So many things so many of you have said have struck a chord ..... it does get lonely and it's bloomin' hard sometimes - especially not having someone to fall back / lean on so if we can keep each other spurred on that's fantastic!


I do find myself getting a bit envious sometimes when I see people saying they've had a NSD or similar but their OH has treated them to a meal out etc:o .... for a single person that's not an option......



*lurks again*

falldown7timesgetup8

rising_from_the_ashes wrote: »

*unlurks*

Hi all I've been reading with interest for the past couple of weeks and debating about joining you

• Single ...... for far longer than I really want to admit to .... can't see it changing any time soon as can't afford to go out / never meet anyone / don't know if I really want to if I'm totally honest:o
• Debts ...... carrying a bit of an OD unfortunately - had to change my car (totally unplanned) to an automatic after failed foot surgery & not being able to use the clutch and some unbudgeted for emergency household repairs but have managed to keep cc cleared each month & not resort to loans so it could be worse
• Reason for debts ...... very tight budget due to being single and the fact that nearly all my income goes on keeping a roof over my head & there's really not a lot left over:eek: .....
• I'm very bad at budgeting - trying hard on this one with the new budgeting pots .....

So many things so many of you have said have struck a chord ..... it does get lonely and it's bloomin' hard sometimes - especially not having someone to fall back / lean on so if we can keep each other spurred on that's fantastic!


I do find myself getting a bit envious sometimes when I see people saying they've had a NSD or similar but their OH has treated them to a meal out etc:o .... for a single person that's not an option......


*lurks again*

Welcome rising! :beer: Glad you decided to join us! Im with you on the whole feeling envious about going out for a meal thing, but thankfully I have a handful of friends who I am currently helping with their own businesses who often throw a treat my way
What irritates me more is the smug marrieds....does anyone else get peed off with having to buy endless engagement, baby shower, baby birth, wedding gifts? PLUS having to spend 3/4 times the budget on family members than they do on you for xmas cos they have a partner and kids?! Ive even had a takeaway with a couple who suggested that we split the bill - TWO ways (they apparently have merged into one person!) Drives me crazy. They moan about how expensive babies are for example, without realising that us singletons have to run a house on our own, with NO help and NO backup if we have a problem. If i lost my job, id be royally screwed!
ARRGHHHH!!!
** morning Rant over **

rising_from_the_ashes

falldown7timesgetup8 wrote: »

What irritates me more is the smug marrieds....does anyone else get peed off with having to buy endless engagement, baby shower, baby birth, wedding gifts? PLUS having to spend 3/4 times the budget on family members than they do on you for xmas cos they have a partner and kids?!

I have some friends who have 3 kids now, even if you spend £10 / kid that's £30 every Christmas / birthday ..... and what do you get in return? Something worth a tenner if you're lucky :mad:

I've stopped buying now as just can't afford it .....

falldown7timesgetup8 wrote: »

Ive even had a takeaway with a couple who suggested that we split the bill - TWO ways (they apparently have merged into one person!)

Had this too with a couple I used to go out with drinks with ..... round 1 = me, round 2 = her, round 3 = me, round 4 = him errrrrrrr I don't think so!:mad:

OMG I'm in the right place and feel like I belong here :rotfl:

falldown7timesgetup8

rising_from_the_ashes wrote: »

I have some friends who have 3 kids now, even if you spend £10 / kid that's £30 every Christmas / birthday ..... and what do you get in return? Something worth a tenner if you're lucky :mad:

I've stopped buying now as just can't afford it .....



Had this too with a couple I used to go out with drinks with ..... round 1 = me, round 2 = her, round 3 = me, round 4 = him errrrrrrr I don't think so!:mad:

OMG I'm in the right place and feel like I belong here :rotfl:

Its an absolute joke isnt it? Why should us singletons fork out for everyone and their celebrations and get very little in return?
Makes me really angry - because half the time, its EXPECTED and they lose sight of what is FAIR!

You are totally in the right place :j - And sorry for the rant folks, just having one of those days today! x

Devi

hi all and welcome new SADs!

i took my profile off all of the free dating sites last night as i've been on for a while and met some idiots and have wasted several hours checking my profile, checking for messages etc without having much luck - its like having a second job but without the income!

i have in the past paid for memberships on more reputable sites and its been a waste of money tbh so i have decided to stop. If i'm meant to be single, then so be it.

My head isn't in the right place for dating at the moment so going to have a break for a while and see how i feel next year - got to tackle my debt in the meantime.